Marriage Builders®
Posted By: fiori 15 Hours per week...Ok, But what do you do??? - 03/07/08 11:49 AM
I read the info and we're working on a re-connect. But, with work, house and two kids with crazy schedules, I just want a few suggestions as to WHAT you do and how you do it? 15 hours sounds like a great idea, I'm just not sure what others are doing (other than the obvious!)
Thanks.
Hi Fiori,

Actually 15 hrs isnt as hard as it sounds. At first I thought the same thing - WHAT?? 15 hours?!?! But if you break it down by day, it only comes out to a little over 2 hours a day.

We have two kids also, with busy schedules & activities. I am not sure how old your kids are but ours are 6th and 8th grade. They know one night during the week, its DATE NIGHT!
They go to their rooms to read or draw or whatever, and mom and dad either spend time in the living room or their bedroom - UNINTERRUPTED!

My H and I break up the 15 hours various ways depending on our schedules. And admittedly, some weeks its a bit less - but some weeks we can pack 15 + hours in!

Things we do:

Play scrabble
JUST TALK!
Go out to dinner (close to home)
Backrubs!
Play the WII (new obsession - so interactive, fun and great exercise)
..and the obvious! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

If you schedule in the time, just like you do with your kids activities, church functions, etc. on the calendar, its not so hard. We make the time non-negotiable!

Hope more people post some ideas for things to do, and ways to schedule it all in.

Good luck!
Mostly we are using the time to meet each other's needs. So for me it is talking ... not "fix-it" talk about the relationship, but just sharing what is going on in our professional lives or with our other relationships with friends and family. And for my husband it is physical affection. Wow, pretty boring! Sorry, I don't have anything more creative.

I do like the idea of playing games together (as long as neither of you are too competitive). And I am currently trying to incorporate cleaning together (did 30 catperson minutes tonight ... LOL!).
Dh and I will head out to some local haunts like the local theatre for a play or jazz concert downtown. We'll go for a milk shake, or coffee, or to the bookstore.

We read to each other, share music together, talk about our interests. I try to make him feel special, like he's the only one for me. (After all, he is)

We like to go out shopping for intimate apparel for me on occasion. In the past, my DH has selected some lovely bras that I just love wearing for him!

We play games together. Cook together. Clean together. I try to let him know he's my lover and friend as well as my husband and father to our kids. So there's a lot of flirting with him.

We're both romantic, so massages and lots of physical affection are part of our relationship. ( including SF <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

I'm also trying to get back into my exercise routine with him.

I hate to say this, but what we don't do is the *Faith* based sharing that we used to. We would wake up early and read the daily readings and Bible, followed by prayer time together. This is something we talked about doing again, but need to re-implement.

What are your husband's interests? Goals? Have you asked him what it is that he needs from you to know that he's loved and cherished? I mean, what actions, big or small, that you do for him, have done for him in the past, or could be doing so he knows he's appreciated?

It's very important for a husband to know he's valued and appreciated. And while it might seem obvious to us as wives that by caring for our home and family, we're showing that appreciation, it isn't always so obvious to our men-folk. So ask him specifics on his wants, needs, and desires. Then you can incorporate them into the 15 hours and score lots of points in the love bank.

Jewel
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