I have been divorced since march. It was a mutual decision. I found out he had cheated with various "aquaintences" in the course of 12 years, then I resorted to cheating...and it destroyed everything. I could not forgive him. I had always felt very controlled and disrespected by him. He felt low on my priority list and secondary in my life.

Anyway, after being divorced for 6 months, he told me that he wakes up every morning and prays to God to help him forget about me. He said that he still loves me. I then told him that maybe we should try again. He has had girlfriends and I have had a boyfriend. I do feel slightly jealous of his other relationships, however he is divorced and he has every right to seek companionship. (I tell myself, "Get over it silly!") However, when he talks to me he is very critical of my relationship since I have had sex with my boyfriend even though I have admitted to knowing that I did not love him (only cared about him) and that I could never marry him. I admit, he relieves my lonliness and I relieve his. We mutually agree that we are "just friends" (with a few benefits.)

I have always felt my ex is very self righteous and critical when it comes to me. I feel that he also holds women to different standards than men. He supposedly cares for a particular woman and yet he has had sex with another woman. I don't judge him for this, but he judges me.

Anyone out there ever tried again 6 months after divorce and dating other people? And did it work? How did you make it work?

Also, my motivation for getting back together is my kids and missing having a complete family. I'm just not sure if I still love my ex. But I wouldn't be jealous of him if I didn't love him or atleast have feelings for him, right? His motivation for getting back together is because he says he still loves me. When we were married, I felt very lonely and emotionally abandoned, I'm so scared it might go back to that.

How can I assure that it won't? We both insist on therapy...

Lynn

I have been divorced since march. It was a mutual decision. I found out he had cheated with various "aquaintences" in the course of 12 years, then I resorted to cheating...and it destroyed everything. I could not forgive him. I had always felt very controlled and disrespected by him. He felt low on my priority list and secondary in my life.

OK. So you're each 50% responsible for breakdown at this point with each having EN's not met by other. So far; no reason why you cannot "fix" M.

Anyway, after being divorced for 6 months, he told me that he wakes up every morning and prays to God to help him forget about me. He said that he still loves me. I then told him that maybe we should try again.

The divorce has no bearing whatsoever at this point. You are both now single!!! So he still loves you and you desire to work it out.

I do feel slightly jealous of his other relationships, however he is divorced and he has every right to seek companionship. (I tell myself, "Get over it silly!")

Good advice to yourself!

I have always felt my ex is very self righteous and critical when it comes to me. I feel that he also holds women to different standards than men. He supposedly cares for a particular woman and yet he has had sex with another woman. I don't judge him for this, but he judges me.

Yes, you are judging him!

Anyone out there ever tried again 6 months after divorce and dating other people? And did it work? How did you make it work?

The amount of time after D does not matter. Did it work (for someone else) does not matter. How to do it matters!

Also, my motivation for getting back together is my kids and missing having a complete family. I'm just not sure if I still love my ex. But I wouldn't be jealous of him if I didn't love him or atleast have feelings for him, right? His motivation for getting back together is because he says he still loves me. When we were married, I felt very lonely and emotionally abandoned, I'm so scared it might go back to that.

It is crystal-clear to me that you still love him and never stopped. Perhaps other MB-ers will offer their opinion on that. Personally; I think it's great. You two probably went through he-- prior to and during D and still love each other. Do you have any idea what a blessing that is? Sure you're scared. I would be too! But you two have the rare second chance to do it right now while still being in love with each other. (Want to trade places???)

My recommendation: I would set up a conference call to Steve Harley as soon as possible. Both of you should share with him that you are still in love and also share with him your worst fears. Then do as he suggests. You guys are so close to being an awesome married couple that it's scary! Dump a little pride here, regain a little self esteem there, forgive each other for the past, commit to your future and you are there. All you have to do; is do it!

How can I assure that it won't?

You can't. God gets to decide that one!!! Good Luck.

FR