I've been mainly a lurker on here, but I'm posting tonight because.... well, because it's better than facing what waits for me in the house!

I've been dealing (rather badly, I think) with the whole separation and divorce thing. And just as I started feeling like I was starting to get my wits about me with all this, the rest of my life decided to implode. The main water line into the house broke, and I was without water a week, plus the cleanup is still on-going. I can't move in the house because of all the stuff that was displaced during the flood, and I still have to figure out somewhere to put it all so the cleanup can continue. My truck started hesitating and backfiring, and the air conditioning went out in it too. Then last night I came home to find another water leak in the ceiling. No one can seem to find the leak so far - I live in a condo an the people above me can't find a leak, and I have no idea how to get this one found and taken care of.

I know....why am I putting all this on the divorce discussions? Just frustration, I guess. Looking for a friendly place to complain and get some sympathy, if nothing else. I'm out here in Maryland, and all my family lives in Indiana. And by all rights, I shouldn't have to be dealing with this alone....but I am. My STBx is too busy moving in and out of his girlfriend's apartment (4 times in as many weeks, by my count!) to be bothered to pay what he owes me, let alone help with anything. Add to that the fact that he calls periodically to ask if I've managed to talk to the lawyer yet. Like I don't have anything more important to do right now! He's anxious for me to get a settlement agreement together - though not anxious enough to actually pay for a lawyer himself - because he wants to take out a loan against his retirement fund to get a car, since his just died on him and he doesn't have the money to fix it. (He is still making car payments on it, plus payments on a truck he took out a 5 year loan on to buy for OW!!!!!) I have to sign for him to get the loan, and I told him I would sign once we had a signed agreement in place that gives me what I want in the settlement, including agreeing that we each just keep our own retirement. If I get everything I want, and my lawyer agrees that signing it won't hurt me in any way, then I'll do it, I guess.

I guess this is just a random vent on the way my life is going now. When all this started, I fought like crazy to get him to stay and work things out. Now, I just want it to be over so all the drama in my life can be done too, and I can try to get on with a normal life again.

You all keep saying it gets better. It will get better, right?

Hello penguin -- I wish I could find my posts from last fall. To answer your question though -- Yes, it definitely gets better.

Like you, everything in my house fell apart when WH left to be with OW. Water heater burst and flooded my kitchen and laundry room, the garage door stopped working, the sink backed up/major lines had to be cleared out, the sprinkler system went on the fritz, my roof leaked in an historic snow storm, etc.

Then, my father died unexpectedly and now my mom is having surgery.

It does seem overwhelming, but I have found that with the support of good friends I can endure just about anything. Yes, I have my bad days and I have days where I can barely function, but on the whole, life is better.

I have just filed for a D, which I did not want, but am ready to move on with my life after two years of pain and a whole lot of bull#$it from WH.

I realize now that I am better off without this selfish man in my life even if it means fixing everything without him and having a bit of a hard time financially.

I hope things get better for you. I found venting here a big help, so I encourage you to keep getting it off your chest.

None of us deserves this, but we can all survive and thrive eventually.

Peace to you.

I'm not much of a person with insights and advice lately. Weekends are often slow on this board. You might find more answers, information, and help over on the Infidelity boards - specifically the General Questions II board.