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Posted By: Muffina H won't listen - has too many female friends - 08/10/06 07:00 PM
My DH has a lot of female friends. I can't seem to convince him that it is inappropriate.

For example, an old friend of his who is a young attrative girl called up randomly and he invited her over to our pool to go sunbathing while I was at work! When I got home from work I told him it was not appropriate for a married man to invite a single woman to the pool (in her bikini!) but he said she was just a friend and there was nothing wrong with it and kinda laughed at me.

Also, we were out shopping and he invited the underaged shop girl to go out to the bars with us later that night. I pulled him to the side and said that is absolutely NOT appropriate for him to invite some young girl out with us and he was all, "oh, its fine, no big deal." Fortunately the girl didn't follow-up on the invitation.

Finally, he still talks regularly with his ex-girlfriends.

I don't think he is cheating or wants to. We are both together constantly so an affair is physically impossible, plus he is really devoted to me.

There are a few girls that I like and am not uncomfortable with, and I like the bikini girl, she was still there when I got home, I just don't think she should come over half-naked when I am not there.

BUT, I don't know how to communicate to him that his relationships to other women are inappropriate, even if he is not crossing the line with them.

I can't EVER get him to listen to me when I am telling him something he doesn't want to hear. He NEVER listens to me when I have a complaint, he always turns it around on me or just pretends to listen when I can see in his face he is thinking, "just nod along until she shuts up."

If I start to get angry at him he somehow turns it around on me and makes me the bad guy and I am the one apologizing or feeling bad - which then inhibits me from speaking up the next time he does something that bothers me.
Let me add that I have checked his cell phone records on the internet and he checks out fine. I have always kept a close eye on him because I have cheated in past relationships and know that if I can do it, he could too. I already know all of the tricks so I look out for them.

I am really not worried about him cheating, I am just uncomforable with some of his behavior and can't get that through to him.
Does he respect you and your opinions/ideas? Does he blow you off or your feelings (the way you mention in your post) most of the time?

He may think it is innocent, but his behavior is still disrespectful to you. Sounds like you guys need to really talk--he needs to REALLY listen--and you guys need to set some boundaries together.
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