Okay. Today was the CS hearing and I decided not to go (which probably was a good thing). Anyway, the hearing went in our favor (my H recently started a business and it has not been busting down the door with income). The end result was he only has to pay $77 a month. The OW makes more than him so he was only obligated to 19% of the care of the child. My H had called me a couple of times during the hearing to ask questions about insurance and other pymts made that utimately reduced his eligible income. My H told me that when the OW saw what he owed she was Pissed. Anyway, I was feeling relieved that it was not a financial hardship and that we could move past this initial phase. Well it now turns ugly.

After I got off the phone with him, I get a call at work from guess who....the OW. My dumb [censored] H called me from her cell phone at the hearing so she redialed the number to see who he called and the our conversation went something like this:

OW: This is xxx baby's mama.
Me: Okay
OW: Did you do H's check stubs
Me: No, employer did (he owns a franchise)
OW: Well, why was he calling you w/questions and why do you know so much.
Me: I'm his wife and involved. Are you mad about the $77
OW: You damn right
Me: Well I guess you should have picked you baby daddy more carefully.

Well from there it goes down hill. She goes on to cus me out and tell me she has been in my house and Fxxxed my H there. That she had got pregnant before me (but had an abortion). That she still with H....etc. I couldn't say everything I wanted because I was at work. But I did tell her she was gutter trash and a slut with 4 kids by 3 different men. I told her I didn't care about what she supposedly did or didn't do w/ my H. To which she constantly said how stupid I was.

What gets me is that she was boasting on how she Fxxxed my H. I thought about it later like....she is proudly proclaiming to God that she is an adulter and forget the 10 commandments. I have NEVER had C with the OW (even though I have her phone #), so I don't understand all the animosity she had towards me. Why would an OW want to intentionally hurt another Woman that she doesn't know. What is she getting out of this??? I've heard about people in this situation but never thought it would happen to me....Go Figure.

Needless to say, I told my H that he is to have ZERO contact with her from now on. We have already changed his cell phone and will consult a lawyer to establish V (when I'm ready) without ever seeing her. She crossed a line that has stained this situation forever. I thought maybe I could try and accept the OC in my family...now I don't know. She is such a stupid broad!!!

Sorry for the long post.

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

wah wah wah-----time for OW to call the WAhmbulance!!!!! wah wah wah!

Can't say I'm really surprised though. I am sorry you had to hear all that kind of crap. That's a perfect example of how things go from bad to worse in these kinds of situations.

Just another fine example of typical, typical, typical CRAP spewed from the mouth of an angry OW!

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Forget 'bout her. She is nothing to you & never will be! Someday this will all be a distant memory of a dark time in your marriage. And by that time you & H will have plenty of years of lovin' to have helped you through it.

You should contact your attorney so that you can be sure that OW NEVER contacts you @ your place of business ever again. AND if OW ever does have the nerve to call you again----don't even sweat it-just hang up--that will get her going.
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JFTR: there's an unwritten script that seems to go along w/ these things-----if you & H ever decide for C---you can bet that 'this' little conversation you had will come back to haunt you. OW will say how she was calling all nice to ask a question about H pay or soemthing & spin it how rude you were & she doesn't want you around her baby because you might harm her innocent baby. More wah wah wah!

That my dear is what we call a STOW & that my dear is the reason WHY!

Hope you have a good day knowing there is some form of justice sometimes! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> (& revel in the fact that it was ALL done LEGALLY!!!!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> )

Okay so it bothers me that he used her phone.... um... why ? If my H used OW's phone I'd take his ear and burn if off. LOL..

Okay,now onto the serious part. This conversation is EXACTLY why - to anyone out there reading TR's story - YOU SHOULD NOT CONTACT or ENGAGE IN ANY CONVERSATIONS W/OW. This is their award winning move.. they are INFAMOUS for trying to hurt the BS and tell you that they are still screwing him... that you are stupid... to anger you and hurt you. Their number one goal IS THE MAKE YOU GET OFF THE PHONE..and proceed to fight and mame your H ... for her words to stick with you KNOWING you are going to fight w/H about it or maybe leave him, etc. So typical.

Do not simply believe her or give her what she wants (huge blowout w/hubby over her words)... But TR, as I said,why was he using her cell? And are your SURE she is not lying, because the other explaination of OW saying this is that 50% of the time it is not just lies-- its true. Sorry to say that but how sure are you.

I used to wonder how anyone could be so sick as to want to hurt US?? THIS IS OUR Gawddarn husband and YOU are mad AT ME????? Well, they want our H and cannot accept that 9 times out of 10 they are and were used by H during a hard time with you, and will now not even be second choice-they are left in the cold and forgotten by H. So of course she hates you and wants to hurt you.

I had ONE short conversation w/OW in my case last year and the FIRST words out of her mouth were "shut up and put XXX on the phone- I'll beat your a**" ha!! I said she was a real monster/WACK JOB to want to kick the a** of the wife whose HUSBAND you were screwing? They are jealous, period.

Take care and I hope and pray that she was just being a nasty person, not spilling real beans.. I also hope she leaves you and your family alone - she is angry and we know how they get... NC is SURELY going to have to be the case for some time. Otherwise, your M is in for another ride of a lifetime. Take care of YOUR BABY AND YOUR FAMILY.. they need you to be sane and not riddled w/problems from OW/OC.

Okay so it bothers me that he used her phone.... um... why ? If my H used OW's phone I'd take his ear and burn if off. LOL..

Okay,now onto the serious part. This conversation is EXACTLY why - to anyone out there reading TR's story - YOU SHOULD NOT CONTACT or ENGAGE IN ANY CONVERSATIONS W/OW. This is their award winning move.. they are INFAMOUS for trying to hurt the BS and tell you that they are still screwing him... that you are stupid... to anger you and hurt you. Their number one goal IS THE MAKE YOU GET OFF THE PHONE..and proceed to fight and mame your H ... for her words to stick with you KNOWING you are going to fight w/H about it or maybe leave him, etc. So typical.

Do not simply believe her or give her what she wants (huge blowout w/hubby over her words)... But TR, as I said,why was he using her cell? And are your SURE she is not lying, because the other explaination of OW saying this is that 50% of the time it is not just lies-- its true. Sorry to say that but how sure are you.

I used to wonder how anyone could be so sick as to want to hurt US?? THIS IS OUR Gawddarn husband and YOU are mad AT ME????? Well, they want our H and cannot accept that 9 times out of 10 they are and were used by H during a hard time with you, and will now not even be second choice-they are left in the cold and forgotten by H. So of course she hates you and wants to hurt you.

I had ONE short conversation w/OW in my case last year and the FIRST words out of her mouth were "shut up and put XXX on the phone- I'll beat your a**" ha!! I said she was a real monster/WACK JOB to want to kick the a** of the wife whose HUSBAND you were screwing? They are jealous, period.

Take care and I hope and pray that she was just being a nasty person, not spilling real beans.. I also hope she leaves you and your family alone - she is angry and we know how they get... NC is SURELY going to have to be the case for some time. Otherwise, your M is in for another ride of a lifetime. Take care of YOUR BABY AND YOUR FAMILY.. they need you to be sane and not riddled w/problems from OW/OC.

good going, I'm glad u got out of this court stuff relatively unscathed. I am soo scared about when this happens to me, we are under the poverty level with 3 children of our own. Saying I'm scared doesn't even define it, we are that bad off.

How does your h feel about nc and putting your foot down? Was he sorry about using your phone and that becouse of him she called you at work? I don't know why people are like that. It is so sad when people lack even basic morals and are so filled with hate.

With nc thinks might be a little harder with visitation at first but I can imagine it would be a huge stress reliever for you both and your m. I know that phone call might of been bad but that don't let her or anything get you down becouse things are looking better. I'm happy for you.

The OW in our case thought she had struck gold with dear old dad. I don't know all the specifics but because of something having to do with the state guidelines there was a limit to how much she could get. No where near what she had in mind. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

They are changing the C/s guidelines and if anyone hasn't been in a while maybe they should check. Womens lib is catching up w/ us! We want to work, we want to play, and then we want all of the money from dear ole daddy, well not anymore! Even as we are accused of running and filing for seperation and cs first, well thats over too. First children are that FIRST! TR congrads!!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> And I dont get the him using her phone. ? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> Whats up w/ that?
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" /> Sunny D

Using her phone was the stupidest thing for him to do....he clearly was not thinking but needed to answer the administrator's question and did not know the answer.

Anyway, I am not sure how I feel about her so called revelations. First, the statement that she is still w/ him I definitely do not believe. I asked her if she still w/him, why is she so pressed about he $77 dollars, shouldn't he be giving her money (which she said he was). So I am like why are you so upset if he is giving you money??? Plus, a couple of weeks ago she texted him saying that he was acting like she is nonexistent (which I read myself). About the statement that she was in my house....I don't know. I asked H and he swore to God that she has never been in our house. Supposedly the A ended in Feb-03. He told me about it in Apr-04. I feel why even tell me (I had no clue) if he was going to continue it. He has been very open about things since telling me. However, it would truly hurt if it were true about her being in my home....I would hope he would not stoop that low. But there is nothing I can do about that but pray on it. H and I did not have a big blowout agrument. He was extremely upset about her calling me. He called her after I told him, but she continued to spat stupidities. She actually had the nerve to get mad at him because she thought he gave me her phone #....she is sooo stupid.

I am kind of happy this happened, because H thought OW was on the up and up. I have always had my reservations. Now he can she her for what she really is. Also, with NC I don't have to worry about what they might be talking about. V won't start for a while because I am not ready to be around OC. When it does, I definitely will make sure its with minimal C with OW.

Smurf - I hope and pray that your CS hearing works out in your favor. Just pray for the best outcome considering your income. I believe God will deliver. You will be in my thoughts & prayers....let me know the outcome.

TR,

I am concerned about a couple things. I just re-read a few of your other threads to make sure of some things.

I think I would do something to find out if H is still involved w/ow - still finding a way to lie. A lot of things are red flags in your posts... not just today's words from OW. I was already bothered by your posts- thinking the worst.

Please, I hate to be so dismal :-(
But please do some hard-core snooping and detective work, and quick to make sure whats going on honey.

(hugs)
Gio

I'm with giovanni, some things don't sound right, I think you are giving him way too much freedom with calling the OW and all that stuff, u said now u don't have to worry about what they say to eachother with nc. I don't get why you even let him call her without you there. It sounds like how my husband was in the beginning, he was very confused, he hardly knew between right and wrong, he was very weak. He thought he could still be freinds with her and keep our marriage. It's like smack him over the head and ask him what the hell he is thinking. lol I did the same thing you did though and thought this is the babies mom, she is in our lives blahh blahh blahh.

The thing is this woman held the power in her hands to not make her part of the reasonb your marriage got destroyed, and she went with free abandonment and joy to destroy your marriage. You must treat her like the enemy, and since your husband doesn't know better and is guided by misconceptions you need to lay ground rules. He knows no better! lol

I'm not saying to hate her or treat her terribly, but treat her like a strange dog, keep your family away from her. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

One thing I am planning on doing is giving H a lie detector test. I trust him now and everything but I just need that added layer of security.

Thank you for your prayers. I think I might very well need em. I wish it would be over with instead of this long wait, she didn't go through the courts but the federal CS service, they don't even have any of his info, and hubby is allowing it to run it's court. It's just looming fear over my head, he is gonna have to owe a ton of back support. Hopefully the court summons will be soon after we get our tax return.

I personally found out via cell (duh) that H had one last 25 min phone call w/OW after our NC call to her.. it was the next day and he said he had to answer the phone cause she kept calling over and over, etc...

and then

I didn't care- I threw his phone into pieces, FREAKED OUT and said he told me he would NEVER TALK TO HER FOR ANY REASON FROM HERE ON IN till DNA was done. He broke the promise, no matter how much that 1/2 hour conversation was fighting and him telling her not to call ever again, etc. etc....

JUST imagining that he talked to her EVER without me there, MAKES my blood boil. STAND YOUR GROUND TR- NO CONTACT, EVER till DNA is done, period. He is still at least emotionally involved it seems. I pray not, but I suspect heavily reading all of your posts- and the post about the text messaging, etc. etc...

keep in touch -get some investigative tips around here- there's a lot to be found.