I haven't posted in a while here. Im married, 2 kids, have gone through alot of stuff in our marriage, but thinking lately its been okay.
I recently had a misscarriage and have been on a emotional roller coaster for the past 2 weeks (happened 2 wks ago). My H has been mostly supportive through this but at times. I am having a tough time of it, trying to deal with it, with all the hormones etc.....
To top it off, he is not working, he decided to quit his job b/c he couldn't deal with the stress, without having another one to go to, i didnt' say anything, i supported him, emotionally and now i am supporting our family financially. It ticked me he didn't find something else first, but i let that go.....
So now he got a job, working for not much money, a couple days a week. There has been 2 other good opportunities that he has decided not to take as he decided he is taking one of our daughters on a trip in the summer to see relatives, which i was okay with. But he phoned me at work today and tells me he has an "opportunity" to go fishing with his buddy for four days, i started to loose it!I told him we don't have the money, he's thinking well then we can go and dip into our savings (which is really very little). He is going away in 4 weeks, and i'm taking our other daughter away in 4 weeks as well, which will have to be covered by my paycheques...we don't use credit cards at all either.
He tells me, it will only cost a couple hundred bucks (2 yrs ago he went it cost over double that!!!). He swears this time it won't though...I'm so friggin hurt...here i am trying to save for everything, trying to juggle the finances (i do all of them, he has no clue to what they are!!!), trying to deal with all my emotions right now where i find myself clinging to him b/c of it all. Here i am thinking, i'm not going to go buy some new work clothes, even though I really need some for summer b/c i'm saving for his trip and my trip...and he phones and says he wants to go away for 4 days!!!
i told him "you know, that thought wouldn't even enter my mind, b/c i know we are going away soon" to top it off, last week on our anniversary he says to me: I think we need to go away for a night, trying to cheer me up as i was quite down, I guess that date is off!!!!
i am soooo upset, hurt and mad right now.
I know if i say no to him, he will resent me for it, and i just don't know what to do when i get home.
any suggestions would realllly help

Have you sat him down and shown him where you guys are finacially? When one spouse handles all bills the other kind of wanders through life with blinders on unless they are included in everything.

After showing him where you guys stand with money maybe then calmly explain how you guys really can't afford it right now. Also be sure not to use "you" a lot because then he will get on the defensive and then you guys will end up in an argument about money. But just show him how you have been cutting corners and how you have even put some of your needs back for now and maybe ask him what his imput is on how you guys can maybe make things easier.

In a marriage everyone helps out and when money is short everyone needs to help keep costs down. Its kind of like trying to save someone that is drowning when your near them they can easily drown you just as fast unless you work together to get back to safety. If that makes sense.

But that is my opinion. I am sure there are better ones out there. I know I would appreciate things being shown and explained to me if I didn't know something.

Fedup,
I understand your hurt and frusteration right now.
You just lost your baby and he wants to go fishing while not meeting the financial obligations.
There are two flip side to this. If you absolutely forbid him, he may resent you and go anyways.
If you say" Do what you need to do and go" He may go and enjoy it to the point of continueing a downward spiral of irresponsibility and just doing what feels good to him at the moment.
Or, he may go and get some male bonding and gain perspective of what is important to him. Hard to say.
You could just say to him that you really need him right now and the cost of the trip seems very selfish, but if you 'have to go', please come back refreshed and a good husband and prepared to do what it takes to get the job done(so to speak).
Wish I had better advice, one thing that I know is that if you forbid a man-he may do exactly what you don't want, yet if you give free reign, he can loose it all.
Let him know that you believe in him either way and he is less likely to choose the wrong thing.