Can anyone tell me what a good plan A is? I am so new to this and so hurt and so confused...I can't sleep, eat, or talk about this A without my wife getting defensive and angry..I know I have not met any of her needs and I need to start..Please anyone..Can anyone help me put together a great plan A


Michael~~

<small>[ November 16, 2004, 12:38 PM: Message edited by: Mschluter ]</small>

MS - have you read the official MB discussion about it, or Surviving an Affair?

Have you read ark's "get grounded here" thread?

The quickest description I can give is this - imagine how you'd treat your wife if she was crazy, and you knew she was crazy, and her insanity caused her to treat you horribly, but you knew it would go away after a few months.

And imagine, furthermore, that your wife's madness was built on a distorted view of you, a delusion about you that magnified your faults and ignored your strengths.

You would be kind and patient with her while you waited for the insanity to pass, and you would do all you could to break down her delusion about you by not doing anything that reinforced it.

Now, it is not that simple, but I'm just trying to establish the mindset.

GC

Read the response by Cerri on Plan A

cerri's response on plan A

Thank you, I feel like i'm the one in the fog..and should I contact Om's work and friends and family?

Michael~~

If OM is married, you should contact OMW and encourage her to tell her friends and in-laws. If not, hm. Not sure.

GC

Om is not married, and just purchased a home with his father, Should I inform his friends and family and work and co-workers?

Michael~~

Where can I find POJ and other surverys for me and ww to take..and any other questionairs that may help...

Michael~~

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Mschluter:
<strong> Where can I find POJ and other surverys for me and ww to take..and any other questionairs that may help...

Michael~~ </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I assume your WW doesn't want to stop the A & hostile toward you ... at this point it is an LB'ng if you try to get her to fillin questionairs.

Plan A ... Plan A ... Plan A

-rh-

WW wants to try the surverys and wants to stop contact but does not know how......She admits she is confused...

Michael~~

I guess I don't understand Plan A and I must be missing something? Can anyone please break it down to simple terms, What do I need to do to make Plan A and what is Plan A..I just am not getting it, everyone says plan A , Plan A but I think I am and yet I don't please anyoine help...

Michael~~

The only way you will grasp a full understanding of the concepts here is to read the book Surviving An Affair and the other books written by Williard Harley. You can order them via this website or check your local library or book store. Also read the concepts on Plan A and Plan B that are on this site as well as the rest of all the articles on this site.

Do not rely solely on answers to threads you start. Get the info straight from Dr. Harley's writings. You will get a better idea of exactly what you should be doing. Your marriage is depending on it.
Good luck to you!

Look at the link in my sig.

Take Care,

C.