The problem with my marriage started about 6 years ago, I was going through a phase of depression in my life. I didn't like myself, didn't like the way I look, felt I wasn't good enough, was very irritable, angry, unhappy for reasons I could not explain why. My husband was a high flying investment banker, and although he worked extremely hard he has a very active social life. Because of what I was going through I avoided at all cause going out with him, parties, functions or doing any activities together and etc. It also affected my sex life , I didn't want to have sex and for a good few years it became like a chore to me. He tried talking to me about it, doing stuff for us but I couldn't change, not for long. <P>I couldn't tell anyone about what I was going through, not even my own mother. I definitely could not tell him, communication has always been a problem between the two of us. There has always been a sort of barrier between us, perhaps its due to our different personalities. He is more spontaneous and crazy while I am more proper. He mentioned this to me once, I think its true. I had a sexual fling with someone I met on holiday. At the time, I wanted to prove to myself that I was desirable. It didn't make me feel any better , the guilt forced it out of me and I told him. <P>We went to see a counselor and even then I couldn't tell them what I was feeling inside. Things were ok for a while, but it went back to its normal patterns. He gave up trying. I retaliated in my own way, this is when things got bad, the arguments, the shouting etc. We hardly ever talk except about the kids and house stuff. He traveled a lot during this period, he was promoted and had a big project with a company out of state. He buried himself in work as his escape, while I focused on the kids. <P>Because of the assignment he took it upon himself to live out there most of the time. Came back during the weekends. When he did, things still didn't change, I was afraid to approach him but I also couldn't help trying to be in control and doing things that would classify as major LBs now. Besides he was always only interested in his kids. There was still no OW at this point. Yeah perhaps there was the one or two time sex flings but he's not like that. Even if he did, how can I blame him, we went without sex for 6-8 months. <P>He mentioned divorce meekly, I didn't want one, so we separated he told me that he wanted to be on his own to sort things out. He was offered a job with the Company he was consulting and took it, moved 3 hours away. We hardly see each other, the arguments stopped and things were tolerable both for him and me. This is when he met her I guess. I sensed something but I was afraid to ask. Denial. I let things slipped further. After over a year of being apart I told him I wanted us to be together again , started feeling a lot better about myself and wanted to try to work on this marriage. He avoided me, told me he didn't want to, that there was nothing there. When I pressed he told me about her. I was also doing my own diggings, asking his friends back at the old office. <P>That was it, D-Day almost a year ago. He wanted the OW, she was everything I was not. I couldn't force a decision out of him to choose between me and her. After what I have done, he would choose her. I told him I was sorry, begged him to come back, told him the kids needed him and I needed him. He said he will always be there for us but not like before. I told him that I always loved him , I just didn't know how to show it, I told him about how I was depressed all those years. We talked a great deal about things then but he still didn't want to be with me. After the things I have done and what we've gone through why would he choose me when he had a young, confident, smart, talented GF who looks like a petite Angelina Jolie who prob fulfilled all his needs. She could not take what was happening, 2 months after D-Day told my H she couldn't see him again . Its been close to 10 months since he moved back in, and though I have tried to Plan A all along, I don't see him wanting to come back to me. Is there hope? What do i do? <P><BR>
