Hi again, Trippie,<P>I hope you read the responses to your other posts - there's a wealth of good advice and information and moral support for you! We like to hear how all of this makes you feel when you read it - it's part of the fun of posting here.<P>I sure do understand how overwhelmed you're feeling right now. This is probably one of the toughest situations you will ever be in. It's like the proverbial question - "How do you eat an elephant?"<P> "One bite at a time!"<P>I also can relate to not knowing WHY you're doing what you're doing. My god, it took me forver to even begin to see why everything I did came about. And I'm STILL peicing it all together, bit by bit. I am finding out that my affairs had a lot to do with my poor self-esteem. But I'll go into more detail about that another time because ...<P>RIGHT NOW, all you have to worry about doing is ONE thing. Ending this affair. Don't worry about what you're going to say to your H or when, don't worry about why you did everything. All of that is secondary. Kinda like you can't worry about dessert when you're still working on your salad - get it?
<P>I tell you this because, if you end this affair first, you won't have to send your husband through the pain of wondering WHEN you're going to end it, IF you're going to end it, like I did to mine. Just be done with it - in all honsety, Trip, there's not much there after all, is there? With the other man, I mean - a few phone calls, e-mails, affection. It's still in a stage that's a LOT easier to terminate than after you've had sex or touched or spent actual physical time together. This is not to say that what you did isn't wrong, because it is. It's not cute, or funny or coy or even hip. Now, with your husband, you have a life, bills, a home, and most importantly children and LOVE together. All E is is a wisp of smoke and a wish compared to these. He'll blow away just as quickly and easily as he came.<P>SO. I've said a mouthful today. I hope you understand that I'm not being judgemental or even hard on you - I'm in no place to be, considering where I just came from. Point is, I've been there. And if I'd had the guts to come to a place like this (like YOU do!) and be honest and listen to good, sound advice, I would not have put my husband and myself through so much pain and agony. But instead, I decided to listen to my little stripper friends who kept telling me, "go for it, man!" and lying for me, etc. Great friends, huh? <P>Trip, because you came here and shared your secrets with us, I KNOW you can do this! I'm actually a little jealous that you had the strength to come here and I couldn't even bring my sorry @ss to Barnes and Noble to find a book to help me! Rememeber, we're here to help you through every step of the way. We've been there, we've done what you're doing.<P>You can e-mail me anytime with questions you might not want to ask here - traumangel@yahoo.com<P>Good job so far today, sweetie, keep it up, it's a one day at a time thing.<P>Khyra <P>