Ok, I know this sounds a little paranoid, but humor me...

I was wondering if anyone has ever seen any posts authored by a member with the name of "flirtingwiththeenemy" or possibly "flirting with the enemy" or even "operation flirting with the enemy"...????? The reason I ask is that in some of my divorce paperwork, my WW mentions the MB discussion forum and quotes some stuff allegedy written by me that I NEVER wrote. She also lists my various login names as "RJP", "Want My Wife Back", and also as "Flirtingwiththeenemy". Now, I have gone by the first two names, but NOT the third.

Please let me know if you have seen anything. Thanks.

Have you done a search in the forums?

Try this post--authored by YOU--I believe back in July---

http://www.marriagebuilders.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=34;t=011521#000007

Yes... I know I used that term on two occasions. But you see the paperwork took some of what i said completely out of context adn made stuff up that I never, ever said. Also, it was listed that I used flirtingwiththeenemy as a login name... which I NEVER EVER did. So, in my little cartoon bubble, I see my WW and the OM sittig around and creating an account with that login name... writting things that would appear to have come from me... in order to be used against me. I know, this sounds awefully paranoid... trust me, I know... but I can't figure out where this is comming from and this was all I could come up with. As such... thought I'd ask around. Thanks for the insights.

WMWB???,
Is that why you've been so scarce around here? I'm glad my WxW didn't find me here, my ranting and raving probably would have got me sent to the Big House for terroristic threatening or something. At least you know she's watching. Be careful.

Could the MB Webmaster provide more insite? Can't they tell the email address the posts came from? It may not be available as general knowlege but.... maybe in certain circumstances.

Doesn't hurt to ask.

D.

Well, the names are not listed in the directory--
and I have already posted the only information I could find about the topic--

So apparently she took the topic and used it as the name--

Hey guys… thanks for the advice. I emailed a couple of the moderators last week but haven’t gotten a response as of yet. Maybe I’ll try again.

Jeff, how have you been doing? No, this isn’t the reason I’ve been scarce around here… don’t really know why. Things have been kind of busy around here and since she had me arrested we haven’t really been able to speak to one another at all… so nothing new to report or discuss. Funny thing though, we had a hearing date set up for the harassment order yet due to the judges calendar, we had to arrive at a temporary agreement. That agreement was the following: we would each get to talk to the kids every night, the order was put in a state of suspension unit the pre-trial for the divorce (at which time WW gets to decide if she wants to drop the harassment order or if she wants to fight for it to be in effect), and there is an addendum to the existing family court order stating that we are to have NO CONTACT with one another. So, since the middle of August this has been in effect… but WW follows none of the stipulations. Things are exactly how they were before she pulled this stunt and got the harassment order. We have been talking on the phone just like before, she still only allows me to talk to the kids about half of the time… it is unreal.

The thing that really irritates me about the MB stuff appearing in the custody report is that it was taken completely out of context and I was never asked about the stuff I wrote. WW was allowed to put her spin on it and I never even knew the custody evaluator was aware of it. Not that I was trying to hide anything… but it never came up in our meetings. I get the impression that she (the evaluator) viewed everything I did as a pathetic display of denial. Appearantly we as BS’s are just supposed to “get over it” and accept that our spouses have found another. From the tone of the report, everything in the MB doctrine was viewed as some sinister plan… designed to get revenge on our WS. That fact that we are pulling out hair out to do anything to preserve our families, to uphold the covenant we made with our spouses before God, that we love our WS’s so much that we “sign up” for the hell that is trying to pull our family thru infidelity. It seems that the affair meant nothing, just a fact of life…. Yet my reactions to it, my attempts to shelter my kids from it, the things I did to try and save my marriage… those things did count… they counted against me! I am viewed in the report as some pathetic sap who can’t get over my wife finding someone else. Who isn’t mature enough to just allow my family to dissolve. Who can’t accept that “these things happen… life goes on”. Well ya know… yeah, life goes on. I know that. But what kind of husband would I be if I just gave up as easily as WW did? What kind of father would I be? What kind of Christian would I be? It just amazes me how the paradigm is skewed such that infidelity is acceptable but patience and love is not.

Let me clarify the contact part of tht last post... The time period between the arrest and the hearing, WW and I had NO contact. Since the heraring, however, we have maintained normal conact dispite the order by the judge not to. I just don't understand what the point of the damn order is??? I f we are going to talk anyway... with her initiating the contact most of the time by the way... and we still get to talk to the kids... what is the point!?!?!?!? Can anyone help me with this????

WMWB???,
Your WW is just evil. Mine was and is too. Reality doesn't exsist with them. People that tell you to "get over it" haven't been through it. I also got "cowboy up". I went from more or less happily married to divorced in just over 6 months. In that time I found out that my wife had a boyfriend, he wasn't the first, and that the last 11 years of my life was a fantasy. I'm not surprised that your wife's infidelity is of little concern to those involved in the legal part. What you want is custody of your kids, she has proven that she is a bad wife, its next to impossible to prove that she is a bad mother. The playing field is extremly unlevel, the tilt is all in the mothers favor. I wound up with the last thing in the world I ever wanted- the every other weekend plan with my kids. The kids are suffering too. The Dv was final Aug. 2nd and we are already going back to court, she has filed a contempt of court citation against me based on lies. The only true complaint that she has is that I call the kids after 8:00 at night. I do that. She can keep them out til 9:00 or later on school nights but 8:15 is to late for me to call. I really expect the judge to lay into her for taking me back to court with no real issues, I'll know next week. Sometimes I feel like I am still in shock from the events that started unfolding the end of January but all things considered I'm doing pretty good. Before the DV was final, I just wanted to get it over with. Now it is over but it keeps going on. With the physcho you have to deal with, yours will probably be similar.

WMWB,

I have seen that name on GQ recently. Unfortunately, I cannot recall the date or the thread but it was in the last week or two. I did a search and didn't come up with anything other than this thread so it stands to reason that the name has been changed. Sorry, not much help.

That name drew my attention because of it's similarity to the movie title Sleeping With The Enemy...a must see film.

WMWB,

Please send me another email - I have just cleared the mail box totally.

I'll get back to you as soon as possible.

Magnolia

Hey MB,

Done... sent you two emails actually. Feel free to get ahold of me with any questions. Thanks for the help with this.

WMWB, I am not an attorney. BUT.

If the stuff you write here is being used in your custody proceedings, I would strongly suggest that you NOT WRITE ABOUT YOURSELF in this forum.

I would also say that if you're anywhere in the DC area, I would be more than happy to meet with your attorney to talk about MB principals and how they work. Sinister plot this is not. It is certainly painful, counterintuitive, difficult, and a whole lot of other things. But as evidence in an unfavorable custody evaluation? Errr, well no.

However -- it will take careful arguments on the part of your attorney to turn away some of the things that the custody evaluation will find. DOn't go into that blind. Be careful, be smart, and keep your thoughts out of the eyes of the public -- and your adversaries.

Hmm.

Speaking of adversaries, your wife may well read this post of mine. In which case, I say to her:

WMWB's wife: You're welcome to post here, and to start to learn how to build and maintain a good marriage with your husband. There is also a forum over on the SYMC board that is for wayward spouses only. You're more than welcome to come over and start to get some help and support for yourself and the potential for saving your marriage. You may well not be interested or think that I'm crazy for inviting you, but if you'd like to, please come on over. You're also welcome to e-mail me directly if you'd like to.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Just J:
<strong> WMWB, I am not an attorney. BUT.

If the stuff you write here is being used in your custody proceedings, I would strongly suggest that you NOT WRITE ABOUT YOURSELF in this forum.

</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Geeez JJ.... ya think!?!?!?!? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Yeah, the thought kind of occured to me as well. Thanks for the advice and support. We are in Minnesota though. Besides... I think the actual transcript of what I wrote will more than speak for itself. I hoping to get this taken care of in mediation rather than trial... but I am more than willing to go to trial. And trust me... I fully understand the extent of preperation required. Thanks again.

Edited to add...

Thank you also for the invitation to my lovely WW. I'm sure she will find some fault in it... but you have my thanks nonetheless.

<small>[ October 29, 2004, 02:48 PM: Message edited by: Want My Wife Back??? ]</small>

Minnesota, huh? Well isn't that interesting. Write to me off-list, would you?

I sent you an email... assuming that's what you meant.

WMWB --- dejavue ... you know what I mean.. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> I'll tell ya later if you don't .. Hi to everyone else .. my internets been down so I haven't posted in a while.. I'll update soon .. L&C