I have just been served with a Protective Order and I can no longer contact my wife and children. I also have to pay support immediately.

I am afraid that this will really destroy my case against her and I will have no chance of getting my children or ever what we had agreed to before. I feel like I am watching my life as I knew it vanish before my eyes. The system is so unfair to men.

I'm so sorry. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />
What reason did she give for doing this?

She is afraid that I will hurt her and mainly because I was taking action against her to take the children. She went back to an argument we had back in the summer of 03 when I asked her to talk about what was wrong. she had been acting depressed for some time and I wanted to talk to her. she refused and I became angry and threw a small empty box at her. I told her to getout of the house and if she did not I would call the police to have her removed. I left the house after that and returned about 1am. We also had an incident at the jail on Sat evening. I forbid her to have any contact with this inmate boyfriend of hers. I went there to see what he looked like and she was there. I confronted her and told her that I wanted the love letter on the seat of the car. She refused and ran off crying. The prison officers saw this and recommended that she get a TPO. she has also stated that she feels verbally and eotionally abused by me.

!!!

<small>[ March 10, 2004, 07:33 AM: Message edited by: Pheonix_66 ]</small>

Wow. It seems incredibly unfair that she could do that so easily. So you are telling me, if I was mad at my WH and really wanted to hurt him, I could just go and make up some stuff that he did and based on my word, they'd give me a restraining order? That's crazy.
I cannot imagine being ordered to stay away from my children. I truly feel for you. Can you contest it?

The courts know that this is an emotional time.
It's easy to get a TPO or TRO, but to get a permanent one is difficult. And judges don't like people who cry wolf.

Be the best person you can be and work with a lawyer to make sure you can see your children. Establish your parental rights now.

Faith yes it is that easy and it works both ways-just on your word.

I have an attorney and hopefully I will be able to contact him this morning but I still cannot see them for another 2 weeks. I will do my best to contest it but the poor helpless victim will most likely win this one. It just seems unjust that she has been in the wrong for the most part and has lied constantly to get what she wants.

I am so sorry that this is happening to you. With everything that I have read on your posts this seems simply insane. Do the courts do absolutely no checking on her stability or circumstances at all? I can now better understand your feelings of unfairness towards fathers in the courts. This is absurd. Where do you live? Is there any way to get around the two week waiting period or to have her checked out? I would be definately be concerned about the welfare of your children under these circumstances. I really feel for you, my XH was abusive in many ways and I never dreamed of doing this to him, it is evil. This is a highly emotional time. Your WW is panicking and the effects of her panic could be devestating to all of you.

You will be in my prayers.

Take care and God bless!
K

Remember, the courts err on the side of safety.
Once investigated, it is highly unlikely that it will be a permanent RO.

SR, in GA it is her word against mine. Its who gets there first.

I should have not indicated that she would loose the children at all but based on the information I have it was a real possibility.

Just a thought...

Have you considered going to Anger Management class in your city and actually getting an advocate on your side. You do realize that they do have ways of determining if you ARE really the one that is abusive, or if she's using it as a ploy to get her way....

like I said...just a thought. If ANYTHING...the classes will help you better parent your kids and that in itself is a win-win for both YOU and the KIDS! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

I think newly and Elan make good points. The courts are doing this as a safety measure and once investigated should drop it. However, you do need to get advocates on your side . You are already doing the right things now get professionals to back you up.

Also, don't let your WW know what you have on her or are planning to do no matter how tense it gets or how entitled you are. She has proven with this latest move that she can mess with you. Don't give her the ammunition or the reason to do it. Let your lawyer deal with this end of it while you spend you time strengthening your case.

Take care and God bless!
K

I will take you alls advice and look into an anger mgt class or counseling. I will start with the EAP at work. I have no chance of revealling anything to her because of the no contact in TPO. Just as well I really think it is a blessing right now forcing me not to deal with her at all and to focus on myself.

I think I have jumped the gun by filing so quickly. I hope I am not making things worse.