You always mention me but never posts to me. So I guess we feel about the same towards each other.<p>Please do not mention me in your posts unless you refer to me directly.<p>I posted my story a long time ago. H and I have no contact. One of H's OC called him, and H hung up on OC. We do not wish contact at all. [If you want the reasons, I will be glad to tell you.] Your response to me was less than warm.<p>I find that you find a way of blaming everyone else for your situation, instead of yourself.<p>"we" can get pregnant.... Sorry, only a woman can get pregnant.<p>"if my H had met my needs..." It is up to you to communicate those needs to him. <p>"how will you ever heal if you can't move past the hate?" I feel that I am well past the hate. I do not hate OW nor OC's. <p>Because you have contact with OM through OC, good for you. You must be married to a gem. <p>Wishing you well.<p>ember

I mention you because Ahwile back you accused me of toruring my poor husband and other comments and then left and and never answered.. I would assume to stir stuff, <p>
Meeting my needs,
I have beeen saying what my needs were for 18 years, you cant speak of things you dont know about <p> Married to a gem... hhhmmm nope just a human, but I am not torturing my husband Just trying to fix a situation in my life.
sorry if I offended you, but you offended me, by making statements and then disapearing to not listen to the answer.
I did direct those responses to you
I think you r situation you did what you thought was best.. I did what I thought was best.. NO DIFFERENCE.
I wish you well as well<p>[ June 01, 2002: Message edited by: mom of five ]</p>

I BLAME ME FOR MY SITUATION AND OM WE TOOK PART EQUALLY.

mom of five, you say, "I blame me for my situation and OM we took part equally."<p>My H blames himself, not OW. Why do you go on blaming your OM? <p>Your OM should not blame you either. He has to live with what he did, just as you do. He has only himself to blame, just like you have only yourself to blame. You both had choices at that time, and your spouses did not.<p>I'm just trying to understand. <p>ember

ok ember
I will help you understand.
I was just using an example to make it clear that the OW is not the sole blame that is all.
we dont sit around blaming each other, my gosh we were together so many years we arent mad at each other, we are quite pleasant to each other.
we enjoy raising daughter together and will continue to work together to solve any problems that arise.
we dont consider this a huge monumental catastrophy.
it is over done, he loves daughter, I love daughter.. our spouses love daughter...the children love daughter ... life goes on. <p> He and I do not go around fighting over this, why would we ?
when I say I blame me and OM
I mean we are both responsible for concieving a child and we both are responsible for her health and well being. thats all nothing more. he and i dont have any anger over the affair. None at all. <p> and before any one ask... yes every one in my entire family knows this.. he loves all my children not just our daughter. <p> EVERYONE has emotions and sometimes we fuss.. but no more than any parents of a child. <p> He does not blame me.. I do not blame him... we know we we did this and know one else. He is just thrilled he gets to be part of her life. He is also very grateful that I did not listen to him. <p> does this help at all?
have a nice day