I was wondering how do I let myself start feeling again if I have no doubt that my WH will someday 2 years, 5 years whenever except contact from OW. It has been 3 years since EA 2 years from last contact but have discovered several instants where he has posted in hopes of a response from her, she did not respond. But last May she made a request from him (through this internet site which he does not frequent any more per my demand) and he immediately responded to her, I intervened so she did not know that he did, and he has disappeared from that sight. I said I was DONE but for the sake of the kids a graduation and a wedding we stayed together so we would not ruin things for them at that time. Since then he has been the model husband and I know he loves me and wants us to grow old together and is very remorseful. Though I do have love,comittment,care for him and want to continue to share my life with him I don't feel the love I once felt for him. I think it is because I have excepted the fact that this OW has a hold on him and that I know someday they will contact each other again for nothing else but to see how each other is doing. If I don't let myself get to emotionally bonded it won't hurt so bad and it will be easier to leave. I know this isn't good for either of us. I want to feel but I am afraid and when I do feel something I am crying all the time. I haven't told him I love him for a year now because I don't feel the same way I use to about him. He is very understanding and feels he has ruined things for us, and is hoping for the day I can say those words to him. Am I missing out on a good recovery because of my own fears and how do I move foward?

What do you think it will take to give yourself some closure?

Can you call Steve @ MB for a recovery plan?

L.