I am 27 yrs old. My husband is 32. We have been married for 4 yrs. We have 4 children, 2 of which are from a previous relationship. My problem is: He spends no time with us at all. i have repetitively talked to him about this saying parenting and marriage goes far beyond financial responsiblity. I make suggestions such as the zoo, the park, the library, movies, shopping and so on. His answer each and every time to this is "NO". Yet, when somehting comes up for him that he likes to do, such as soccer, basketball, going to the gym, his friend visiting in the next state, he jumps at the moment to go. Doesnt give us any choice in the matter. The next problem is: MONEY!!!! He makes very good money, and i see none of it. Don't get me wrong, he does give me 250.00 dollars every 2 weeks for groceries, gas money, diapers, formula, co-pays for prescriptions,little odds and ends he needs me to pick up, and spending money. I am to budget well enough to be able to buy school clothes, summer clothes, winter clothes and winter coats for 4 kids out of 250.00 dollars every 2 weeks. Next: I have told him constantly how sad i always am, how lonely I am, he doesn't seem to care much, he tells me "You like to feel sorry for yourself" I told him he is welcome to make all the excuses he wants. But when the time comes for me to walk out that front door with all 4 kids and you never see us again, what excuse will you make then. Anyhow, if you have any advice at all, I would be open to it. Suggestions? I'll take them. I need help, or I'm out of this, for good!!
--------------------<p>Christa Adeyemi

Christa,<p>My wife left me 7 months ago for reasons I still don't fully know. There is no time line or objectives on her part to mend this situation.<p>You could ask him to leave for acouple weeks or a month with no contact by you and see what happens. Or you could leave and take the kids and contact him once a week or every other week to see if he has made any decisions to change.<p>When my wife left I changed some areas that I thought might be adding to her frustration. <p>Seek a good marriage counselor and pray daily about the situation. Best wishes.

Christa, this is probably the first time I've been to this particular area at MB. It gets very little attention...so I'm suggesting that you re-post at another topic, like Emotional Needs, there's alot more going on there and you are more likely to get feedback. I hope you're not thinking that no one cares/relates to your problem!