Can you believe it! Its been almost a week since I made my last post. And what a week it has been, the events that have happened since last Tuesday are so unbelievable that I wonder if they really happened or not.<p>I think the last post I made was when W tried to swallow the bottle of pills. W was sent to a psychiatric evaluation center and was released after only 2 days. During her time there, she told me she didn't want anyone to see her, yet I found out that OM had made a few visits to see her and even was the one who picked her up when she was released (W told me that BF was going to do that). W wanted me to leave the house when she got out but I refused so she went to a hotel for the night. Well, guess who decided to spend the night with her to make sure she was ok!<p>Later on the same night (this is the unbelievable part), I got a call from OM's W telling me that WS and OM were at her house and if I could come get WS because she was being very confrontational with her. By the time I walked up the street, they had left, but I could tell that OM's W was very upset. Some of the things she told me had me very concerned so I had the police do a well-check on WS and they found enough reason to take her back to the ER on a suicide watch. And, guess who went to the ER with WS to make sure she was ok.<p>OM's W and I talked for a while and she said that she felt it was time we got together and tried to figure out exactly what was going on with the two lovers since neither one of us knows the whole truth. She also mentioned my Plan B letter (OM showed it to her) and she commented on how much sense it made to her, especially the disrespect the A shows the spouse and cutting off all contact with the WS while they continue the A I explained a bit about MB principals and she seemed to agree that she had been doing a Plan A and felt like it was time to move to some kind of Plan B.<p>The next day I filed for emergency custody of the kids and I think that really shook WS up because her whole demeanor changed after she found out what I did. From what I gather, her attorney read her the riot act and said that she stands to loose everything if she continues this kind of lifestyle. We came to an agreement where I will stay at the house for 2 weeks as long as she goes to treatment and gets her life back on track. I asked W if she felt that OM was worth all she has lost, she said no, but didn't know how to end it. I also told her that her relationship with OM is very destructive and probably wouldn't last more than a year if they did get married, she said it probably wouldn't last more than 6 mos and admitted that it was a very sick relationship.<p>I also found out that OM's W is planning on filing for a D. She took his dogs to the pound and changed the locks on the doors so I think she is pretty serious about it. One thing she did tell me is that she has not given up on the M, but felt that a D is the only way to make OM realize how serious she is. From what I gather, OM has been with his W the entire time the A was going on, he seems to be a master cake-eater. So, not only has he been cheating on his W, but WS as well!<p>So, now I am back in the house for a while and it feels pretty good. It is depressing to see how much neglect the house is showing, we worked so hard for it, done so much work to it, and now it seems to be all for nothing. I really want to do some things to it, like give it a good cleaning and fix the things that are broken, but just cant find it in myself to take that initiative. I think it is the fear that the M might be over and the fear that W will never really get over OM that keeps me from taking that step. <p>This fear is also preventing me from really going into a good Plan A mode again, much as I want to. W and I are getting along and we are comfortable with each other, in a way I feel that we are acting like we used to when we were still together (except that I sleep on the couch). I even have noticed that W is calling me at work and doing her usual checking-up on me, wanting to know what my plans are for the day, which used to drive me nuts, but right now I actually enjoy it because she is paying attention to me. <p>So I am at this point where I really don't know what to do. Part of me wants to go into a full blown Plan A because I still am committed to W and the M and this may be my last chance, part of me says don't even bother because too much damage has been done, and part of me wonders if W even wants to try at all, or if she feels that OM is the only one and no one will even come close. I'd like to ask her point blank where she thinks we stand but right now I know she cant and doesn't want to make any decisions about any relationships. In a way I guess I am back in limbo land, much like I have been for the last 6 months.<p>Anyway, this went a little long. Just thought I would keep you all updated on my situation.

Incredible story LHS --<p>I'm so glad to hear that you're back in the house and got custody of the kids.<p>I assume your attorney has been kept up to date with everything that has transpired.<p>I can't imagine she has much further to go to hit the bottom. She may even be starting her climb back up, which is why you're seeing flashes of the "old" her.<p>Stay strong for the kids. You're so important to them right now -- and really consider staying put and fighting for the house and kids. That would obviously be best for them.

Wow LHS. You absolutely amaze me with your strength. I am also happy to hear that you are back in house and got custody of the kids. Lexxy is right, your wife doesn't have much further to go to hit bottom and hopefully she is on the road up. Whatever you decide to do, Plan A or plan B, my prayers are with you. I know you will do great in whatever decision you make because you will be doing what is best for YOU and YOUR KIDS.
BH

{{{ LHS }}} .... big HUG!<p>Sending you strength and courage during this crisis.<p>I just want to say I feel so darn sorry for your WW. She is soooo very lost. Her self-esteem must be into the negative range with all this. Prayers for her recovery. She seems to have soul sickness .... if you know what I mean.<p>You are conducting yourself with grace. You are a real man .... worthy of admiration!<p>Pepper

LHS, glad to hear you are home. <p>What to do? Well, keep busy for one. If you can delve into your home and family, it may help pass the time and boost your moral. <p>Your W and the OM will need to reach their individual points of acceptance of where they are and where they need to be. Obviously they have a destructive relationship. His being there seems to have an affect on her going back. Hm.........<p>Glad you were strong enough to help the OM's W. You are a strong man to tackle such a volitale situation. <p>I am proud of U. [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>L.

Thanx all for your kind words. This has been such a physically, emotionally and mentally draining experience for me, I know that it is only through the grace of God that I have made it this far. Right now I feel that I have been able to get some control over this situation and I feel a bit better because of it. I am able to concentrate on work, school and my kids like I need too. Even though my staying in the house is only temporary, I will make the most of it. Next week I move into my new apt which is only about 2 miles from the house (other one was a ½ hour drive each way L) so I when my stay here is done, I will still be able to see the kids as much as I can J.<p>Spring is coming and I plan on taking a weekend off to head up into the mountains by myself for a much deserved mental vacation. I&#8217;m going to find a nice secluded spot and just be by myself for a few days reveling in all the glory that God has blessed upon this earth. There is nothing more beautiful than being in the high Rockies on a nice spring weekend! Its going to be my first annual LHS has no worries weekend.<p>O- I really didn&#8217;t know OM&#8217;s W very well before all this came about, WS and OM made sure that we never really met (gee, go figure). But, I have talked to her quite a bit and I find her to be a rather exceptional woman, she has a lot of strength as well, like all of us WS&#8217;s do. Today I sent her an email and told her about some of the books I have read, like HNHN&#8217;s and SAA and also about this wonderful website. I hope she comes and at least lurks around to see that she is not alone and finds some strength in the posts here.<p>Right now things are happening so quickly that I don&#8217;t know what to expect anymore. Between OM&#8217;s W and WS, I get 2 completely different sets of information on what is going on between our 2 confused lovers. Right now, I don&#8217;t believe anything that W tells me and I have to wonder if OM&#8217;s W is getting false information from her WS as well.<p>This afternoon, W called me and said that OM is getting so much hateful emails from his family that he is becoming suicidal. She wanted me to talk to OM&#8217;s W and have her tell his family to stop being so mean to him. I told her that it probably isn&#8217;t a good idea for me to get involved with OM&#8217;s problems because the only thing I could offer him is advice on how to tie a good noose. I then asked her if she truly believed what he is saying is true, or is he just trying to get some sympathy. She admitted that she really doesn&#8217;t believe anything he says anymore since he seems to be a compulsive liar. I told her that he is a big boy, he created this mess, and he needs to be a man and deal with it as real man should. I told her that in my book, OM is a coward, not even close to a real man.<p>So then, I got an email from OM&#8217;s W telling me that W is basically stalking OM, calling him all the time, begging him to spend the night with her, even went to his work and basically harassed him. She says that OM is scared of what W might do if he completely breaks it off. In a way, I give this story some value because I know W can become very obsessive sometimes. <p>What a mess, from my view, I see the A really beginning to unravel. The bubble of secrecy has been completely popped and the A just doesn&#8217;t seem to be as nice as it once was. OM&#8217;s W told me she is getting tough on OM and I think that is really making him pull back from W, which may explain her obsessive behavior. Cripes, how come W cant see me standing right here, loving her as much as the day we first got married and could never even dream of treating her with so much disrespect as OM has?

LHS, <p>Because she needs more help than either of you can give but she doesn't see the forest for the trees. So the babble goes all the way around. From your W to U from OM to his W and between the WS and OP. The only 2 speaking clearly are you and the OM's W! <p>Put your boots on and get a firm grip on your surroundings, I think the weather is brewing up a storm. Better batter down the hatches and ride this one out. Your W will need you now more than ever but she sure won't make you feel that way. Just remember she is not herself. She probably is stalking of sorts. And one day, she might even remember what she has done. <p>Take care,
L.

LHS<p>(((((HUGS))))) for being strong for your kids.

Dear LHS,<p>Your wife doesn't know what she has, she doesn't see your value. If she did, she couldn't help but be in love with you. If she did, she couldn't have looked into the faces of her children and continued cheating on their father with another man.<p>Have you talked to the Harleys? Not that you aren't doing splendidly on your own, but since you're following their principles and guidelines, I bet they could be really helpful for you and your family.<p>Now, as to the nonsense about asking you to come to the rescue of her boyfriend and call off the family of his wife, who are justifiably disgusted and angry with him. What? I mean, she broke her vows with this creep, hurt you and the kids you have together with this affair. Now you're supposed to get between the creep and the consequences of his cheating? She's really in the fog if she doesn't see the total silliness of that.<p>"Please husband, be my hero and rescue my illicit married lover from the critical comments of his wife's family. They are damaging his self esteem and he's getting depressed."<p>No writer could have come up with such a ridiculous idea.<p>Strength to you. You can do this restoration.