Well, ya'll I am finally DONE. I am off for the next 9 days so that I can find a townhouse or small home to rent! Until then, I will be leaving tonight to stay with a few much missed friends or two during my "vacation". I will pack up enough stuff for the weekend for me and my 14 year old son- and off we go for some R&R !! The couple places I'll stay are both long term friends of mine who have boys his age-- my son says okay- "cool"!!

I am feeling strong and confident that I will be fine, I will be happy and secure again with myself! I can no longer find enough love to cover all of these tough, hurtful and messed up situations that my H has brought to my life. I want ME back...

KT started a post about being jealous of the freedom, etc.... that the WS seems to have. I AM TOO! And you know what, I can now have a friend without him being jealous, I can spend money without worrying about his crappy bills and I can pursue all the things I am *dying* to do at this point in my life. Boy I have BIG PLANS!! I am not his mother and I do love him in some ways still, but mostly an attachment/addicion. I just do not have enough paper to soak up his messes anymore. have a good full time job and a pretty decent side business to support me-- and will BETTER OFF financially w/out his irresponsible spending, his traffic TICKETS, car incidents, CHILD SUPPORT PAYMENTS.. attorneys fees!!!

woooooooooooooo
hoooooooooooooo

No more hurt of betrayal STARING me in the face and in my own bed. I can sleep w/my adorable little FAITHFUL dog.

No more OC issues to think of AGAIN!! I hope he DOES knock on OW's door and SHE AND OC would inherit my PROBLEMS!!!!!!!

No more worrying if he will do this again, or if he is doing it now and I'm missing something...

No more checking up.

No more TAKING HIS ACCUSATIONS that I am cheating and him holding me hostage - not letting me have anything or anyone in my life except him, who is making me miserable.

The pain will only lessen with time and I can take deep breaths till I get there.

I AM DOING THIS!

I told him today that if I find a place this week I will be gone immediately. I said if we both were uninvolved and liked each other enough to date, we'd see, but I don't want to be married to him, or anyone else for that matter FOR A LONG TIME!!!!

Okay thanks for letting me SPILL OVER that *I* put my life back into MY HANDS TODAY and CUT OFF THE HANDCUFFS.... I know I *will* feel sad some days to come, but since last night I feel as if I just got baptised.. reborn... set free!!!!!

I have to LET THIS ALL OUT HERE-- cause I have not told people yet- I want to move out first. So you all are the first to know (cept my son)!!!

Then God speed, Giovanna.

Rebuilding a toxic marriage is not what this site is all about...if you know in your heart that it is over and nothing more can be done, we all support your decision. We have had a few here go onto divorce and we have celebrated their new lives.

I wish you every happiness and strength through the tough times to come for you adn your son. It sounds like you have a great support system in place and you are focused and determined on how to attain your goal.

Stay strong, keep the faith and begin anew...and enjoy your new found freedom.

Cat =^^=

Thank you Catnip!

I will definitely need support from any source I can find. I need the support of my friends and family that I did not get through my silence the past year.

It will be so nice to be held and comforted by the people who have not and would not hurt me or betray me. My family is in place, just begging for me to let them help me. I'm gona need it!

If your happy then I'm happy for you! Sounds like you did your best and can walk away with your head held high.

G123,

I am so sorry you feel that you have to chose this path. I know you are not doing this without a lot of prayer & thought over the matter.

God will guide you thru this.

You are in my prayers.

Yes, it IS called Marriage Builders but it should be called Infidelity Survivors! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

If you can come out of this ordeal with your self esteem restored, your dignity intact and looking towards a bright future with OR without your spouse, knowing you gave it your best shot,,you ARE a SUCCESS!!

I'm wishing you the very best and stick around,,we STILL need you to help others find their way through this! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

I can completely understand how you are feeling. Like you, I have chosen to get move towards a divorce. In fact mine will be final June 17. Since I learned of the affair, we can no longer talk, I feel no love towards him and do not want to deal with issues of another child for the remainder of my life. Mine WS refuses to give up contact with lover due to the child (how has not been born). I don't buy that as a reason.

My children seen happier with him out of the house.

I do have periods of confusion as to whether I am doing the right thing. There are times when I do feel lonely. Don't really know if I am missing him or a presence of a husband. My counselor told me he hasn't provided financial, spirtual or emotional support to me for years. I have been the sole support of our two children for five years.

I am looking forward to move ahead without the emotional trauma I feel he has placed me in.

Good luck.