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#81854 11/29/98 11:29 AM
Joined: Nov 1998
Posts: 4
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SHANE Offline OP
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Joined: Nov 1998
Posts: 4
Recently my wife chose to cheat on our relationship, approximately 1 month ago. I am in the military, and am stationed in Korea, in a remote location where she couldnt join me. I had been gone about 3 months when this occured, and I have been destroyed. When I left, my marriage was what I thought to be indestructable. We were planning kids, a home purchase, and all that seemed to still be intact until the day I got the call from her, it shattered me. I am a very loving and kind man, and she even tells me how much she loves me still, and how good I was to her. I never became hostile, or overly angry, I simply wanted to know what I could do to make it better, so we could attempt to rebuild what I thougth was perfect. She is telling me that basically she feels she has hurt me to bad, and that she cant live with what she has done. So she is basically giving up on a very loving man and husband, and not giving us a chance to make it better. She has now moved back home with her parents, and they are tempting her with hopes of colege and starting over her life. But what about me, I did nothing wrong, other than be a good husband to her. Now she has messed up, and she isnt giving me or us a chance. If anyone has advice on what I can do, or should do, I would be so greatful. I have such a empty hole in my soul, I fell so helpless. What do I do? shane

#81855 12/05/98 11:59 PM
Joined: Nov 1998
Posts: 27
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Shane,<p>You probably should have posted this under Infedelity. So sorry that no-one has replied to you. I know what it feels like to be alone. I don't know what words of wisdom to give you other than if you love her keep trying. Will you be coming home to her soon? You both should seek a counselor. It sounds as if she is still seeing the other man and that is why she is so willing to give up. What she doesn't realize is that her relationship with him is a fantasy. Have you read all of the information posted on this site. If not you should, and Dr. Harleys book His Needs, Her Needs is great, buy it and read it. Don't give up hope, fight for your relationship with your wife. And keep your head up, I know that it is hard, for I myself fell empty right now, my husband told me about his affair just three weeks ago. Things will get better, just hold on and work on your marriage.


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