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Thread Like Summary
Isaiah46.4, Prisca
Total Likes: 2
Original Post (Thread Starter)
by w1hubby
w1hubby
I am writer1's husband (you can search her story here on MB.) To give a little background and history on MB, writer1 originally came to marriage builders 13 years ago, after an affair ended when our OC was a year old. Prior to this, I had had a long term (10-year) mostly emotional affair with an ex-girlfriend from high school.

Forward to the last three years, where I’ve had multiple affairs. First, I met a woman through social media in June of 2019 that turned physical by July. I stopped the affair once it was exposed via a text message to my wife after the affair partner and I had a heated text session the night before.

We, then, moved out of state and after a few months at my new job in April 2020, I started an emotional affair with a co-worker who was friendly and open to personal messaging that involved inappropriate conversation, and even inappropriate pictures sent via email. This affair ended by her not responding to my messages though I did in October (2021) reach out only to see if she was okay. She did reply back by guessing someone else. When I told her who it was, she said hello, I’ve not heard from her again and I’ve not reached back out to her.

Another affair started with a different former girlfriend from high school in May 2020. This started as a catch-up session via email, but the conversations turned inappropriate within a couple of weeks. We met and had physical relations twice (Nov 2020 and July 2021) in the year and a half period of time. I exposed the affair to my wife and haven’t contacted the affair partner, but only to send a “no contact” email to her and her husband. There have been other women whom I’ve had inappropriate conversations over the years. These instances have been met by the other party stating they weren’t interested in anything more than friendship. I’ve labeled myself a serial cheater because I am. I confessed all of this to my wife and we are working to reconcile our marriage.

Over the past five weeks, my wife and I are sharing more quality time together, we are reading the Harley’s books, and when we are able to afford it will seek counseling. I know there are safeguards that must be set in place and I am showing my wife that I’m open to all opportunities to strengthen our marriage.

I do not have any specific questions, but I am open to advice from the forum.
Liked Replies
by markos
markos
Originally Posted by w1hubby
Wow, SusieQ, lots to unpack and brain over here. Thank you!

There is nothing to unpack. This is just code for "I'll say I'm thinking about it, while not doing anything." I know because I used to pull the same stunt. For two years here at MB I said I was "working on it," which was code for doing nothing.

For example, there's literally zero to unpack here:
Originally Posted by SusieQ
This serial cheating WS needs for starters:
1) poly

What's to unpack? Just tell us when it's going to happen.

Quote
Not looking to say flowery things, just wanting to act to solidify our marriage to keep the safeguard around us by daily commitment to each other.

"daily commitment" is not a safeguard. It'll take almost no time at all at MB to learn that. This is just you saying the very flowery things Susie is talking about.

You've been on here for days/hours - what does MB actually recommend you do in your situation? Find out.

Make a todo list of the things that have been recommended to you in this thread. Post this todo list to us with dates as to when those things are going to happen. Don't give us baloney about how you're "unpacking" it. You've had over a decade to unpack.
1 member likes this
by SugarCane
SugarCane
When you were here before, I remember that posters were not convinced by the correct-sounding words that you wrote. They even took your wife to task about why she thought recovery from your serial cheating was possible, and she defended you.

You were a classic case of a man who has been busted once too often, and whose wife then insists that he posts on the forum. The wife takes the husband's willingness to post as a sign of his willingness to roll up his sleeves and learn about rebuilding a marriage.

But the husband doesn't actually display any such willingness. He was ordered to post, and so he posts, and that it - job done. He does not come back frequently to learn what to do day by day, or what to do when he is facing a dilemma. He might or might not have had any intention of really changing his behaviour, but once the immediate heat is off the marriage, and once he has posted as his wife demanded, that's it - he goes back to his normal life.

That was you, and some of us could see this coming. You registered here in August 2019 and soon disappeared, and in April 2020 you went back to your normal life. And my guess is that you're only here now because you were busted again and your wife made you come here.

You won't stick around, and you won't do the work. I hope your wife is seeing now what we could see two years ago.
1 member likes this
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