Hi I was wondeing hw do you know when WW's A is ending she will not talk to me about it. She hides everything from me very well. And I'm not snooping anymore so I don't know whats going on but I did see where she was looking up old highschool names on a search on the internet last night. I don't think that she would admit to me that the A was starting to end because she had told me so many times that it was the real thing and her feelings would never change. I'm just affraid that she will turn somewhere else rather than addmitting to me that it's over (she is very stubborn) I want to be there for her if it ends and the withdrawls from it being over starts for her. She said that if it doesn't work out with OM that she still would want to move on instead of working on our M but I'm not ready to accept that yet. Thanks for ant thougts

<small>[ February 05, 2003, 04:31 PM: Message edited by: 20years ]</small>

How are you improving your own personal situation? Emotional? Spiritual? Physical? Are you working on your own happiness, and your own issues? Or, are you waiting to work on her issies for her?

20,

Pepper hit the nail right on the head...I am on the other side of the fence, though. As WH i didn't begin to work on S until I fell into the abyss, swallowed up by WAT's strategically alien devised black holes! Whether BS or WS (someone who is willing to look in the mirror), the same demise happens to ALL.

Do yourself a favor and commit to yourself! The more energy and effort you place on your own well being the more attractive you will become to YOU and perhaps your WW!

S

There are certainly signs that could be used to guage this stuff. Just reverse the "Signs of an affair" lists around the site.

More importantly though, you should be ready to be there for her at anytime. Otherwise, its sort of like saying, "I'll accept God when I'm about to die."

FWIW, my W came back when I thought A was at its deepest. If I hadn't been consistent, I might have missed the chance.

Thanks for the replies. Yes I have been working on myself MB has been a great place to learn how other people feel and it has helped me see my mistakes as well as see how my W fills about things. But I can't do anything about our M unless she wants to work on it also other than being as supportive as I can. The little things do seam to go unnoticed or even makes her mad that I'm trying. She says that she does not want metrying to save M because she doesn't want it back. She just wants to live here as fiends for our kids sake. If there is a chance to ever get it back I just don't want to miss it trying to do what she wants by leaving her alone. With the things that I've learned over the last few months I just want to try to make up for all the lost time.

I consider looking up old high school friends on internet a bad sign. Especially Classmates.com. That is exactly where my FWH went to find his old girlfriend, then contacted her. It escalated into an A. 6 months of phone calls and emails, and two in person meetings to become PA.
As far as I'm concerned, that site is nothing but a bad news bear.
I know some people will use it just to find old friends with no ulterior motives. But I wouldn't trust it again. I cancelled his membership and told him his HS days are gone and done if he wants to stay married. He chose me.
And we're really recovering well now. By the Grace of God and by giving it over to God.
God bless, LouLou