This man just amazes me. He's like Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde.<BR>After the whole deal where I LB'd......I forgot to mention that he called me back about a half hour later and apologized for being angry and hatelful....but not for what he said.<P>He called me from work yesterday and was as nice as could be. He told me that he had recieved the check from his 401K and asked me what needed to be paid. I told him what needed to be paid and that I needed grocery money also.<BR>To my complete amazment.....he offered to pay alot more than I thought he would...and give me grocery money.....which pretty much wipes out all that money except for about $100. Even if I would have asked for half...which legally is mine....I would have used it to pay bills anyway.<BR>Usually when he calls from work he doesn't talk to me long...less than 5 minutes...but lately we talk longer and longer...whether he's at work or not.<BR>He called again later last night to talk to the girls and once again....was nice as could be....and even surprised me again with things he said.<BR>We were in the middle of a conversation and he just all the sudden asked......so who has asked you out? I said....nobody you know....I don't want to go out with anyone anyway. He said.....well....like who....and I named one name....he didn't know him.<BR>Then he wanted to know where I was and said.....he just walked up and asked you out.....I said yes.....is there any other way it's done? We were joking around the whole time....keeping it light.<BR>After that I told him that I had my new cell phone......his suggestion...and he said he would pay for it and reimburse me for the cost of the phone. I asked him if he wanted my # and he said yes....let me find something to write on. While he was looking he said......so....you want me to have the # so I can call and sexually harrass you? (joking)<BR>At this point I'm thinking.....how the heck do I deal with this guy......says he can't stand me.....but talks to me like that....and wants to know what I'm doing all the time.<P>As we were getting ready to get off the phone he reminded me about a list he wants me to make out.......for the D...since he wants an uncontested divorce. I said....well....if I remember I will make one out. He started joking around again.....about me only remembering things I want to remember.<P>Well...that's it in a nutshell......this man is so confusing. I wish the mothership would beam my old H down so I could have him back.<P>

Is this normal.....being nice one mintute and a complete A**hole the next?<P>And.....why the heck is he so interested in what I'm doing?<P>I just want to tell him sometimes that he is the one that threw me away so he doesn't have a right to know what I'm doing.....but then again....I don't have anything to hide.<P>A comment that he made really made me laugh.<BR>You know Heather.......if you are dating you don't have to lie to me about it.<P>Had to really laugh at that one.

I'd say your H is acting normal.. as far as normal is when in the fog.<P>You've already realized that he wants the D in order to lift the guilt of seeing the OW. IMO, he's trying to sweet talk you into it. Don't fall for it. If you don't want to make that list, then don't. But don't tell him it's because you 'forgot'. Tell him the truth, that you don't want to, because you want him back in the home working on your marriage.<P>You're standing tall and strong. He's seeing that. He's trying to break you. Do NOT let him!!! IMO, he's still testing you for your reactions. Show him what you've learned, and keep your head held high girl!!!<P>Karen<BR>

OK....here's another one.<P>IF he does file for divorce.....I'm kinda stuck on what to do. I could just not sign the papers but eventually a judge will force a divorce and I will have to accept it on H's terms of his papers.......OR I can contest it...which will probably make him very angry...and very broke...lol......so either way I go I feel stuck.<P>It seems like either way I go I make him mad.<P>He actually said to me on the phone the other night that I was humiliating myself by fighting for someone that doesn't want to be faught for.<BR>Hmmmm......wonder where he gets that......since I haven't really said anything about him coming home or being with us.....in about 2 weeks now....I haven't shown any signs of fighting for him at all....that I know of.<BR>I pretty much am showing him that I'm willing to go my own way....if that's what he wants......which I don't think he even knows himself.<P>He did tell me though some of the reasons he didn't think it would work out....and why it didn't work out.<BR>He said that I always wanted to know where he was....was always asking him questions.....nagging.<BR>He doesn't think I will change......obviously hasn't noticed that I haven't "nagged" him or asked questions or asked where he's been in a very long time.<BR>Funny how they don't see that.<BR>Funny again how it turns out that he is always asking me where I am...what I was doing....who I was with....and all that.<BR>Seems the tables are turning maybe?<BR>I just want all this to be over......either get on with a divorce or have him here at home working on us....100%<P>This is not a game to me anymore....this is my life....and I'm ready to get on with it.

Miss Priss it seems as though your H and my H share the same brain,Moose brain that is! I get the same stuff from my H with the questions. Earlier this week I went to lunch with one of the girls in my office we were on our way back and he passed me on the road (I didn't see him) my cell rang and it was him wanting to know who was in the car w/me! Can you believe that! He doesn't want to come home and work on our marriage but he wants to know where i am and who I'm with. That really makes me angry. I really think it's a control thing. My H is definitely trying to break me. I have made up my mind about the no contact so far I have not called him today and he has not called me. I hope and pray that I can be strong. I really do want to move on for myself and my children. You go girl do what you need to do!! <BR>Cybil