My divorce was originally set to be Nov 15th. Then my husband emailed me and said that he had to have a lawyer there, blah blah blah. Then emailed me a few days later and said never mind the lawyer, *he* had to be there. So he rescheduled the hearing for Nov 28th when he will be visiting his parents for Thanksgiving (I live close to his parents, he lives in Puerto Rico).

My original intent over this was that I did not want to go to court. I'm having second thoughts on that.

I have not seen my husband in exactly one year. At that time he asked me for the Harley numbers for counseling. He did start counseling but only called a couple of times. SH pushed him a little hard, I think, but ultimately, it was my h's own choice to stop the counseling.

Anyway, part of me thinks I need to see/hear him lie that our differences are irreconcilable. Part of me believes that he NEEDS TO FACE ME and what he's doing. Out of sight, out of mind...I think all of this has been way too easy for him.

I do not hope for any outcome in regards to my marriage. I'm just wondering if it might not be better for me to be there and see it end. And for him to face what he's done.

I need advice here...should I go or no?

Aislinn, why don't you post this in the 'Divorced' Forum as well. I'm sure that there are many people there who can offer you some good advice. Hope you are looking after yourself. TT

GO! Do not remove yourself from the process. Do not let your WH take the easy way out. Or yourself for that matter. There may be things that come up that are a surprise. Do you want to take that chance?

I think the keyword is CLOSURE. See him face-to-face. Make it real for him...for you, too. Part of being wayward is being a coward. Cowards lie and deceive. Cowards avoid conflict. Don't be a coward yourself. Sit in that courtroom and look that $%#@*# straight in the eye. I remember your posts from when I first start on this board a year ago. I think you've done the MB thing. You can sit there proudly. HE is the one who should cower in shame.

As my son would say, "Face your fears!" You were there when the marriage was made. You did what you could to save this marriage. You should be there when the marriage ends.

Hi Maddy! I don't really have any advice but wanted to say "hi".

I will do that, TT. I am looking after myself :-). Doing well, just get the sad days and jitters once in awhile..like now when I think of the hearing and of seeing him again. How can it be that I have not seen him in one year and barely talked to him since my Plan B in February, but I still have strong feelings? Thought they were supposed to go away??

Grapegirl, I tend to agree with you on every point.

FF***hugs***..how're ya doing? I have not visited I'ville in awhile...I should do so...it just go so crowded in there for a bit!

Doing ok, Maddy. Visit, we are not so crowded these days. We even get down to the 2nd or 3rd pages sometimes!

^bump^

Let me also throw my vote in there for going. I believe that it is important to fully experience all the emotions, that lends itself to grieving the loss and moving forward. You mentioned that there are still some struggles within yourself and it could be that you are stuck in the grieving process. Maybe this will be what you need to keep on keeping on. If your husband would have died I would presume that you would have went to his funeral, well this is the death of your marriage.

Hey girl. So sorry about all this. You still have my number? Call or email any time, ok?
I am going to be traveling up your way more often over the next few months, so we should get together for coffee again. Stuff like that is good and helps.
Hugs.