Over on WOW's thread.
What it ever be ok for WOW to tell OW:
"Either you find a new job or I will tell your H." Maybe the OW would leave in order protect her M. I can sure see where OWH could be an *ss over this being a cop.
I didn't want to post this on her thread - I could be WAY OFF base with this.
thnx
M2L,
For me that would be okay. I think whatever she has to do to get rid of her would be fine. Anything to bring her actions to the light of day, and to get her away from Wow.
I would then tell her husband after she quit. I'm sorry, I know that is speaking with a forked tongue, to tell her you won't if she quits...but I would still do it.
I don't know if that is ethical though. The others need to answer that. I believe all is fair when you mess with someone elses family.
I can sure see where OWH could be an *ss over this being a cop.
Wow's husband should tell the cop himself. He didn't mind [email]scr@wing[/email] his wife for a year behind his back. So who was really the jerk here?
Time to take the knife out and own up to the consequences.
Don't you think the cop has a right to know?
>Don't you think the cop has a right to know?
Yes.
And since he's a cop, he better dayum well handle himself on the up and up.
My first thought was, "So what, he's a cop?" He isn't any more above the law than anyone else....He takes the info to further hose Wow's WH, then he could be asking for a world of trouble from his department.
It's a lot of focus on the wrong dude if you ask me.
Wow needs to protect herself from the infidelity...and senor coppeaceman deserves to be able to do the same, imo.
IMO, this is War.
You do whatever you have to do within the Geneva Convention, more or less.
There must be a Geneva Convention article about dealing with OPs. If there isn't there should be.
WH should tell all to OW's BH, up front. And he should also tell him his wife needs to quit since she is, well, stalking, in a word.
Why should she get the cosy job out of this while WOW leaves hers?
Consequences suck for the APs. Consequences are good. The more consequential the better.
I was removed from my position (not fired, but transferred) because of who FWW had her VLTA with. Hate to see anything similar happening to WOW.
WH should tell all to OW's BH, up front. And he should also tell him his wife needs to quit since she is, well, stalking, in a word.
Why should she get the cosy job out of this while WOW leaves hers?
Consequences suck for the APs. Consequences are good. The more consequential the better.
I was removed from my position (not fired, but transferred) because of who FWW had her VLTA with. Hate to see anything similar happening to WOW
Yes, WH should step up to the plate. He is being a coward and letting his W handle his mess.
"He is being a coward and letting his W handle his mess."
The operative definition of a WS, from beginning to end.
Cowards all.
M2L,
For me that would be okay. I think whatever she has to do to get rid of her would be fine. Anything to bring her actions to the light of day, and to get her away from Wow.
I would then tell her husband after she quit. I'm sorry, I know that is speaking with a forked tongue, to tell her you won't if she quits...but I would still do it.
I don't know if that is ethical though. The others need to answer that. I believe all is fair when you mess with someone elses family.
Oh I like that. I agree, all is fair in love and war and this is sure a war.
I have thought a 1,000 times while reading here that I would HATE to ever cross a BW. I shudder to think about it.
I do think that there is a lot more going on between the two WS though. Still texting each other - come on now.
"I have thought a 1,000 times while reading here that I would HATE to ever cross a BW. I shudder to think about it."
I feel the same. As a BH, society's make-nice laws tell me that a real man basically has to suck it up.
BW's get a lot more latitude, IMO. And they should use it to the hilt , too.
I have to tell you Appy...
The WW in your life...every once in awhile, I get this urge to take my chankla off and beat the tar outta her.
M2L and Appy...
I'm a pussycat....really....
Honest...
(evil grin)
I think forewarning the OW about exposure and using it as a threat will disarm WOWZER of the ONLY WEAPON she possesses. This is a cruel, calculating OW who is very scheming and she will use this information to harm WOW and benefit herself, I have no doubt.
For example, if WOW comes to her and makes this threat, all the OW has to do is go to her H and tell her that WOW has lost her freaking mind; that she imagines that OW is chasing her husband. So, when and IF [and I really think it is IF because I don't believe WOW wants to defend herself] WOW does go to the OWH, her credibility will be shot because she has been pre-empted. He will instead get mad at her for trying to stir up trouble.
And if you think this scheming little b*tch won't do that, I don't think you fully grasp how calculating she really is. After all, this is a ho-bag who sought a job with the BS when she was screwing her H. This is gloryb material here.
I agree, Mel.
Whomever said that OW wanted WOW's life, job, husband, car, haircolor, kids, house...etc. hit the nail head on.
I know this from experience. OW like that PLAN these things out....they've got every step mapped out....down to gunning for the BW's job.
BTDT...got the tshirt...and TORCHED IT!
Right now, OW is keeping quiet and meek to play her cards...
WOW has a HUGE ACE the OW has her frightened to put it out there...
THAT scares the bejeebers outta me...the only way to gain her life back and WOW is scared of the OW getting hurt?
Mel,
That's why in the best scenario WOW's H does the confession to OW's H.
WOW telling him with no forwarning is second best.
But, like you, I have to add: if anything happens at all.
And if you think this scheming little b*tch won't do that, I don't think you fully grasp how calculating she really is. After all, this is a ho-bag who sought a job with the BS when she was screwing her H. This is gloryb material here
I agree 100% that OW is playing very dirty. I also agree that WOW may not do anything to help herself other than wish the problem would just go away.
It really does take some brass to get a job with the BW.
"(evil grin)"
Is this one of those Cheshire Cat things? Err, evil Cheshire Cat, that is.
Can you slowly disappear except for your sharply filed fangs?
I wish they had an icon with devil horns and a little grin.
Mel,
That's why in the best scenario WOW's H does the confession to OW's H.
WOW telling him with no forwarning is second best.
But, like you, I have to add: if anything happens at all.
I am thinking it would be best for WOW to just tell him herself to make sure he gets the truth. If left to the WS or the OW, he is unlikely to get the truth. Then, once he is told the truth by WOW, the WS, if he has a shred of remorse, can go to the OWH and apologize to him. But, IMO, he is more certain of getting the truth if WOW tells him with the infidels not knowing in advance. They can be told afterwards, though.
Hey, could somebody let us loose on that whack job? Us MB folk could really do some damage. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
Who you gonna call?
AFFAIR BUSTERS!
We be a force to reckon with.
Unfortunately the only path to this whack job OW is thru WOW and I get the feeling that she won't be back. Hope I'm wrong.
This exposure thing is daunting at frist. I know when I was new around here (last summer) people told me to expose to OMW. I guess I did it without thinking too much about it. Mrs.W talked me into it. Know what? It wasn't as bad as I thonght it would be. Worked well in fact. You people know that though.
I see more and more people lately coming here for advise and when they are told something they don't like, they leave. I guess for you Vets around here that is the norm.
A Busters - that's a good one. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> A group of MB vets traveling around the counrty in a motor home helping to expose and bust up A. Put the A Team to shame.
I do think that there is a lot more going on between the two WS though. Still texting each other - come on now.
WHAAAAAAAATTT????
WOW from yesterday:
"Yes according to both of them it ended a year ago. He claims he was texting her to keep her quiet. "To appease her so she didn't tell me." They had been texting for quite a while before I found the messages. (I actually don't know if the texting stopped after the Affair) I didn't and don't buy it either, but I have to move forward past that. And to further complicate she claims he was trying to start it up again, he claims she was trying to start it up again. Who knows?!?! "
Yep.
I think she is afraid to face it head on. Kind of like a defense mechanism that kicks in when you can't emotionally handle something.
Hello everyone. I'm still here. I know you all know I don't like to hear it, but I'm a big girl. I can take it. I have been seriously contemplating about telling him. It's just something I don't want to rush into. It's true that I'm very afraid to handle it head on. The emotions that this whole thing has put into me just sucks! To me it's a very complex issue and I think I'll start a new thread about exposure. But just wanted to let you all know that I am still here and I'm reading what you're saying, and I'd probably say the same thing that you guys are saying, I'm just scared.
Yes WOW,
I was leery of exposure too, but you did nothing wrong - they did.
Do you see that this whack job OW wants your life? Wants to be you?
You need to put as much distance between you/your H and her as you can.
Take a look at how long some of these people have been here. They have seen this crap many many times. They also know the best path out of this crap.
What do you say???