I'm 48 years old and have never been married. About a year ago I met a man through the internet who is 53 years old and has also never been married. We corresponded for a while, then exchanged phone numbers and talked for a while. At Christmas he traveled to my home and spent a week visiting with me. The problem is that he lives in Quebec and I live in Florida, which severely limits the amount of time that we can spend together. He says that he loves me and wants to be married. I'm not sure how I feel, I don't feel that we've spent enough time together to get to know one another, and don't really see how this can work out. Right now I don't feel "in love". Should I continue to pursue this? Sometimes I feel that it probably isn't fair to him to keep letting him think that it might work out when I have such doubts. Other times I think maybe I should just go ahead and agree to marry him, hoping that I'll fall in love later. I'm confused, and feel like a dope for letting things come to this.
Hi Susan, Just throwing out my opinion:
I don't believe either of you seriously want to be married. If you did, you'd have found people reasonably close to where you are living.
I'd also be leery of a man who after spending one week with you says he wants to marry you.
I do want to be married, but I have a hard time meeting and getting to know men for some reason. My last relationship ended rather badly, and it's been a while since I've even wanted to try. And yes, I am leery of someone who says he is in love with me after a one week visit. He is not pressuring me at all, just letting me know that he is ready when I am. I'm trying to decide whether to keep pursuing this, hoping I will eventually feel "in love" or give it up now and wait for someone else. I'm leaning toward the latter.
Just be completely honest with him. If he really does love you, he'd understand and wait. Heck, if he really loved you, he'd be moving to Florida.
If he had offered to move to Florida ... I'm not sure whether I would have said yes or tried to talk him out of it.
I'm trying to decide whether to keep pursuing this, hoping I will eventually feel "in love" or give it up now and wait for someone else. I'm leaning toward the latter.