Marriage Builders®
Posted By: betterthanb4 "How are we doing?" meetings - 04/24/09 09:43 AM
You're probably wondering how a meeting to evaluate the marriage could possibly be anything but romantic. The meeting itself is not, but we are finding that it leads to a stronger marriage which in turn sparks the romance.

Background: We were in MC three years ago due to my H's troubled period in his life -- he was just unhappy -- and which led to a brief EA on his part. He closed me off from his thoughts and from his life. Even moved out for a few weeks (and that was after he ended the EA). Days after he had moved out he sought counseling (finally!) and very soon realized he wanted a chance to put every effort back into our marriage.

His individual counseling soon led to our MC. One week I asked our MC how I could trust my H not to shut me out again. The MC simply responded "Keep talking to each other."

As a result of that simple suggestion, we have made it a point to occasionally ask each other "How are we doing?" and hold a brief meeting to review where we've been and we're heading.

It's been three years now and it's been working well. Or maybe I should write, we've been working well.

We're enjoying each other and making it a priority to spend fun time together -- it can be as simple as sitting down to watch a movie together -- just as long as the emphasis is on doing it together.

Our sex life has been great. An eye-opener for me was recognizing (thanks to my IC) that sex for my H provides an emotional -- not just physical -- connection for him.

Anyhow, I just wanted to share my thoughts here. As I said, I know a meeting doesn't sound romantic, but it is an effective tool in strengthening our relationship. And that leads to better romance.
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