I believe I read in a reply to an earlier post that your ex and his OW were both in educational administration and he lost his job. Was it because of their A? Did OW get the boot too? I ask this because my WW is in educational admin also. OM works for state dept. of education. WW's boss, the superintendant, has know about the A for for quite some time, I suspect from the beginning. She has aided them in getting together under the guise of business and she and her husband vacationed w/ WW and OM during spring break. IMHO, I think all three of them should be standing in the unemployment line. They are supposed to be role models for our children and I don't think such low morals are setting a good example. Also, with WW in the position she is in and OM in the position he is in, their A is an extreme conflict of interest. My attorney says he will make OMs supervisor aware of what has happened after the D is finalized. Did you facilitate your WH losing his job? My congrats to you if you did.

Hi-
I just saw your post. My ex H lost his superintendent position because he and OW (the principal) lied and lied and lied about their affair. They lied to school board, they lied to the teachers in a meeting, and they lied to the students in an assembly. YES, they held an ASSEMBLY about it, denying it. Can you imagine how livid the parents were!?!

The funny thing is, they could've avoided it all. OW told ex H on the day we returned from a family vacation in Hawaii that she couldn't live without him anymore, and he needed to leave me. (I was 5 months pregnant at the time, and we also had a 1 year old and a 3 year old.) So they told their secretaries!!! that they loved each other. Of course that spread like wildfire. OW's husband was a teacher in the same building, and I was the director of the Montessori school/Child Care Center also on the same property. OW's very distraught husband called the school board members immediately. (But they would've found out any moment anyway, since they themselves told their secretaries and some other people.)

They had an emergency school board meeting the next week after tons of editorials in the local paper and all kinds of rumors. At the school board meeting, which OW ex H and I both attended, they lied and said it was just an emotional affair that they had ended, and they needed to go back to their families. They spoke to each one privately to discuss the possibility of sexual harrassment on his part. Then they held a meeting for all the teachers, (which I also attended) to hear them again say that it wasn't physical and they loved their spouses, and blah blah blah. My ex publicly asked for her ex H's forgiveness and said he hoped to one day restore the friendship. (We were all best friends.)

THEN kids started harrassing her, leaving anonymous discipline write-ups, saying things like "Written up for screwing the superintendent." So he had an assembly to defend her honor, and said they didn't have a physical affair but an emotional one and who knows what else. (Thankfully I was spared from that assembly.) Parents were livid that they did that, but the school board decided not to make any move, since they were both pledging to go back to their families.

They moved her office upstairs and they were not to have any contact alone. Their jobs were spared for the moment. They quickly began their affair again, and then they both moved out of their houses on Christmas Day. The school board decided to act, and the president came to me to ask what I think they should do. (!!!)_ I said they should do whatever they thought was prudent, and to take me out of the equation. (I had close friendships with two of the board members.) The OW's husband was extremely vocal. At that point, ex H was waffling and was wanting to come back home. He didn't know he was about to lose his job, but I told him about my conversation with the president. After talking with them and realizing it was resign or get fired, he quickly resigned. She maintained her job for the remainder of the semester, but had a miserable time, as her ex H and I were fully supported by the staff and community. She left her boys for my ex.

The saga continued, (I bet you are sorry you asked!) as my ex looked for a new superintendentcy. He interviewed in a town about 1.5 hours away, and all was well until they looked into his situation and heard a lot of what happened. He stayed with us, pretending to work on the marriage (with no job and never leaving the house) until he received the job offer, and then immediately moved out and in with OW. I was instructed not to tell them he had left, as apparently his job was hinging on him staying with his family. I refused to lie for him, but didn't go out of my way to get him in trouble either. I had our son in April, and by May he was begging to come back and start a new life with our family in a new town. I loved our life in the mountains, had a great job, and wonderful friends, but felt like I couldn't be the one who said no to a whole family for my children. I struggled with wanting to do God's will and not feeling any love for him and wanting to protect myself. Long story short, it turns out the new school district made it a condition of his employment that his family move out there with him. After one month, he resumed his affair and we moved away. He kept the job and has been there for the past two years. She has moved up to a good principal position in a big city. On the outside, it appears that crime pays. But I know better.

I think it is a shame that people like this and your W and her OM are supposed to be role models for our children, but after hearing all the support for Clinton during his debacle and how private lives need to be taken out of the equation, people seem to believe this and live by it. I know in my ex's case, as he rose up the ranks in power, he became increasingly arrogant and changed a lot. Same with OW, who at one time was my best friend.

I'm sorry for rambling, and I'm sorry you are having to deal with it. Good luck in your journey!

Thanks. I'm not sorry I asked, it helps to hear your story. I'm sorry it has happened to you but it reminds me that other people have been through worse situations than I. I can look at yours and say at least I'm not her. I can't imagine your pain. Pregnant and a cheating spouse. You have paid your dues. They exposed themselves to the school board, you didn't have to help, and when you were approached by the school board you took the high road and asked them to keep you out of their decision. I doubt that I could do that. I know some of our school board members are aware of part of the situation here. The time will come for them to know the rest of the story. It might get interesting. Thanks for responding, good luck to you too.