Ok.....WH comes over tonight to trade me vehicles.<BR>He plays with the girls for a while and then I walk him out to the truck.<P><BR>I look at him while we are talking....and he looks like he's going to start crying....and guess what?<BR>He did....he started crying....saying it was all about the girls. I said....<WH> I know for a fact it's about more than that....who knows you better than anybody? He looked at me and said.....you.<BR>I said....look me in the face and tell me that you don't have any feelings for me at all. He looked at me and shook his head no...and said....I can't say it....I don't know.<BR>I said....don't you want it to get easier....he said no. I'm not sure what he meant by that.<P>He's been like this ever since he found out about my trip to St. Louis.....he keeps telling me that he doesn't want me to go....because he has a bad feeling that something will happen to me....and he's serious. I can see it in his eyes.<P>I'm still going though....I need this....for me.<P>I remember 2 things he said to me today about the OW. One was that he was beginning to wonder about believing everything that she says....one was that he didn't agree with her keeping her kids from her husband....and the other was that it looks like she will walk all over anyone to get what she wants.<BR>He knows now that I don't say these things to make her look bad....he knows that I say them because this is what I see.<P>I felt so bad for him tonight......he was so sad looking.<BR>Our oldest daughter came outside while we were talking and he put his sunglasses on so she couldn't see him crying.....I took them off of him and said.....she needs to see this <WH> so she knows that you care....crying isn't a weakness....it's an emotion....it's showing that you have them. He said he needed to go and be by himself...I was reluctant to let him go....but he said he would call me later so that I knew he was ok so I agreed to let him go.<P>Now all he says is....he doesn't know what he wants. He doesn't know if he wants her....wants me....sure he wants the kids.....but doesn't know what else he wants. I told him to quit torturing himself and take a weekend....or a week....and go be by himself and try to figure out what he wanted.<P>Why did all this just happen when he found out that I was going to do something for me....something that I wanted to do?<BR>

hey its exactly what is supposed to happen Miss Priss. <P>See you stopped pulling him towards you, started livving your own life, stopped begging him for every little crumb of attention and he sees you possibly moving away from him and he is paniced. He wants you in that safe place... wanting him more than he wants you. He wants to be sure you are pining away for him while he takes his time deceiding.<P>Keep doing what you are doing. <BR>Lora

Hi Miss Priss:<P>I agree with Lora...this is exactly how my WH acted when he was in his conflicted state about being with OW and not with his family. Forces are tugging at him from both sides...and he wants everything to stay status quo...and neither of you rock the boat....cause he doesn't know how to swim in these waters.<P>Concentrating on yourself has the advantage of shifting the focus and pointing out what the A will cost him in the long run if he choses to stay with OW...that you and his family will move on without him. I believe very few WH ever truly face this possibility....the fog's too thick...so in a way you are forcing him to face it.<P>Keep up the good work...just be prepared for the hard work that is going to follow.<P>Faye<P>