Hello Again,
I've written to MB for the past 3 years now whenever I was confronted with a problem I couldn't handle. I was always led in the right direction by everyone and I hope it happens again.
Well, ever since I can remeber, my H has had an obsession with money. I always just blew it off just as long as we able to get by. But recently it's been changing. He is in total control of the finances, and know that's my first mistake, but I don't feel confidant enough to handle them on my own. WHen he would go overseas for 6 months I would HAVE to handle them, but it was different because he wasn't there to talk me into or OUT OF anything.
What I mean is, everytime he is about to purchase something a bit pricey I ask him if he's sure about it. His famous answer is "Don't worry about it." And unfortunately I wouldn't. That's where the trouble would start. Bad checks treated like they were nothin', car repo's(twice),electric..water..cable..phone etc. turned off more than once. The list goes on.
At one point, we were just moving back to FL after 3 years in MD and I came back first with my son. I was house and job hunting until it was time for my H to transfer. Well, during one of my job hunts, I was told I needed fingerprints taken in order to do a background test. Well, I 've done it before with no prblem so why not. I dropped my son off with my parents and told them I'd be right back. Well...I was wrong. 2 years before (trusting my H again) I wrote a check at the grocery store after he told me it was OK. Well it wasn't. The check bounced and was never taken care of. I had no idea and let 2 yrs pass without paying it. Needless to say, the store put a warrant out for my arrest, and when i innocently went to the police station to have my prints done I was ARRESTED!!! I had to stay in jail overnight until my parents could bail me out!
When I brought it up with my H over the phone the following night all he could say was I'm so sorry, but I thought they'd never go through with it! That occured 3 years or so ago, and now I think there may be another warrant for yet another bad check for groceries! He says he took care of it, but who knows.
Next, I was awarded $36,385 from my moms Social Security in Jan of this year. I thought for sure that this would turn everything around. I was wrong again. I WAS keeping track of our new bank account and logging every penny spent, but then he started getting secretive again. I asked him why the account online was different than what was in my checkbook. He said "not to worry about it" because it was just some football cards he was buying from Ebay that didn't cost much. Well they added up very quickly. And after paying realatives, and past due bills back, my money was getting sucked away. The only thing that was getting me through it was the $10,000 that we shoved into a savings account. Well I was so happy to finally have that much money safely put away for a down payment on a new house (eventually) but I just came to find out that he has been dipping into that too and it's GONE! We are back to living paycheck to paycheck.
We have a new Ford Mustang that I was told was given to him at a great rate with no money down and just a trade in. Well I found out that they were expecting him to put $1500 down on it and $500 more for tax and title! He gave them the $500 CHECK knowing damn well we didn't have it! Needless to say it bounced and they are trying to take the car back but he keeps parking it the garage so they won't take it overnight. I also wrote 2 checks out to my son's daycare after being told that it was OK. It wasn't, my son is not allowed to return until $462 is paid in cash! The landlord keeps calling because they recieved a bad check as well!
The worst part about it, is that he has NOTHING to show for it all! NOTHING!!! He does use Ebay A LOT and I know he buys thins on there without asking because boxes just appear on my doorstep everyday! It used to be sports cards, but now it's Mustang toys for his car! You know...THE CAR THAT HE IS NOW HIDING!!! I know many of you are going to write in saying that it's all my fault for not taking finances over, but he will always find a way to talk me into buying something. It's happened before. And I'm afraid to keep saying no because I might push him away! What on earth should I do!? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />
<small>[ June 22, 2003, 02:57 PM: Message edited by: Coming to my senses ]</small>