i need everyone opinion on your definition of what is a affair.

the reason i'am asking is W lover said he not having a A to his W. I said a A is one person see another person and there married but not to each other. they spend time in a motel.

There are two types. Emotional Affair and Physical Affrair. An EA often turns into a PA.

An EA can be things like IMing each other or going to a movie with someone behind your spouse's back. There may be no kissing or the like but they are a friend and your heart gets excited and you yearn to see them or light up when their name is mentioned. Sometimes conversations might go like "my wife just doesn't understand me; it's soo nice to have someone that does".

An PA is kissing, nudity, intercourse.

Depending on your moral or religious persuasion, some would say that as long as your spouse knows, it is not an affair. As in case of swingers. Others would say anything outside the two of you is an affair even if the other knows.
----
To me, meeting in a hotel is definitely an EA and since no one knows what truely happens behind those closed doors, it's fair to say the possibility of PA is very high. Otherwise, what's the need for private room? Why not McDonolds?