I'm very good at research, collecting information, that sort of thing.... has anyone here went to a custody hearing representing themselves? Does this work? Is it wise? I mean you know the saying "A man who represents himself has a fool for a client" or something along those lines... But I know this custody lawyer is going to cost some money.... And if we can do it ourselves.... well... why not? <P>Any ideas.... Of course I dont know the first thing about the law... however I am very intelligent and very determined.<P>Suggestions?<BR>Comments?<BR>

Hi - I work in the legal field - and I wouldn't do it - there are too many people who are intelligent people and enter the courtroom and become tongue-tied and are not versed in the law well enough to counter when a skilled attorney has you on the carpet. I would perhaps call Legal Aid in your area and one of those attorneys could help you probably for a fraction of the cost - and are very good. I just wouldn't want to take a chance in "doing it yourself" and letting the OW have some "loophole" to get through - because it will haunt you the rest of your life.<P>------------------<BR>

I kind of figured that... I just wanted another opinion. <P>I am NOT a good public speaker anyway... had this awful experience at a youth group getaway one time... shoo eeee but thats another story!! <P>Thanks DD!!

Hey Littlebird..I do not know the net all that well. Could you maybe help me find info on the laws in Arizona? What I really need to find out is can the hussy file fo rback child support. His name is not on the birth certificate. He has had a dna test done. He is dad. She filed for support and then SHE dropped the case. Can she get $$$$ from us later in life? Thanks Littlebird or anyone else who might know (isnt there a lawyer in here somwhere?...lol).<BR>May God Bless You All<P>We are Wives...Hear us RoaR1!!!!!lol

Check out my post for legal information regarding paternity. The first URL has information for each state.

Just as a side bar, my husband and I spent in excess of three thousand dollars and still owe another $9,000 in attorney fees for representation that was completely ineffective. In fact, in our case, the judgement was no less than what it would have been if we would have represented ourselves, because the laws are biased to OW/OC and H's are considered 'skunks'.<P>The NY Family Court's impetus is to garner as much of the non-custodial parents paycheck as possible. They were not interested in eveidence and records and determined that we were lying and "unreliable witnesses" even though we provided everything we had, everything they asked for. They thought we were 'cooking the books'.<P>They did not listen to us or our attorney...we would have been better off to represent ourselves because we would have received the same outcome regardless whether we spent $12,000 on attorneys or on the quickly multiplying 'arrears' that plague us now.<P>In cases like this, I wonder just how much an attorney can protect some of us in Family Court where the laws and the overall mindset is to extort large income shares from the non-custodial parent.<P>Choose your attorney wisely, but realize there probably isn't much they can do for you...the deck is stacked in favor of the OW/OC. <P>Sorry.<P>Catnip =^^=

Dear Catnip<P>I am sorry about the outcome. This isn't fair. <P>Are there any place where you can sue her - I read from some posts that it depends on where they had an A?<P>I hope there is some recourse for this.<P>Love<BR>weep

I also worked in a family court setting. I think if you are good in research you can be effective in the courtroom. the judges I deal with are willing to continue cases if necessary if there is something you missed.<P>we also have something called SCOPE. it is a meeting twice a month at the court with an attorney and the clerk...it is free. They will instruct you on how to fill out the paperwork, tell you what the fees are and tell you what is needed to represent yourself.<P>It can be done, but I am not sure I would choose getting the custody of my children to be the hearing to do it. I thought mine was a no brainer and almost lost my children because my ex decided to tell the court I had been sexually abused by my father and that I continued to have a relationship with him...<BR>for that he almost got custody!! It did not matter that the abuse had been 15 years prior and that both parties had been to counseling and that I did not leave the kids there on their own...<P>However, if you have an agreement with your H and it is all just a matter of paperwork, I say yes, do it yourselves!!

Thanks Sweetpea...I did look through the url...it was kinda greek to me but I do not think I found the info I was looking for. Or if I did find it I didnt know I had...lol<BR>Thanks though.<BR>God Bless...

Hello everyone, we didnt have the money for a lawyer , what we did was went to the district attornys and filed a sipulation each state has diffrent guidelines they have to go by . I believe this only works if both parities agree thou. As far as cusduty the friend of the court for your state would be a good place to start ask for a friend of the court hand book. bye for now Flowerseed<P>------------------<BR>

Hi, <BR> I'm sorry to say that after many months of court battles (that will go on and on for quite some time,) I must agree with Catnip. Quite frankly, courts and judges care little, if at all, for the spouse and family of of a philandering spouse. All my life I have been a law-abiding citizen with enormous repsect for the law, I have been niave enough to believe that there is truly "justice" in American family courts, but as a veteran of the family courtroom battles, I have learned that it is NOT so.<BR> In most states, the court who hears and handles the legal battles is part of the juvenile division, since the parents are not married. Civil suits that may arise between the parties are heard in county courts. But no matter where your case may be heard, do not expect to find a judge who is a person of superior knowledge, intelligence, and integrity. I suspect that judges attain their positions in part because they are not competent enough to handle antual cases themselves. (Remember the old Peter Principle? Promote smeone to his level of incompetence??!)<BR> Certainly my husband was fully responsible for his actions. Yes- he was a selfish, no good so and so, etc. etc.But at least HE has taken full responsibility for himself, accepted the consequences, and is trying to make amends. She, on the other hands, still uses phrases like "...got me pregnant..." Well, Boo Hoo! Excuse me, but I never heard her mention being raped. <BR> Just once, in one of these hearings, I'd love to hear a judge look squarely at HER and say, (politely, of course) "But ma'am, need the court remind you that your were F**king a married man? Hm?" <BR> Oh, well, guess I'm just grumpy today. Full moon, you know. Anyway, don't get your hopes up about "going to court." There is little "justice" in the American justice system.