Is there anyone out there who as a child experienced their parents infidelity?

Just curious on how you felt about that and what kind of reaction you had. How did it effect your future relationships with both your parents and/or future partners?

Miker

I'm so glad you asked this question. I'm also interested in how the child feels. I want to know at what age do they speak up for themselves about it all and how their relationship with the Wayward Parent is.....

My dad cheated on my mom, then left for the OW. I was 12 when he left.

My mom then had a R with a MM.

It certainly left me with issues about whether or not my future H would cheat on me. In all of my Rs in high school I was seeking more than what I was getting. Some kind of guarantee that my bf wouldn't cheat on me. I wanted to know that I would do better than my mom.

I'll post again later - I need to get back to work...

Cat

My father, whom I adored and worshipped, cheated on my mother, and introduced me to the OW (who 2 years later became my SM) when I was in third grade.

I later found out my mother had also been dallying around and ended up marrying her OM too.

What a twisted perspective on Marriage to grow up with -- I have the complete opposite view from Cat A -- that cheating is somewhat "acceptable" behavior, if you are not happy in your marriage.

But I have not and will not cheat on my spouse.

Not that I haven't been tempted.

I too have things to get done today but have some things to say on this subject if anyone is interested.

StillLovingHim

I suspect my mom may have had a ONS or a EA based on advice she's given and once, when I was 18, I read a old journal of hers that talked about a OM. I quickly stopped reading when I discovered it was not about my dad. My parents are still together and are beautiful to be around.

FIL had a A when his wife was pregnant with their 3rd child. A OC and a divorce was the result. After the divorce FIL met a nice woman (not the OW) and married her 12 years ago. My WH began his A right after we discovered I was pregnant with our 2nd child. Coincidence? At least OW isn't pregnant...

My mother had an A and M'd the OM. They have been M'd for over 25 years now. Not a happy M though. He has never been fully accepted or liked by us kids. I had to watch my F cry for almost a year straight after that. It also financially ruined our family.

Yet, I did almost the same evil my M did and had an A. I did wake up and realize that OM was not what I wanted and did not want to put myself before my children any longer. My M never did put us first. BTW, I have forgiven her, hope I do not sound bitter.

My mother left our home when I was 15. I found out she married the OM when I went to see her on my 16th birthday. I went from top 10 (not 10% - 10) in my school to bottom 10. Screwed me up pretty bad, frankly. Abused, neglected, and finally abandoned by my mother. My father got full custody.

20 years later, I ended up marrying a girl who cheated on me within one year. (No kids, thank G_d!)

In dealing with that infidelity, I came to grips as best I could with my mother's betrayal, culminating in a couple of days with her at her home. Mom turned out to be a wounded child as well. It helped me let go of alot of pain, being able to see her as just a flawed human like everyone else.

Soooo, it just recently came to my attention that a family move when I was 6 was due to *another* earlier affair my mother had. My dad stuck with her, moved us all away from his rising career, and relocated us in a new town. I am 41 years old now. My father has *never* said a word about it, or a bad word about her. I never saw him cry. He is some kind of hero. (He is remarried, and my step-mother is wonderful.)

So, now Mom is in a nursing home, and basically out of her mind. There will be no *working through* this with her. All the old feelings from my 16th birthday came back. Grr.
Nice how someone's bad decision can reverberate for *DECADES*

At least I have a better perspective on how I seem to keep trying to *fix* whatever went wrong with Mom and Dad in my relationships by being attracted to women with similar problems as my mother. No more "project women!!"

Infidelity was not good for me as a child. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />
Hasn't exactly been a picnic as an adult either <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

What is an ons? I keep looking for that def. thing.

Well for me when I found out that my mother cheated on my dad when I was 17(now 19) we also found out that me, my brother and my youngest brother who is now 2 are outerwedlocks kids and that the only child that is by my dad is my little sister.

Lets just say that my grades plummeted and that started harrassing women, so much so that I almost got expelled and I needed therapy for a year to correct my views on women.

Lets also say that the phrase "that's not what your mom said last night" takes on a whole new meaning!