Okay, so the Mail-Order bride thing got me thinking. Why can't y'all women get a mail-order husband?<P>Tired of having endless requests for sex? Try one of our Siberian Vodka-drinker husbands. No sex necessary if you buy him a case of vodka a week!<P>Need an instant handy-man? How 'bout a Romanian carpenter? He'll fix anything, and you don't have to put out to get the house fixed up! He doesn't speak English, so just pretend you have NO idea what he wants!<P>For you women who want a rich old codger, but don't want his slimy hands all over you, try one of our Russian Army Generals. You get all the benefits of a rich man, but he's so fat, you can out-run him around the bedroom!<P>For you ladies looking for a little love, we have wonderful Greek and Latin men! Sensitive, sensual and they speak the languages of love! They'll cater to your every romantic need, and here's the best part . . . THEY'VE NEVER HEARD OF FOOTBALL!!!<P>So who will be first to step right up? You too can have the "Ideal Marriage." Why have a REAL relationship when you can have all the sex, romance, money, or help around the house you want and NONE of the aggravation? Who needs conversation when you've got all that!<P>Taking orders now! Step right up . . . . <P>------------------<BR>/// Lone Star * ///<p>[This message has been edited by Lone Star (edited September 29, 1999).]

Lone Star - Thanks for offering but I already have my man. He helps cook and clean, we attempt to make the landlord fix the house, we have conversation, whats money?, and we have great sex when we have the urge(most of the time any way). I don't need a mail order husband. I already have a great one with me now!!!!!!!!!!!

Hopeful:<P>Go away, little girl, you're bad for business (Said in my best W.C. Fields voice)<P> <P>Glad you're sensible enough to see the sarcasm/humor in my post!<P>------------------<BR>/// Lone Star * ///<P>

HA HA !! YOU ARE A NUT !!<P>What a laugh thanks LS. I'm with Hopeful...got what I want in every way. Thanks though.. <P>BTW. I am GLAD you are here!<P>-interplanet janet

OH Loanstar!!!! Thanks for the laughs!<BR> <BR>B<P>------------------<BR>My favorite quote....<BR>"Hello, this is God. I will be handeling your problems today. I will not need your help, so sit back and have a good day."<BR>

Do I get a discount if I take one of each?<P>

Lone Star<P>I think we needed and still need a little bit of humor around here. I'm glad you posted this. It made me smile from ear to ear

OH NO!!!!!!<P>You mean I CAN'T get something out of all this!!!!!<P>I was kinda looking forward to the romantic one!!! (wink-wink/hubbahubba)<P>OK - YEAH...it's been awhile.....!!!<P>Thanks Lonestar - really feels great to laugh so hard....felt great to fantasize for a moment there also!!!!!<P>Hugs, <P>Sheba

Oh Lone Star... you're toooooo much!

Just what I needed today LS, my sides hurt from laughing....<BR>But, do you take trade-ins? What about refunds?<BR>And please tell me you'll guarantee that you don't have any stock like Mr. BS.<BR>~Bren~

Good, Lord, will the effects from this last full moon NEVER END?<P>

Well Lone Star, I'll take one of everything, execpt the "romantic " ones of course. I have Mike for that .<P>ROFLMBFBO<P>------------------<BR>Just call me - Deb<BR>------------------------<BR>The only day I can do anything about is today, yesterday is gone, tomorrow is not yet mine.<P>

Lone Star - The topic made me giggle. The post made me laugh so hard I almost died! <P>Thank you so so much!!<P>Lori

LoneStar -<P>I'll take Deb's romantic one !!!!<P>OOOOHHHHHh - from none to two!!!!<P>OH MY!!!!!! I think I just had a hot flash!!!! LOL!!!!<P>Hugs,<P>Sheba

I'll take one of each please.<BR>Bill my current husband's visa.

Lonestar,<BR>19 months ago I would have camped out overnight to be at the front of this line or pushed my way there!!! I would have bought one and asked for a raincheck on the others! By the way,,I have a coupon,,,do you double them?? A warning for those of you still in line,,,,,,INSIST on a warranty!!

Lone Star!!!!!!!!<P>Have you lost your mind????? What WERE you thinking when you posted this!!!!!!<P>Geez, I go to work for the day and you tell all these WIMMEN this STUFF!!!<P>How are they gonna ever put up with us when they know they've got OPTIONS!!!!<P><BR>Sheeeesh, whatta jerk.

Sheba, we better do something about this!! Your 2x4 whackadoodle business could go broke!!! We need strategy!!!<P>Maybe if we charge to punish and recycle, we could help Lonestar "diversify" his little business!!!!<P>

TNT:<P>That's the entrepreneurial spirit I'm looking for! Maybe a special: Bring in a whackadoodle 2X4, get 50% off on a new mail-order hubby (or should I get cutesy with the name and call it "Male-Order"?) <P>This is fun!<P>-----<P>DMac:<P>Hey, it's every man for himself! I'm just tryin' to earn a buck here. It ain't MY fault if Suse wants to trade you in for a new model. Mebbe it'll ease the pain if I let you be the Vice President of my new Beef Jerky division!<P>Think about it. I'll have my people call your people, and we'll do lunch sometime. Gotta go. Bunch of orders to fill!<P>------------------<BR>/// Lone Star * ///<p>[This message has been edited by Lone Star (edited September 29, 1999).]

Hi LS<BR>Yes please all of the above, I don't have a credit card could I pay in intallments, if satisfied with merchandise?<BR>You are to much for me !!! I can't remember when I last laughed so much.<BR>Jenny<BR>South Africa<BR>P.s I could get a branch going here in S.A for you (profit sharing options would be okay by me - although I might settle for testing the merchandise, just to ensure that the quality is high customer satisfaction an all you know !!)<P>------------------<BR>Where have all the cowboys gone ?<BR>Paula Cole<P><BR><p>[This message has been edited by jendan69 (edited September 30, 1999).]

I'm with neen...gimme one of each and bill H. Won't that look interesting on his corporate visa?<P>------------------<BR>Joan

THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A MAN THAT DOESN'T WANT SEX.<P>I'm turning you in for FALSE ADVERTISING!<P>LOL<p>[This message has been edited by Maya (edited September 30, 1999).]

Maya:<P>I didn't say he doesn't want it, he'll just be too drunk, fat, or dumb to GET it from you!<P>What could be better? <P>------------------<BR>/// Lone Star * ///<P>

"What could be better???????"<P>At this point, ALONE could be better ...

I will take one.(lol)<BR>p.s Thank you for your response to my response to exlir a couple of days ago. The kind words helped.

I GET TO BE IN CHARGE OF QUALITY-CONTROL TESTING!!!!!<P>(Um, er, since Dunc is so *perfect* 'n' all... *right hunny*??)<P>oh... never mind. Great idea tho!

What do we do with the ones we recycle????<P>Hmmmmmm.....

O.K. girls, enough of this levity. I've been resisting this reply all day but the weekend is upon me and I won't feel good about myself if I don't.<BR>Tried the mail order thing from a country that treats its' women like dogs and its' dogs like lunch. It doesen't even have water. So they attached the postage with staples. Needless to say she wasn't so pretty when she arrived; kinda like an american housefrau in the morning... <P>Going down the list of disires and compaints.<BR>I Don't smoke, don't drink, don't watch or even discuss football. I don't pester or maul, shower prior... complete all projects on time or before, clean up after myself, cook and taught our daughter how to. Buy her little gifts when I find something I think she'll like. Height 6'6, 205. Brutally handsome (her words). Make 3X national average and on my way to 4X, 5X....<BR>No need for postage because I can fly myself there. <BR>THe only catch is that,While I am legally available, I am hopelessly devoted to her as the sun is to rising in the East. <BR>

I'm printing business cards tomorrow...<P>Vice President<BR>Beef Jerky Unit.<P><BR>LOL, I accept!

Have to jump in a moment.....<P><BR>Uh, Suse.....<P>I think that you are to bias to be in charge of Quality Control....You have one (Dunc) standard that you go by....<P>I - on the other hand - worked in QC for 11 years and am excellent at SPC and the concept and implementation of RANDOM SAMPLING? <P>I feel that with my current untainted position (H gone - me ready) that I am the most qualified for this HIGHLY TAXING position which calls for the utmost SCRUTINY as far as attention to DETAIL and PERFORMANCE!!! <P>Thank you for listening.....<P>Sheba<P>LOL!!!!!!!!1