For all that the roller coaster continues to flux, it's hard to believe where I am now compared to a year ago: the A was hot and heavy and appeared to be growing by leaps and bounds. In retrospect I think it was spiraling tighter and tighter, getting ready to implode.

I was so desperate a year ago today, and yet hopeful, too. For the first time I had a plan that went beyond just being nice, attentive, and making home inviting. I knew what the next step should be, beyond just giving up and kicking him out if he didn't break off the A, which is what I was on the verge of doing.

Today, life is boring by comparison, which is wonderful. He's still asleep, but probably missing my snuggles right now <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />, and when he gets up he plans to work on Neaksis' house and then go prospecting with my brother (who has been unstoppably excited that gold is now up over $600/oz). It's all very mundane stuff.

When he gets up, he will eat breakfast. We will take a shower. He will put on undies, socks, and a T-shirt, and his pants one leg at a time. Tennis shoes and maybe a sweatshirt, and he will be ready for his placid day. I will kiss him goodbye and wave as he drives off with my brother, with no worries (well, hardly any - I am honest) that somehow he will sneak in contact without my knowing.

The trust level is vastly different than what it was, having gradually made the switch from trusting that he IS contacting her, to trusting that he is not.

Whatever problems we have, and trust me, we do have them, I know he loves me and cherishes me in a way that a year ago I wondered if I would ever see again.

Well, my part of this mundane day has to get started, since I'm pretty sure the kids have a meeting with their teacher this morning and I'm still in my pajamas. But I couldn't close this little ramble down memory lane without a huge thank you to everyone here who helped me reach the place I am now. God sent you into my life, and I will always be grateful.

[color:"red"] THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [/color]

Love to you and AJ Neak.

- Kimmy

Not so,

I don't think we have posted to one another, but I have read many of your posts. Several have offered me encouragement including this one.

I crave for some "boredom" and "familiarity" again and contact with my wife. Hopefully that will come before it is all too late.

Till then, congrats on your progress and keep up the hard work.

Your MB friend,

WOL

And SQUIDGES to Kimmy! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Thank you, WOL. I don't always make it out on the main board; there are many days I have to focus on just getting one foot to go in front of the other, but I read when I can. I am so glad my experience, trying though it was, has been able to bring hope to others.

I have all faith that boredom and familiarity will eventually set in. But you can't see it coming until it hits you. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

***Just to be clear, this is one year of MB, not one year of R...not quite yet.***

I see, but that is still a victory. Stay working hard though.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

WOL

NotSo, I don't think I have replied to you yet either, but I have followed your story and admire your courage and strength. If you keep the sense of humor you show in your posts, I think you could accomplish anything you set out to do!

Hi Cherise, wow! You have been here a lot longer than I have! My sense of humor has been a Godsend, very literally. I still need to work on it a bit when the Dervish does things like help himself to the gallon jug of lemonade, and spills it on the table, chairs, and floor. (This happens regularly.) Most everything else there is at least a grain of funny in it. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

My family disagrees with me. They all think that anything involving the Dervish is funniest of all. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

Anyway, nice to finally meet ya.