Marriage Builders
Posted By: bluesparrow I want to die - 03/13/05 06:23 AM
Please pray for me.
Last year I found out that my husband was cheating on me.
He lied to me so much during our marriage.
He was seeing one of my close friends behind my back for years.
He had a affair with another close friend of mine and I found them together.
He confessed to so many other lies that he told me over the years.
I think about ending my life often.
I know God can fix everything...it's just that I can't seem to hold on untill then...I wish I was never born.
Posted By: aminitaginkgo Re: I want to die - 03/13/05 07:02 AM
Hey there--I'm with you. I often feel the same way. I'll pray for you, and for what it is worth, here is a poem I wrote during one of my struggles like that. (I am afraid that the formatting will not come out well, so I hope it isn't incomprehensible.)

Waiting with Hope

It’s dark tonight and Hope is quiet now
I call her name, but little will she say
I ask her what to do—the when and how
“Nothing now,” Hope says, “another day.”
“When?” I cry. “And how then will I know?”
“Be patient, dear,” she says. (For Hope is blind.)
“I want to see!” I say. “It’s hard to go
Through life without a clearer plan in mind.”
“Just rest, my dear,” she says, “and save your strength.”
(Hope herself is ever strong and kind.)
“And as you rest,” she says, “make friends with Faith
For you a truer friend will never find.”
So hold my hand, dear Hope, and hold it strong
With you and Faith I’ll wait the whole night long.
Posted By: Shul Re: I want to die - 03/13/05 04:59 PM
Bluesparrow,

Your name reminds me that Jesus told us God knows what you are going through; just like he knows when the little sparrow falls from the nest.

You are worth much more than many sparrows. God loves you, he knows how you are hurting, and He is able to turn this all around for good.

Father, please give BLuesparrow a revelation of your love for her today. Let her rest in your arms, and turn this all over to you for you to deal with her husband.

We ask that you will guide and direct her and shelter her in everything. Help her to be still and hear from you.

Show her that with you there is hope for tomorrow and all her tomorrows.


In Jesus name I ask,

Shul
Posted By: bluesparrow Re: I want to die - 03/13/05 09:36 PM
Thank you, your prayers are greatly apprieciated. Please please pray for me! I hate how I feel. I hate whats happened to me and my family. I don't love my husband anymore. And I don't know if he loves me anymore. I can't feel anything anymore but sadness. I hate myself. I wish someone understood how I feel! I want to disappear! I don't want to hurt my family....it would be so much better if I was never born.
Posted By: Committed Wife... Re: I want to die - 03/14/05 02:32 AM
I dont know much about what is going on if you have posted anything before.....but if you did anything and you feel guilty......u first gotta forgive yourself...... if you can change it do that if u cant, as for forgiveness from him and whoever......especially God......dont look back, get counseling but by all means talk to someone......
Posted By: Richard F Re: I want to die - 03/14/05 05:19 PM
Bluesparrow,

What you write almost exactly echo's my wife's words. (I was the one who betrayed her by having an A - although not with anyone she knew).

Let me just echo the others here. Despite the way you feel, you are not alone. There are many here who have gone through the same things as you. Some of them *still* feel the same way, years after. Others of them have learned to forgive, or at least forgive themselves, and hope that there will be good things in the future... and there will if you are open to receive them.

Until that time comes, I hope you will continue to pray with (and for) us, as we pray for you.

God Bless,
Richard
Posted By: Saving Grace Re: I want to die - 03/20/05 11:29 PM
bluesparrow~

My heart goes out to you. No matter the situation and who is involved to feel like you want to die tells me you are at the end of your rope. I understand, I've been there, I'm still there. But what I have found is that it does get easier every passing day. And the pain becomes less with each prayer.

Have faith, faith in yourself that you will make it through this and faith in God. He doesn't give us anthing he thinks we can't handle. No matter how devastating we may think things may seem righ now.

I pray that He give bluesparrow the wings she needs to find the strength to overcome this and other challenges she will face in her journey.
In Jesus name I ask~
Saving Grace
Posted By: iusedtoloveu Re: I want to die - 03/22/05 10:57 PM
Heavenly Father,

You know the heart of Blue Sparrow. You know the pain your child is bearing, Lord. I ask in the name of Jesus Christ, you will surround her with your loving arms. I pray you will give her a peace that surpasses all understanding.
Lord, I pray that you in all your grace and mercy, will show bluesparrow you are right there beside her and comfort her in this time of turmoil.
Our faith is brought about in times of struggle, Lord, and that our hope is in that which is not seen. I pray for the restoration of this marriage, in Your name, where all is possible. In Jesus name, Amen
Posted By: StandingTogether Re: I want to die - 03/22/05 11:22 PM
Dear Lord,

Please be w/bluesparrow as she faces these demons around her. Please help her see that You are Lord & Savior of us all & nothing is impossible w/You by our side. Ease her pain, Lord. Please take away her sadness & replace it w/joy -- Joy for You & what You can do for her.

Lord, You know that bluesparrow's at the end of her rope. Please help her see that by letting go of that rope, she can rest in Your arms, that You will catch her if she's falling. Help her pick herself back up & show her the path to complete healing.

All this I ask in Jesus' name, Your one & only Son, Amen.

Love in Christ,
Y
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