I recently found out that my husband of 17 years has had 2 affairs, chatted online with other women and been with 2 prostitutes. The first affair took place while I was going through chemotherapy and the second one came 1 month after we finished 6 months of marriage counseling and i thought we were starting anew. He says he loves me and that it was strictly sex. We have not had much of a sex life for many years... we seemed to be on a see-saw. I try to initiate sex for a while and he is ambivelant, then he tries for a while and i'm ambivelant. In view of the sex issues, should I not blame him for the affairs?
Secondly, my fear in staying is that he will do it again - when we talk about it, he always qualifies his answer with "at this point in time" I'm happy or if everything stays like it is now..., and he says his fear is that I stay because I'm afraid to be alone. Granted I make about a third of what he makes, but I know I'd survive! We also have a 15 year old son who neither one of us wants to hurt.
I feel good with him as long as I don't think about things. I can't help thinking he may not be being honest with me (now or in the future)... I never suspected that he would lie to me in the past, so how would I tell in the future?

Sorry for your pain. My first intuitions tell me to examine the fear of being alone. If that's real, then you must be sure that you're not with him because of that. See what I mean?

You decide when it's enough. You must consider that his actions may better reflect his feelings than his words. Love-making is important in relationships and it can be so difficult to keep fresh and new. We're so addicted to novelty in our culture. I think if you both choose to heal your relationship, then the bedroom could be a good place to start.

I guess you need to decide what you want and then learn how to establish trust again, which can be a long, involved process.

Good luck!