Hey Folks,
I went on EBAY last week and purchased an advanced copy of the movie CLOSER starring Julia Roberts, Clive Owen & Jude Law, if you want a movie that will make you think about R, A and the gruesome outcomes of betrayal, simply strap in tightly and watch this movie. I recieved it on Friday and I've already watched it thrice! I'm not sure if watching it is a good thing or a bad thing <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> I am so tempted to lend it to my STBXW to watch, but I fear it will only push me into a place of indecision, which is torture! I guess the only reason why I wanted her to see it is to share my feelings about so many things, and on second thought, our choices have been made.

Today is not a good day.

See this movie.

FM

Thanks for the tip, FM! I bought the movie Unfaithful a couple of weeks ago and thought it was wonderful! It was so real all the way down to the addictive nature of affairs. I will check out the one you recommended.

Always so good to see you again! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

FM! Hey! It is good to "see" you! Let Lynn and I know when you'll be appearing around the NY area. (If not, guess we'll have to visit our old stomping grounds!)

We both cringe at the trailers. Honestly don't know if we could sit through it. I mean, ****, we're living it, trying to deal with it daily...why would we want to subject ourselves to such torture?!?!? Did enough of that on my own, rather than paying for it too!

Hey, pass the sno-caps anyway.

We saw this at the theater just this past Friday. We went to the theater on a whim and that was the only movie playing that had not started already. We knew nothing about it other than the movie poster had Julia Roberts on it. If we had seen this movie a few years ago, we probably would have liked it but it was a very painful movie to sit through. I really wanted to walk out a few time but was hoping it would get better. It never did. The movie was not bad just too painful to watch.

A few years ago, I would have thought this movie was "out there". But not anymore. It seems that this type of behavior is more common than I really ever wanted to admit. It is painful to watch another man come on to another woman when the gf is just in the other room.

It was too painful to talk about this movie that evening but we did talk about it the next day. I have never had a movie move me as much as this one did. I am wondering how many others in that theater were like us.

Keith

I was just reading this thread yesterday and a funny thing happened last night.

My wife rented this movie last night. We watched it togther. First time we sat in the same room for such a period of time. She was involved in a tear long EA that I busted up by informing OMW. Wife has hated me ever since. The movie didn't spur any conversation, but it made me think about things. Makes me wonder about what level of deception she has.

One thing though - thins week she seems a bit more 'friendly'. We had a bit of a blow out Monday. Turned into a three stage argument. I got a lot of things out there. Maybe some of it is sinking in.

Hi,

I saw the movie Unfaithfull a couple of days b4 d-day. It actually helped me make my decision to install a key-logger. I think that most movies do treat the addictive nature of the A pretty well but I think that none (at least all I have seen, and I haven't seen Closer) don't really show what BS go through. BS are usually shown as vengative people who want to get back at their WS and OP. I guess that if I hadn't been a BS myself I would have portrayed the character the same way that movies do. I'm not saying that Hollywood has it wrong, maybe it is just that what BS in MB have lived is not interesting enough to make a movie. Just MHO.

I think I would like to watch this movie as well but am afraid - the hurt is still to new. Did this help you - help you with understanding the why? of an A. Or did it just make it all so real. I have stopped being so depressed lately and have taken a new approach to everything. If he is gonna cheat I can not stop him. I know it will come out in time. If he is still cheating then the M will be over. No more chances as I will not go thro this again.

WH asked me about this movie when we were out for dinner together last night. One of his other addictions is buying DVDs. I told him that it would be right up his alley.

And no, I haven't seen it. Maybe if it's on TV at some date and probably then for Clive Owens.

I thought "Unfaithful" was an excellent representation of my affair (although the genders were reversed).

Sometimes we find ourselves feeling straightjacketed by the very life we've worked so hard to build. The stable home and family are wonderful but can we still be daring and desirable?

The part of the movie I most identified with was when Diane Lane was driving her SUV and ran over all the cones in a last minute panic exit to go to the city to see her lover.

That scene so succinctly illustrates the nature of the addiction. We fear that if we let it go, that we'll lose touch with that part of ourselves the affair feeds. We love seeing ourselves as exciting, daring, and desirable. We fear we can never find that again.

Searching for that same feeling inside of my marriage has been a goal of our recovery...to become "lovers". But part of being in an affair is throwing caution to the wind and trying things that cause you to step beyond who you think you are. I was willing to engage in exciting behaviours that I may not have ever considered otherwise.

How many times do we see WS here who said they did things with their OP that they could never imagine doing with their spouse?

Low