Just want to know of any success stories so far and who you are so I can go through and be encouraged by your posts.<P>Dancer

ME<P>Working on being a sucess anyhow with H home for 2 months now.<P>For real inspiration look up posts by Lostva.<P>Lora

count me in on this.<BR>One year in recovery. Things have never been this good.

Me, too! Me, too! <P>There IS another side to this mess and it's more than worth the work!<P>Hang in there!<P>Lori

Us too!!!<P>Lostva is right, it's worth the work.<P>My husband's name on here is SeenTheLight so you can look for his posts too. <P>Z<P>------------------<BR>He loves not who does not show love.<BR>----William Shakespeare

I am 4 mo past d-day ( valentines day). In recovery with my H who had an A with a single coworker who was determined to get him to divorce me and marry her. She was jealous of my new house, my 3 kids, my lifestyle my H- everything that took me 15 ys to achieve. My H was in a VERY deep fog, midlife crisis and depression and told me he was leaving me for her- he moved out for 2 mo to live with OW and even filed for D on me- yet despite this we are back together in counseling and OW has moved away.So keep the faith! Mine was MESSY! lifeismessy

Us! <P>------------------<BR>Prayers, Hugs, and Strength from both of us. Things do and can get better. Keep hoping, learning, and growing. Take care of yourself.<P>[H] and Knewjie

Although I really doubted it 3 years ago, we made it. H was in DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEp fog/obsession, madly in love with OW, and I was devastated. (H felt all the typical things... Wasn't in love with me, loved her, wanted to spend his life with her, only she could make him happy, blah, blah, blah...) He tried to leave me for her and only her backing out prevented him from leaving. I plan A'ed my little butt off, she made classic OW mistakes, and we are happy now. Tonight, we just got back from a date where we laughed, talked, held hands...wonderful night. Things are so good sometimes I have to pinch myself.<P>It can be done... You've got to have good counseling, a lot of prayer, and develop a plan and stick to it. The MB method worked for us. I don't forget the pain we went through to get here, and I still ache a little to think of the betrayal, but it gets better. A restored marriage can have a lot of joy.

US to, you can count me and H in the recovered and recovering group. This for us have change 30000% and still strong. I have never felt so loved and cherished, had every need meet, and want to reciprocate in kind. It can be done, time does make it easier, and concentration finding and fixing the problems is a must. It is easy to blame and hate the OP. but there had to be cracks in the foundation somewhere. AND if you can, realize that EVERYTHING has a blessing, you just have to look and see it.<BR>Maine<P>------------------<BR>IN the words of BOB the BUILDER!!" WE can fix it, yes we can!!!"

My H (WS) and I are in recovery now too. It has only been one month or so since he has been home, but things are starting to improve. There are still snags of course, primarily, my discovery the other day (on our 4th wedding anniversary) that there is still limited phone and email contact with OW #1 (all of the others are finally out of the picture). However, after doling out the ultimatum yet again (me and the kids or her), he wants us. Now the tricky part is to stand by him during this difficult time of 'getting over' her (YUCK!).<P>Karen<BR>

Let me provide a different sort of success story. No, we're not in recovery and I am doubtful we ever will be. But, I'm feeling terrific!! Sure, I'd like to have my family back together and I am still working toward that goal - why else would I be here?<P>Well, in the meantime, I've grown tremendously, I have a better relationship with my son, and I feel good about what I've been trying to do. I have garnered tremendous respect from co-workers, family (including my wife's) and others who know my story. No matter what happens, I will know I've done my best and I will have no guilt. Simply stated, success is now guaranteed for me - it's a win-win situation.<P>Believe me, a year ago when I was on the infidelity diet, losing 25 pounds (over 11 kg), and feeling like my world had collapsed, I never could imagine I'd be where I am now. I don't know how the story will completely end, but I am now certain, it was all...<P>...worthatry

2 years and 3 months and going strong. Our marriage has never been better!<BR>

Add me/us to the list! It's been 21 months since d-day and I just don't think I could feel much better about the marriage we have now! I'm did not follow the traditional MBers philosophy but used a mix of MBers and Dobson and got great results.

I wanted to jump in on this one!<P>RECOVERY is the word here! It is safe to say we are doing GREAT-although I am one of the too few lucky ones here at MB. MY H never left me and was never in a fog.<P>D-Day for me was 6-01-99 when H confessed to me what I didn't even have a clue about. <P>Life has been rough for me. The A was between the msot important person in my life and my best friend. It lasted for 21 months-almost a full 2 years before he told me what had gone on.<P>I have been off and back on Paxil 4 times now. I can't seem to get off of it without falling in to a deep depression.<P>The good side of all this is that H knows what and who he wants-and it just so happens to be ME.<P>So OW-if you come by and see this-KISS THIS!!!!<P><P>------------------<BR>*heartache*<P>"Life's A Dance<BR>You Learn As You Go.<BR>Sometimes You Lead<BR>Sometimes You Follow!<BR>Don't worry 'Bout What You Don't Know<BR>LIfe's A Dance <BR>You Learn As You Go."

Success is not necessarily the same as reconciliation...<P>I am divorced now...<BR>...and by following the MB concepts and principles...<BR>...I <B>am</B> a sucess story.<P>All to many get discourage by the lack of reconciliation...<P>...improved relationships with...<BR>...God...<BR>...children...<BR>...family...<BR>...friends...<BR>...neighbors...<BR>...and even complete strangers...<P>CAN BE whee providence leads you...<BR>...by Plan A-ing... Plan B-ing... and learning the skills applied to everyone in your life.<P> <P>Jim

It is very encouraging to have read these success stories. Thanks for posting the question!

add us to that list.<BR>Our story is scattered throughout this website, but we are now a year into recovery. A road well worth traveling.<P>------------------<BR>Cat<P>catfrommb@yahoo.com<P>We're only human, baby<BR>We walk on broken ground<BR>We lose our way<BR>We come unwound<BR>We'll turn in circles, baby<BR>We're never satisfied<BR>We'll fall from grace<BR>Forget we can fly<BR>But through all the tears that we cried<BR>We'll survive<P>Cause when we're torn apart<BR>Shattered and scarred<BR>Love has the grace to save us<P>Sara Evans-- Born to Fly

Add in Guard and I to successful reconciliation. His affair 3 years ago, 7 separations, and back together over a year now. Sometimes I can't believe we made it through, other times it seems like it never happened . I've got thousands of posts, my H posted briefly Feb & Mar 2000 and people, like NSR/Jim & Lostva/Lori & many others were very supportive of his efforts to come back to our marriage. I had given up at that time and he did not like what I was posting (and that goes with your other thread, remember if the spouse comes here and you haven't done any deleting, they can read it all).<P>Anyway, we are doing very good. Yesterday worked a softball tournamet, our kid was done at 11 am, we had jobs until 5 pm! And on the way home I told him he was a wonderful Dad. He told me I am a wonderful Mom, then said, "d'ya suppose the kids know how much we love them? We've shown them a lot of love this weekend." The man's Language of Love (book by Chapman THE FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES--a nice addition to Harley's HIS NEEDS HER NEEDS) is service...his dragging & raking the fields all day was pure outgoing love to his kids.<P>I think we've learned a lot about each other through this process...I wish we had begun taking this good care of each other, long ago.<P>------------------<BR>Lor<BR>"Whatever is true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, gracious...think about these things." Phil 4:8

Put me on the recovering list. Me and W are making strides and honestly, my marriage (although not fully recovered) is already more rewarding and loving than before. It's just so pathetic it takes the devestating act of an A to do this. If only couples, even the ones that don't think they have a problem, could be privy to this information. <P>I don't think my W browses here anymore but I'd like to proclaim outloud....I LOVE YOU! I'm in a great mood today. <P>I was fortunate enough to find this site and these wonderful human beings to help me through this<P>((((ENTIRE MB FAMILY)))))<P><P>------------------<BR>...Keeping a stiff upper lip<BR>-Scarlet Pumpernickle<BR>s_pumpernickle@yahoo.com

Just over a year past dday #1, 4 1/2 months past dday #2 (yes, there were 2 OW over a period of 4 years....I was blindsided), and we <B>are</B> making it. I won't sugar-coat it....it has been hard and we have both had many doubts along the way. But every day, H seems to be better able to express his feelings and offer the affirmation that I have craved, and my emotions are becoming much more stable. Just yesterday, he wrote me a note saying how he sees how God brought/kept us together, and how much he is looking forward to a long, happy future. Yes, we are a "success story." <P>Good luck to you "beginners." This place is a tremendous source of support and encouragement. And our awesome God himself will carry you through! <P>(My H posted once, on Valentine's Day, as Repentant, on In Recovery. It was very touching, if you'd like to look for it.)<P>------------------<BR>"Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." 1 Corinthians 13:7<p>[This message has been edited by Persevering (edited June 25, 2001).]