Embarrassed to say this but.... - 02/13/06 10:57 PM
My husband left me when I was 7 months pregnant. We have will be married for six years next month. Needless to say I was devastated. He later told me that he was having affair with someone at his job. I am 29 years old and I feel like I have given up my whole life for him and in return his spit on it. The one big thing that I have sacrificed for him is taking care of his kids. I did not want to but I did it anyway. He and I both can agree that in this relationship it has been mostly I give and mostly he and/or his kids take.
He and I have prayed together about this issue several times and I truly believe that God wants the two of us to be together. I also believe that my two babies deserve to have their father. But here is the problem. I have been plagued with temptation to get him back. I truly want him to hurt as much as I did. Does this mean that I don't love him? The feelings that I feel toward him are frequently not the feeling that the Lord describes as love. I have even gone as far as thinking about a man that I could have an affair with just to get him back. I know that this sounds horrible, but I feel guilty for even thinking this way but I can not shake the feeling. My husband revealed all this to me about 9 months ago, and while things are tremendously better, I still want him to suffer like I did. Any advice?
__________________
He and I have prayed together about this issue several times and I truly believe that God wants the two of us to be together. I also believe that my two babies deserve to have their father. But here is the problem. I have been plagued with temptation to get him back. I truly want him to hurt as much as I did. Does this mean that I don't love him? The feelings that I feel toward him are frequently not the feeling that the Lord describes as love. I have even gone as far as thinking about a man that I could have an affair with just to get him back. I know that this sounds horrible, but I feel guilty for even thinking this way but I can not shake the feeling. My husband revealed all this to me about 9 months ago, and while things are tremendously better, I still want him to suffer like I did. Any advice?
__________________