Hi-tech Snooping Question - Marriage Builders® Forums

My H uses a laptop computer at work which connects there to all of their systems (it's a huge company) via a docking station. I have read that even e-mails that were deleted can be retrieved. Questions: (1)Using the laptop (without the docking station) would it be possible to retrieve received and sent e-mails and if so would they only be recent (days, weeks, months ?) (2) If I was able to do so - would this group consider it a love buster or a valid method of confirming what I've been told ?

Yes, there's gotta be a way ... cauz the OM's wife did that very thing to his computer. Everything he THOUGHT was deleted, she was able to retrieve, print out and give to my H.But I'm clueless as to HOW ...

The answer to both questions in my opinion is "it depends".(1) There are commercially available software packages that will attempt to recover deleted files. You'll need to know what operating system is installed on the laptop and what email software he uses to be effective at this. You'll also need to have quite a bit of uninterrupted time with the laptop.There are also software packages that can be used to defeat these kinds of attempts at recovering erased files. If he's really nervous about his secrets he may have already installed software like this on the laptop. If that's the case it's very unlikely that you'll be able to recover any deleted files.As to the questions about how recent the files might be: Again, it depends. Assuming you're able to retrieve deleted files at all, the most likely successes will be the most recent files. If he's a heavy user of the laptop you might only be able to get today's deleted files. If he only uses the thing for email, you might get the last month's files. Or you might get a handful of files from yesterday, three from last week, and 1 from last month. It's impossible to say for sure what degree of success you'll have with this method. (2) My opinion is that it is not a love buster to snoop. It IS a love buster to have nasty confrontations about what you find after you snoop. I know that's shaky ground, but that's my rationalization if you want to call it that. Your mileage may vary.A suggestion might be to find a keylogger program that logs each keystroke to a file for later viewing. There are several out there. Some are good, some aren't so good. I had a problem with one that didn't log keystrokes typed into certain types of chat rooms, so that was useless to me. This has the disadvantage that you won't have a clue what the other people are saying - all you'll know is what was typed on the keyboard. It also won't help you retrieve anything. And some of these programs can require some relatively technical knowledge to install.Good luck. Slightly Sane

well i don't know exactly...but a lot of laptops do download the mail onto the laptops hard drive. whenever, anything gets written the hard drive, theoretically it's recoverable. you need to know the mail package he uses. then i would search on the laptops harddrive for the directorie(s) that have the mail program. maybe you'll find a temp file folder or an 'organize' folder that is 'holding' his emails.

KelStil 1) Thanks for replying to my other post out there. I was just a little worried that my teenage son might have the knowledge (it seems pretty easy) to read chats and emails from my H and me. We share the same address at home but I can write to him from work and often do. There are things that we discuss that I would prefer my kid not read!2) I work for a huge corporation and was under the impression that my personal e-mail was not being read by somebody behind closed doors. Was that pretty naive of me?

Hi Folks:I will preface this by saying I am a computer professional:E-mail is usually a private matter. In a big corporation it is stored for years and can be recovered; however usually through court order only. E-mail on a laptop can be recovered if it has not been deleted at least twice. Often mail is deleted from the mail box and then it goes into a file called trash can or recycle bin, etc. It will remain on the computer until the trash or recycle bin are "emptied" then it is gone forever. On the other hand, if yo use such things as Juno, Jump mail, Hotmail, Excite, Yahoo, etc, then the mail remains on the server somewhere else and never on the local computer unless you make a conscious attempt to save it to disk (hard or floppy). Most of that mail can not be recovered by anyone not having the correct password and user ID.However to answer your original question, any snooping is definitely a love buster and if you can't get the truth by just talking about it then snooping will only make matters worse. At the first inkling of snooping, the security measures increase and the snooping will become harder to do and the doubt and distrust will grow even greater.Need computer information, just ask?Flip

Won't go into the tech side of it, since others are more knowledgable than me about this. I will share my experience. I've hacked into my W's AOL account from my computer at work. I knew her username and password, so I simply went to the AOL site and downloaded their free software. Now I can log into her account from work and read her email and LD phone bills without her knowing, which I do on a regular basis. Email hasn't produced much, I have to say. But the phone bills (AOL now has LD service with calling card included) are interesting to say the least. When traveling (which she does a fair amount of), she's called home and lied about where she was calling from (once from a different MOTEL than the one she said she was staying at - and this was late at night!)Is this a lovebuster? Yeah, Flip is right. Dr. H someplace specifically says that snooping is a lovebuster. But you know what? It's not that I don't care. This part of it does bother me. But when I've tried to discuss the issue, VERY gently the first few times, all I've gotten is denials. I've really resorted to snooping only because of these denials, when I was virtually certain that my W WAS having an affair. I think snooping can be justified in these circumstances even if it is a lovebuster.Regards and blessings,--Wex

Thanks everybody, especially Flipper (there's nothing like expert info). In case you or others are returning - the laptop was used only at the office and only brought home on rare occassions. He is a computer guy and so I'm pretty sure he has already performed the standard drill. I was more curious about the hard drive aspect - i.e. even though he deleted them they were still there OR the first question of whether they would even be there - i.e. the laptop acting more as a dummy terminal - hard to answer I know with the limited info given. As far as access goes, I believe I'll be able to get my hands on it for a protracted length of time (weeks), without his knowledge so if I can find the right consultant I can put him/her to work.Snooping as lovebusting ? Thanks for the opinons - I've asked and he's given me answers. I view this as a way of proving out what he has told me and thereby enhancing his "trust quotient".

Athena:His "trust" quotient is already pretty low or you would believe him without needing to confirm.Blessed is he who can not see and yet he believes. My wife snooped on me. Found out something that hurt her very much. I wasn't guilty of anything, but another person was. Now I am much more careful on how I secure my information.Good snoopers create better sneaks.Good luckFlip

Hmm, this is very interesting. Thanks to all you high-techers. On my computer at work, I delete my e-mail but it never goes into the trash bin. Idon't have that option. So it is only deleted once. Are you saying that if somebody really wanted to get hold of my private e-mail (thru a court order) everything that I have written and that has been written to me, is accessible? YIKES!!!

Nander:You got it. Everything you wrote or received on a corporate computer connected to a corporate network is considered corporate data or information and is subject to a five year retention. I have been asked to and complied with Court orders to retrieve e-mail. What I tell folks is simple; If you don't want to see it on the front page of your hometown newspaper, then don't write it in your e-mail.Flip

FLIP: Wow. Thanks for the info. It does shed a different light on things.