Hi RM,
It is good to hear from you.
I will answer the question regarding the journal...from my perspective. In my journal...I have several sections...one part is about my feelings about WH and M...another section has inspiration which I keep email messages from family, friends, postings such as yours, Bible passages to give me hope and sometimes cartoons to make me laugh. A third section is just for me....stuff I want to do, accomplish with my life or feel about my life. I would say the section are proportioned with 40% WH/M stuff; 20% inspiration and 40% about "me" stuff. I am not sure if you have sections in your journal....but maybe this idea might help you.
I liked what you said in your message.....
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> WS is coming out of the fog a litle more each day. But as for long term prospects, I am not sure how WS is feeling, nor how I will feel about that possibility. She is carrying a deep sense of shame, guilt, very low self esteem and tells me she misses me all the time. Why tell me now, and not a few months ago ?(probably because OP was there for her )
Once WS is setup I am going dark again. I need to heal myself (whatever that means ) </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Couple of observations, IMHO....
*some would criticize our modified Plan B, but I understand it. I like that you put a limit to the C...how do you define "set-up"? Is it when she is moved in or 2 weeks or whichever comes first? We giver/softy types have a hard time NOT getting drawn in...what is the limit to your limit?
*I'm not sure, but if your WW is feeling shame, guilt and low, it may mean she IS coming out of the fog, taking responsibility for her actions and if she is depressed she probably is withdrawing....which probably affirms she is in NC. RM, that is a good thing!
*I think it is a good thing that your WS misses you....it means you did a good Plan A....you have made your self an attractive and safe place. Good job, RM. (My WH is still saying he wants to "miss me"...only says it when pressured.)
*As for why, didn't WS say that months ago...do you think she was foggy? Did she not see the real you or the new, real you?
I take responsibility for my part in our M. I look back on my behavior in the last few years and how I behaved. I knew I was doing some damage, but did not know how to stop. I would not have missed the old me. WH and I have been together for 22 years and he does not know if the new "me" is for real or just a trap. I think it is a good thing that she misses you anytime with the two year period the Harleys talk about...it makes recovery for the both of you a possibility, if that is what you want.
*She will continue to withdrawal and will probably not be able to fill your EN's right away. I am in the sitch and now I see the reason for Plan B and why BS have to save love for recovery. We are sometimes our M's only hope.
*Sooooooooo....RM.....in Plan B.....go dark to heal yourself and save enough love for a recovery option.
I hope these thoughts are some "food" for thought. Take care of you and I am sending support your way.
May God bless, ss
PS. Thanks for your inquiry on GQ...I will post an update on me there. Take care. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />
