Granted BIN,<p> So what would you deem could be the motives? Just to hassle BS in general to not recover M? To not even try? I don't see that in the posts. More a tough love type approach? <p> Granted that this person needs to answer the critics. Come forward radium. Some may not agree with what you are saying, but they are fair people. You will get a fair shake.<p>jd<p>[ January 14, 2002: Message edited by: jdmac1 ]</p>

I agree radium is not mainstream on this board. However I believe his observations are healthy and considered.

I agree radium is not mainstream on this board. However I believe his observations are healthy and considered.

I have no idea, only radium can speak for themselves (might be a woman!)?<p>Nevertheless, I read the posts, I gave my opinion, I have no idea as to anyone's motives but my own still, it makes me suspicious when/if the person refuses to answer when called...<p>I don't care, really, anybody can come out here and tell us what for. It's just that when you get to the forums to ask questions about MB concepts, shouldn't we at least try to embrace the the concepts????<p>If someone is just hanging around MB to prove that MB concepts are a waste of time or don't work or just to harrass BS's, then I say, GET A LIFE!!

I was just poking around before... but this latest post really bothered me:<p> <blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>I have been reading your posts and I don't get it. Your wife has a 2 year affair, moves out of your home to pursue the affair more intensely, makes a 3 month separation agreement with the excuse that she wanted space to think about her marriage while in reality wanted the opportunity to spend more quality time with her affair partner. Now that she suspects the OM is screwing someone else she comes back telling you that she really loves you. And you wonder whether she is conning you? In my opinion you are taking her back too easily. The question "why" she did this should be examined so that it doesn't happen again. To say that you didn't fulfill all her needs has become a cliche for the right to cheat. All I can say to that is bull****. She was a married woman who had a sacred obligations to abide by the marital vows she took and had no right to take a lover with whom she had a relationship for past 2 years. When she moved out her priority was not you but her lover. She was manipulative to make a 3 month separation agreement with you in case it didn't work out with the OM. You were her backup. You may have got her back but the question is what did you get back.<hr></blockquote><p>I noticed that he/she is posting to mainly newer people who may also not be familiar posts... in fact I think it was his/her post to Boppo57 that caused Boppo to talk about 'conflicting' advice in a later post...<p>I have emailed moderators to ask what they think. I am not trying to be harsh... just asking if radium is familiar w/ concepts... also note that he/she only responds to posts... has not ever initiated one and told us his/her story....<p>I was careful w/ this because I didn't want it to become a witchhunt where he/she was flamed.... but I want newer folks to realize that his/her advice is not standard on these boards.<p>Cali

Well, it is pretty unusual for posters to not even make a nod towards Harley's theories, but on the other hand, this board does have a long-time poster who has pretty much come up with his own theories about how everything works. He doesn't hesitate to tell others that their spouse is a sociopath (though he possesses no psych. degree that I know of), and also tells posters that they and their spouse don't seem to "fit" (i.e., will never work). This guy raises a lot of eyebrows, and draws occasional fire, but is generally one of the gang.<p>Radium's goal seems to be to restore a little courage and self-esteem in emotionally depleted BS, something I've sometimes wanted to do myself. He's not saying that the BSes are selfish, cruel and manipulative. I can't see how he rates any interference.<p>Rose Red

When you post or lurk on a board like this, you will see a diversity of opinions. Conflicting ideas are to be expected. For newbie posts, it would help when a veteran replies to the thread with "welcome package links", and in most cases that happens.<p>I read a few of the radium posts, and the suggestions mostly seem to be along the lines "protect yourself", which is a valid consideration even in plan A. There may be MB principles missing from the posts, especially the "what did you get back" post under plan A/B, but that's okay because others chime in with their own views. All of this should be heard and considered by those seeking support and advice.<p>It would help if radium posted his/her story, or motivation for being here. That lack hurts radium's credibility, as evidenced by this very thread.

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by tmmx:
<strong>
It would help if radium posted his/her story, or motivation for being here. That lack hurts radium's credibility, as evidenced by this very thread.</strong><hr></blockquote><p>That the exact idea of trying to engage them. I did once with a lady from another BB Forum (diamonda) and she reply nicely and tell us about her motivation. Similiar to radium line of thought but she is more carefull w/ the post than radium. All we could do is shake the credibility ... Orchid did that with soulmate11.<p>I agree also that we need opposing view like SNL and others but constructive opposing view, not inflamatory comment then run away.

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>That the exact idea of trying to engage them. <hr></blockquote><p>I am a frequent poster to those with differing opinions... I have no problem with differing opinions... but lacking the knowledge of who a person is and why they are posting on the board makes it difficult to weigh the advice...<p>radium seems to specifically post to 'newer' folks and has never originated a post... <p>I am mainly concerned that he/she will scare off newbies or cause them to feel worse than they already do... if I had received advice like his in my early days... it would have been like a stab in the heart...<p>Cali