A friend gave me a copy of this today. Sounds like a great realization.<P><BR>ATTITUDE<P>The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude to me, is more important then the facts, the past, education, money, circumstances, failures, successes, and what other people think, say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill. It will make or break a company, church, or a home. The remarkable thing is, we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past, we can not change the fact that people will act in a certain way, we cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can change is our attitude.<P>Rev. Charlie J. Marsh, Longboat Island Chapel, Longboat Key, Florida<BR>

Thanks for sharing that Tim. I remember hearing about changing attitudes back when I was in treatment for drug addiction. I thought I kind-of knew what they meant, but what was an "attitude" anyway, and how do you go about changing it.<P>It was said that our addiction was a habit in the way we behave, and that our attitudes are habits in the way we think. Our destructive thinking can reinforce our compulsive behavior, and we're going to have to make that attitude adjustment if we're going to find lasting recovery.<P>So really I learned to change the way I thought about life like you change any bad habit. When the bad thoughts would come, I'd quickly replace them with a positive thought. I started by develloping an "attitude of gratitude" this is that no matter what I face, I'm grateful to be alive today.<P>I'm also grateful to have gone through such a rough time 14 years ago, it helps me to see that despite my Ws betrayal, I'm happy to be alive, and to have a marriage to try to save.<BR>Dave

Dave,<P>Thanks for your thoughts. My friend and I are both recovering alcholics, so the attitude adjustment is definately something I get from my recovery. It is interesting how concepts learned in recovery apply to life in general. Good job with your recovery and much strength and patience in your marriage also.<P>Tim

First congrats for conquering your addictions. Keep up the fight.<P>2nd I liked the article & liked both of your comments, they both hit home. I know that I still need to do things to improve myself to help my marriage but my WH has an addiction to the OW. If he would realize that some of the problems he has with me, is he not I. I mean his attitude & his angry with me. He has used me as the scapegoat in this mess with his general unhappiness with his life.<P>Thanks again guys. I copied your post, put in my save fwd. file.<BR>