Please help me decide whether this is important or not. My husband and I have been married for 2 years. When we were legally married, he promised me that we would eventually marry in church. We decided to marry rather quickly due to his immigration situation and didn't make a big deal at the time because we did have our church wedding in mind. He moved here from another country to be with me. During these 2 years, he has become less and less interested in getting married through the church, yet this remains very important to me. He says that he feels it's all just a waste of money (the dress, the tuxedo, the bouquet, the reception..etc). I feel that we've missed out on something very special and very important...God's blessing. I know it's tradition and to some people this may not be important, but to me it is. I don't really care about the dress, the flowers, the party. etc. I care about being in God's house with the man I love and stating our vows in God's presence. I feel bad that our parents and families never had the chance to share in our "marriage experience" and he's often told me that this is all just a childish illusion. We are both very dedicated to going to church every Sunday and we each have our own personal relationship with God, but I still feel like we should fulfill this sacrament. If it were up to me, I wouldn't even have a big party, or follow all those "material traditions" that come with a wedding. I just want us to have that moment. Please tell me if I'm just being childish and unrealistic and feel free to share any suggestions with me about how I can talk to my husband about this. Thank you!

It's ok to say what you're feeling and what's important to you. In a way I agree with your husband, in that the "wedding" does not make the marriage. I agree with you that it is important to have God's blessing for your marriage. Even though you didn't actually marry in a church, your marriage is still valid in God's eyes.<P>I would spend a lot of time in prayer about this, asking for God's guidance and His will. Then, do as our motto "Shut Up and Pray"! God bless,<BR>AW<BR>

I agree with AW in regarding that God already honors your marriage, but I am hearing two things in your post. One, your desire to be married in the church and two, to have your family witness such. <P>If what is truly important to you is being married with in the church, why not propose to your hubby and schedule an in-church ceremony with just the two of you for Valentine's Day if he agrees...minus the family, etc. Maybe book a room at a motel, with a jacuzzi tub, the whole bit....<P>If the issue is having your family witness your marriage, then I guess you will really have to pray about it, for in some ways, I think men have a tendency to shy away from those type of attention getting things and since you are already married, he probably even feels a bit ruffled around the edges, as though maybe the actual marriage wasn't good enough. It is God's blessing you needed (and received when you bcame one with your husband), not the family. <P>I will be praying for wisdom for you in this.