Oh my exH! Some days I do come very close to just HATING him and this is one of them. He has filed to the court to modify child support BECAUSE HE CAN'T MANAGE HIS MONEY!!! AARGGHH!! He doesn't earn enough money to pay for all his new furniture and cable, so he's petitioning to lower child support so he can pay for all his toys!!

What kind of parent does that??? I learn much less than he does, have higher rent, and I provide for TWO CHILDREN--and I have learned to live within my means! I have also learned to do without, so that I can get/give/do things for my kids...why can't he???

Oh, I am so pissed!!!

So far, he has been court ordered to provide health insurance for the kids, and stopped in like June--he lied on the financial affidavit and completely covered up his 100% ownership in a whole business (from which he does INDEED get income every month)--and he has not ONCE gotten child support to me on the due date (this month it was 11 days late). He also lied about having EQUAL parenting responsibility and time (the kids are with me every night overnight, my daughter goes with him overnight once a week if she's in town and HE'S in town, and he doesn't even take my son overnight at all. It's like he doesn't want to spend any time or money on our son!!

I'm so sick of his "all about me" attitude. I'm done being nice to him, and I am SO DONE with him. I'm revealing EVERYTHING to the courts, and I'm going to bring documentation to prove what I'm saying. By god, if he wants to leave me, that's one thing (good riddance!) but he is NOT doing this to his kids!!!!!

AARRGGHH!!!!


FNCJ

<small>[ January 14, 2005, 02:41 AM: Message edited by: FaithfulNewCJ ]</small>

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> I'm revealing EVERYTHING to the courts, and I'm going to bring documentation to prove what I'm saying. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">You go girl!

In Nebraska a person ordered to pay child support does so until the child turns 19 and it is refered to it as age of majority.

Failure to provide health insurance will backfire on him too. He is fully responsible for payment of your childrens medical bills if something did happen to them. What a ding dong! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

I've been there, my ex filed me with papers and we went to court. He claimed poverty and that he earned below $10,000 Cdn a year. He works under the table so I was unable to prove otherwise. I was awarded 110. a mth for 2 children. He hardly ever took the kids either, sometimes for months and if he did take them it was only for one night. Whatever you do, don't do what I did, keep your anger to yourself, don't let your kids see or hear any of it. They will eventually know who was there for them. I never believed that until recently. My kids were 2 1/2 and 5 1/2 when I left. They are now 14 and 17 and have realized that I was the one there for them. My x and I finally have a good relationship and he started paying $300 a month on his own about 5 yrs ago. It has not been easy and there are hard times ahead but if you know you are doing the right thing then you will have peace in your heart.

Good luck and take care of yourself and your precious baby.

Marie

Sorry, I had to leave my desk for a minute and was confused in my posts. I meant to take care of yourself and your kids (not baby, I was still thinking about Horsey's post).

If you have to fight then fight and make sure you have all the evidence you can find.

Marie

GGRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!

Just to agree with you. How long does the decree say he has to pay child support. In TN, they have to pay only until child turns 18, my decree states that he has to pay until the child finishes high school and starts college the following fall.

But, at x's encouraging, my d still wants to go live with her dad. And if she does, and I have to pay child support to him, I'll have to sell my house.

I initially misread your post and thought he was behind in child support more than 11 days, so am editing...

Okay, so can you take him back to court and force him to provide the insurance if it's in the decree?

As for his trying to get out of the support, I think that's crap, but I've known people personally who've done it. It is really sad how greedy non-custodial X's get!

LL


LL

<small>[ January 15, 2005, 07:34 PM: Message edited by: lordslady ]</small>

WTF?

massachusetts, its 23. . . . .

i am going to never be able to pay another car in my life. . again at this rate

wiftty

I'm in the same boat. My ex was supposed to pay $1400 for 4 kids, 75% of their college tuition, insurance and half of medical bills. So far, he has sent $400 a month. He is also petitioning to have his child support lowered.

I don't have a lot of faith in our court system--I think he will get away with it. And of course-I am the horrible ex wife taking all of his money.

This whole mess was his choice. And we are living or should I say--trying to survive them every day. The kids have pitched in, I am working my heart out, my college kids are working 2 jobs a piece---and my ex is sitting on the beach and flying all over the country to visit his bimbo flight attendant wife while she works.

He started out saying "I don't know what I am doing, I have a great family and wife", to "I will never leave you destitute", to "when our son is 18, and I die you will get what you deserve-which is nothing", to "I don't understand why you don't sell the house, bimbo and I are having to live in a one bedroom apt, what do you need the house for"........it is so depressing.

My lawyer filed a reply to his motion to modify ($1500), now asked for another $1500 to take this to court. My garage door opener quit, my sump pump quit, I had to pay my ex's portion of both my college kids' tuition, my van broke down over Christmas and I had to buy a new used van, I had to pay for eye care I have a $144 dental bill for my oldest daughter--------BUT, he and bimbo don't understand why I shouldn't be able to survive on $475 a month. That won't even pay my heating bill. I am so sick of this mess.


My feeling is---my ex owes this family for putting us through so much heartache, financial devastation, and stress.

I have no sympathy for him. I just hope they see it that way in court.

Sorry for the vent. Pat

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">massachusetts, its 23. . . . </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">It actually is only 23 if they are still in college, and if you were still married, wouldn't you be supporting them while they were in college?

And if most of the school systems in the state hadn't changed the school entrance cutoff date to Sept. 1, most students wouldn't be already 22 before they finish college.

Here in the Rocky Mountains, the CS ends at age 19 -or- it can be continued if they are in college to age 23; however, the vast majority of the time it ends at 19yo. In our case that is neither here nor there, as OS is 17yo, and YD is 15yo. I TRULY, TRULY believe this is a pure and simple instance of exH mismanaging his money and not having enough for his playthings, so he's asking the courts to not have to pay for his kids!!

AARRGGHH!!

(Brief soapbox) Once again, he is nothing if not consistent. When he had his affair, he moved OUT-OF-STATE and for six months no one knew where he was. I did not have a job or any money or any way to support us, but somehow I did it. During those months in 1999, he sent $0 for the support of his own children because "he needed it" to spend on himself and his GF. Then again, in 2002, he moved out of the house to live in an extended stay suite so he could have his cybersex GF, and again for six months he did not send $1 to help support his own children, because "he needed it." He said out loud, to his children: "I will not pay one single dime until a judge forces me to" and he didn't!!

Sooo...why is this really a surprise?? It is a very consistent pattern. When he is low of money, apparently his obligations as a parent disappear and the offspring are to fend for themselves! And here's the real kicker! Against all odds and despite incredible disadvantage, I have managed in one and a half years to get to the point where I am living within my means. According to our family budget (which BTW the kids and I worked on and agreed to together), we spend exactly what we make with $24 to spare each month. I have paid off MOST of my divorce debts, own my car, and am more or less financially stable BECAUSE I WORKED AT IT and sacrificed and worked long, long hours!! I can't just quit providing for the kids...what makes him think HE CAN!!!!????

I'll tell ya...the temptation to take the kids over to his townhouse, drop them off with a suitcase of clothes and say, "They're yours! Bye!" and see the look on his face... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> He would crumble in no time, and yet that is EXACTLY what he did to me, and I not only survived, I thrived! I bet I could delay that court hearing for a YEAR and never have to pay him a DIME!! I'd like to see him even try to survive that! Ha!

* * * * *

Anyway (coming down off my soapbox), here's what I have decided to do. I am not going to let him get away with this, so I have decided to file for contempt of court for the health insurance. I've also decided to file for a G.A.L. for the kids' best interests--that way it's not just me (the psycho exW), it's an attorney looking out for the kids! I am also going to file for the court to compel full financial disclosure of all bank accounts, business holdings, and assets. Hey, I have account numbers and documentation, and I am going to ask the COURT to force him to reveal it all! THEN, I'm going to ask that CS be re-calculated using the new info, all the assets, and all the bank accounts, etc. By my guesstimate, CS should be going UP not down! And here's the sweetest part...it will be the COURT ordering him to be a responsible parent and holding him accountable, not me. No matter what the decision is, I am going to file that his company get a notice to withhold CS and notice to withhold for insurance, and that the payments be sent directly to ME and to the insurance company BEFORE he even gets his check.

I'm DONE [censored]-footing around, and frankly I don't care if I come across a little pushy. He has pushed ONCE TOO OFTEN and now, I'm don't need to be a people-pleaser. I am talking about MY KIDS here!!


CJ

GO, CJ!!!!

Hi FNCJ,

What I was going to suggest was what you mentioned in your last post.I am so sorry you have to endure this crap.If I ever win the mega bucks,I am shelling out tons just to help mom's with children!

Anyway,if your wacko ex is so keen on spending his children's support money on Miss Bimbo,then DO start a petition to get bills and statements that can show where the money is going.The court isn't going to be too happy that he isn't providing for his kids and that he is throwing money away on some tramp.

Your kids are blessed to have you being their advocate.But,if I may add,don't drop them off at Mr.Selfish's house.He's not a fit parent to even a rat right now.Keep them safe and loved with YOU. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

GOOD LUCK!! Let us know how things go.

O

You rock CJ!

Stick to your guns and stay tough. the GAL is a good idea. And I am sooooo sorry if he and the gf/bimbo can't seem to have this wonderful romantic little dream they wanted...he had a PRIOR committment...his kids (and you too). The OP don't really get that. That the object of their desires had responsibilities and if they procreate, they will have little responsibilities of their own...and that the responsibilities cannot be ignored, just because you want to live la vida loca now.

What a wackaloon.

I hope the judge shoves a 2 x 4 where the sun doesn't shine and that he and the bimbette have to be forced to McDonald's and the mantinee on their romantic date night...should serve them both well.

Me and my wife separated to work stuff out in hopes to be back together. I offered to help her with bills and my son. I payed for her cell phone gave her cable and internet at her apt for her along with giving her 300 a month also, or what ever else i could do for them. Now its 6 months later and she is saying, divorce and that i didnt help her with anything. We are still married.and are not legally separated. She seams to have gave up trying to make this work, she thinks i dont love her or care for her. I know there are some little birdies talking to her at work egging her on to divorce. alos i have my son 6 out of the 7 days a week. She says she wants more when we get divorced ugggggghhhh all i wanted to do was work on our problems and take care of my family the best i could financially . my sun is number one to take care of. also to this day she still hasnt filed she wants more time before she dose it

<small>[ January 20, 2005, 12:29 PM: Message edited by: s350sxx ]</small>