My FHW and I are in IC (separate C) and are at a point where we want to start MC. Our C's have suggested we visit each other's Cs together for a few sessions, then go from there to chose a steady for MC. We are both pretty comfortable with this.
Does this sound like something that is a good idea? Has anyone else done the same thing? Or should we find a separate MC altogether?
Both my wife's and mine IC serves as our MC as well.
It can be a plus and a minus.
When she was in the denial stage it was not a healthy setup. I was paranoid that she was telling our therapist things and our therapist was not telling me. I was very confrontational in the early MC meetings because I knew the story she was saying just wasn't true.
But now that we are actually working on recovery its a huge plus. Because she can work with both of us in our IC sessions so that when we have MC we both are on the same page with each other.
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by stunned-dad-fast recovering:
<strong> Both my wife's and mine IC serves as our MC as well.
It can be a plus and a minus.
When she was in the denial stage it was not a healthy setup. I was paranoid that she was telling our therapist things and our therapist was not telling me. I was very confrontational in the early MC meetings because I knew the story she was saying just wasn't true.
But now that we are actually working on recovery its a huge plus. Because she can work with both of us in our IC sessions so that when we have MC we both are on the same page with each other. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">SDFR,
My FWH was/is not in denial, didn't have withdrawl, and is whole-heartedly into recovery. I thought it would be good for both of us to visit each other's C so that in the beginning we both feel "represented" in some way. We are going to my C the week after next together.
I am so excited about getting into MC! We really want to learn and move on from here.
Thanks for your response!
My WH and I each have our own IC, and a separate MT. We chose that because my WH is having trust issues. However, he gave permission for our MT to communicate with his IC (and of course I gave my permission for MT to talk to my IC), and he and I both gave permission for our IC to communicate with each other.
I think our IC, out of necessity, kind of take sides, for our own mental health. So, I don't know how effective, without trust issues involved, going to each other's IC would be.
Hmmmmmm, interesting. Keep posting and let us know how it is going!
Amy