Maybe I shouldn't post this.. I don't want to trigger anyones feelings.. but I thought some of them were funny.. but some of them were triggers also.. so read at your risk, then answer the question I have at the end. <P>If something here bothers you, makes you smile .. maybe this is a way to get something out that you haven't been able to talk about. Anyhow.<P>101 Things NOT To Say During Sex<P>1. But everybody looks funny naked! <BR>2. You woke me up for that? <BR>3. Did I mention the video camera? <BR>4. Do you smell something burning? <BR>5. (In a janitor's closet) And they say romance is dead... <BR>6. Try breathing through your nose. <BR>7. A little rug burn never hurt anyone! <BR>8. Is that a Medic-Alert Pendant? <BR>9. Sweetheart, did you lock the back door? <BR>10. But whipped cream makes me break out. <BR>11. Person 1: This is your first time... right? Person 2: Yeah... today. <BR>12. Hurry up! This room rents by the hour! <BR>13. Can you please pass me the remote control? <BR>14. Do you accept Visa? <BR>15. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ <BR>16. On second thought, let's turn off the lights. <BR>17. And to think -- I was really trying to pick up your friend! <BR>18. So much for mouth-to-mouth. <BR>19. (Using body paint) Try not to leave any stains, okay? <BR>20. Hope you're as good looking when I'm sober... <BR>21. (Holding a banana) It's just a little trick I learned at the zoo! <BR>22. Do you get any premium movie channels? <BR>23. Try not to smear my make-up, will ya! <BR>24. (Preparing to incorporate peanut butter) But I just steam-cleaned this couch! <BR>25. Got any penicillin? <BR>26. But I just brushed my teeth... <BR>27. Smile, you're on Candid Camera! <BR>28. I thought you had the keys to the handcuffs! <BR>29. I want a baby! <BR>30. So much for the fulfillment of sexual fantasies! <BR>31. (In a menage a trois) Why am I doing all the work? <BR>32. Maybe we should call Dr. Ruth... <BR>33. Did you know the ceiling needs painting? <BR>34. I think you have it on backwards. <BR>35. When is this supposed to feel good? <BR>36. Put that blender back in the kitchen where it belongs! <BR>37. You're good enough to do this for a living! <BR>38. Is that blood on the headboard? <BR>39. Did I remember to take my pill? <BR>40. Are you sure I don't know you from somewhere? <BR>41. I wish we got the Playboy channel... <BR>42. That leak better be from the waterbed! <BR>43. I told you it wouldn't work without batteries! <BR>44. But my cat always sleeps on that pillow.. <BR>45. Did I tell you my Aunt Martha died in this bed? <BR>46. If you quit smoking you might have more endurance. <BR>47. No, really... I do this part better myself! <BR>48. It's nice being in bed with a woman I don't have to inflate! <BR>49. This would be more fun with a few more people. <BR>50. You're almost as good as my ex! <BR>51. Do you know the definition of statutory rape? <BR>52. Is that you I smell or is it your mattress stuffed with rotten potatoes? <BR>53. You look younger than you feel. <BR>54. Perhaps you're just out of practice. <BR>55. You sweat more than a galloping stallion! <BR>56. They're not cracker crumbs, it's just a rash. <BR>57. Now I know why he/she dumped you... <BR>58. Does your husband own a sawed-off shotgun? <BR>59. You give me reason to conclude that foreplay is overrated. <BR>60. What tampon? <BR>61. Have you ever considered liposuction? <BR>62. And to think, I didn't even have to buy you dinner! <BR>63. What are you planning to make for breakfast? <BR>64. I have a confession... <BR>65. I was so horny tonight I would have taken a duck home! <BR>66. Are those real or am I just behind the times? <BR>67. Were you by any chance repressed as a child? <BR>68. Is that a hanging sculpture? <BR>69. You'll still vote for me, won't you? <BR>70. Did I mention my transsexual operation? <BR>71. I really hate women who actually think sex means something! <BR>72. Did you come yet, dear? <BR>73. I'll tell you who I'm fanatasizing about if you tell me who you're fantasizing about... <BR>74. A good plastic surgeon can take care of that in no time! <BR>75. Does this count as a date? <BR>76. Oprah Winfrey had a show about men like you! <BR>77. Hic! I need another beer for this please. <BR>78. I think biting is romantic -- don't you? <BR>79. You can cook, too right? <BR>80. When would you like to meet my parents? <BR>81. Man: Maybe it would help if I thought about someone I really like... Woman: Yourself? <BR>82. Have you seen ''Fatal Attraction''? <BR>83. Sorry about the name tags, I'm not very good with names. <BR>84. Don't mind me.. I always file my nails in bed. <BR>85. (In a phone booth) Do you mind if I make a few phone calls? <BR>86. I hope I didn't forget to turn the gas oven off. Do you have a light? <BR>87. Don't worry, my dog's really friendly for a Doberman. <BR>88. Sorry but I don't do toes! <BR>89. You could at least ACT like you're enjoying it! <BR>90. Petroleum jelly or no petroleum jelly, I said NO! <BR>91. Keep it down, my mother is a light sleeper... <BR>92. I'll bet you didn't know I work for ''The Enquirer''. <BR>93. So that's why they call you Mr. Flash! <BR>94. My old girlfriend used to do it a LOT longer! <BR>95. Is this a sin too? <BR>96. I've slept with more women than Wilt Chamberlain! <BR>97. Hey, when is it going to be my friend's turn? <BR>98. Long kisses clog my sinuses... <BR>99. Please understand that I'm only doing this for a raise... <BR>100. How long do you plan to be ''almost there''? <BR>101. You mean you're NOT my blind date? <P>*****<P>Now the test... did you make it through it without a trigger going off?<P>Which one and why is it a trigger for you?<P>------------------<BR>Semper,<P>Husband2You<BR>*****<BR>Don't make me promises <BR>Baby you never did know how to keep them well <BR>I've had the rest of you <BR>Now I want the best of you <BR>It's time for show and tell<P>'All or Nothing' O-Town<p>[This message has been edited by Husband2you (edited August 09, 2001).]

H2Y:<P>I can see where some of these might be triggers. But as for me ... ROTFLMAO!<P>Godspeed,<BR>STL

ROFLMAO!<P>#70 was a trigger for me! Reminded me of a joke.....<P>After making passionate love to his new girlfriend for the first time, a young man reached for a cigarette. He couldn't find his lighter, so he asked his girlfriend if she had one.<P>"I think there's a book of matches in the top drawer of my dresser." she replied.<P>The young man looked in the drawer, and sure enough, a book of matches lay on top of a framed picture of a handsome man. Suddenly feeling uneasy, the young man asked his girlfriend, "Hey, you aren't married, are you?"<P>"Of course not!" she murmurred, while snuggling close to him.<P>"Well, then, do you already have a boyfriend?"<P>"Don't be silly, sweetheart!" she exclaimed, as she nibbled on his ear.<P>"Well, then, who is the guy in the picture that's in the drawer?"<P>"Oh, baby, that's just me....before the operation!"