What to make of this twist? W calls twice today. The first was basically a rehash of what she said yesterday. My reply was the same, that I love her more than anything and want marriage to work but refuse to work alone. I must have some small victories at some point. It is about trying to make the commitments for me to continue. Pretty much the same stuff as yesterday without all the anger and emotion. YAY, no new holes <P> Any way she calls again later and asks me out to dinner. Wants to drive the 70 miles to an old favorite restaurant of ours. I know it could go either way but I am excited. I'll let you know how it goes.<P> jd

Good luck...<P>E

Are you the WS or BS?

I hope it goes well JD.<BR>I really think a lot of what she said yesterday was said in anger.<P>Keep your hopes in check -- I think its terrific that she is initiating the talk, and the location. But you still may have some rough spots to get through!<P>Take care!

Boy, do I know what it's like to anticipate a dinner conversation.... no expectations, jd. Be calm and respectful, no matter what she says. She may just want to talk. <P>let us know how it goes... <P>good luck.. and prayers comin your way....

jdmac1,<BR> You wrote:<BR>"...but refuse to work alone. I must have some small victories at some point. It is about trying to make the comitments for me to continue."<P>--------<P>Be careful! This sounds like LB stuff. You're putting pressure in your W. Don't use terms like "refuse" and "victories" when talking with your W about your relationship. Use those terms here in this forum but they probably won't help you with your W (I know from experience on this one). Don't go into dinner with high expectations but this does seem like a positive sign. Have fun and relax. Can you bring her a flower or some other small gift?<BR>SG

Thx,<P> BH, (oops)<BR> I am the BS.<P> Lexx,<P> Thanks Lexxxy. Actually she also told me she had already found a rental house. Wanted me to check on utility costs, etc. So yes, I do know that there will likely be many bad spots to come. Even to the point that tonite "could" be to discuss the D word.<P> That is not my hope. Everyone here knows what I want. But if she does hit me for a divorce. I will always care for this woman. Just differently. It would be Plan A for the rest of our lives. Probably just not for the same reasons ie; to get her back. I don't know if that makes sence to you all or not. But I cannot picture a time in my life that I would not love her to some degree. <P> jd <p>[This message has been edited by jdmac1 (edited September 05, 2001).]

Thanks Faith, SG,<P> I would say that there is some ecpectations, but more like guarded anticipation of what may unfold. <P> Sprayer, thanks for the reminder. I must control my emotions no matter what. I have already done all the LBing. Did that yesterday. For me this is going to be a light hearted get together. Even if she tries to make it more than that.<P> jd<p>[This message has been edited by jdmac1 (edited September 05, 2001).]

jd,<P>I don't know if that sounds like good news or bad. The rental house is definitly bad, but the 70 miles to a nice restaurant seems like good. I was reading Faith the other day and I thought for sure her H wanted to get back together with her, but he only wanted to meet for lunch(not a fancy resaurant). I guess you can't predict the future. But, I think what she is asking for might lead you have an idea of what she is thinking. I think the restaurant is good, she is probably only talking about the rental to kind of bluff you into believing she doesn't have to come back.<P>Either way, nothing is final, even if she says she wants a D. Just remember, whatever the topic of conversation is, stay calm and treat her with respect. Expect the worst. Just a thought, not that I would expect it to happen but in case, be ready for the whole truth to come out, you never know.<P>Did she want you to pick her up? If so this could be good, nobody wants to fight and drive 70 miles home with the person they're fighting with. Just a thought.<P>Please let us know what happens, were all rooting for you. KS and I will continue praying for you.E

Thanks SEM,<P> I do not think she is bluffing about the rental. I'm sure she already has one(maybe already 'had' one)because she gave me the address so I could call and check on utility prices. It could still be a bluf...who knows?<P> Well I am trying to prepare myself for any eventuality, but as the time draws closer I am getting a little nervous. <P> SEM, you don't ask for much do ya? <P> Actually transprotation wasn't discussed. But I will insist on taking my vehicle. No way do I want to get stranded 70 miles from home My number one goal is to remain calm and collected at all costs. If W wants to fight she will be talking to the wind. That WILL be difficult because she knows how to push all my buttons. <P> Ya'll are making me nervous. Feel like I am going on a first date or something. Which I really am I guess....hmmm<BR>Gotta remember that, do my best to have and give a memorable time.<P> Thanks ALL<P> jd

Hey - wanna borrow my little black mini skirt JD? Only joking of course, but it worked for me!<P>Just wanted to wish you the very best of luck - I know how nerve-wracking this is, you are spot on when you say it feels like a 'first date'! Gather your confidence and control together and go show her your light.<P>Hugs, Paint.

jd, <P>I don't know when your date is so if your still out there. Just think positive. Try to make it a great night, follow her conversation, don't try to push touchy topics, and don't LB! You will do great, I know you can and will. <P>Sorry I made you nervouse, I just wanted to make sure you were thinking about possibilities, so your not completely caught off guard in the worst case, if you know what I mean.<P>Like I said, Im sure you'll do great, and you'll have agreat evening together, just think positive.

JD..<P>when you get home.. post here.. and if you need to chitchat.. PM me at ICQ.<P>Good Luck.. prayers your way man.<P>Oh.. and take paintbox up on that skirt lol<P>------------------<BR>Semper Fi,<P><B>Husband2You</B><BR>*****<BR><I>···In the valley of the blind the one eye'd man is King···</I><P>· E-mail: <B> husband2you@petroleum.org </B> · ICQ: <B><A HREF="http://wwp.icq.com/1206499" TARGET=_blank>1206499</A></B> · Formerly: <B>E m p t y</B> ·