Marriage Builders
I know there are SEVERAL Killer Bees who have court for one reason or another next week (April 23 - Apil 27). Could you please just check in here and tell us your court date and what kind of "hearing" or whatever it will be, and then we can be praying for ya -AND- check up on each other on what could be a rather tough day.

THANKS!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
Hi... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

April 27th...Custody, CS, Use of Home...

I have to be there for 9am...

F is getting excited that we maybe able to move home...

I'm nervous! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />

Feeling pretty good today! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />
Me.

April 24th 9 AM District Court in Golden Colorado.

a Preliminary Staus Meeting.

I can't wait.

I think I will look up Escort Services in the Yellow Pages and bring a date.
April 26th...Temporary Sole Custody hearing
10am
Good lord! So much drama!

Rin, I so hope that you can get back home. Your boys need it, and you do too.

Chris, all I can say is "Give em h3ll!"

BC, you are a man among men, protecting and caring for your child.
LOL...Still waiting for E to check in...he's in the lot too! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Thanks SL!
Chrisner,

What about that chick Kobe Bryant was doing? Is she available? Just don't try putting anything in her butt. I didn't seem like she cared for that much.

Good Luck!

wait...maybe this post doesn't belong in a thread about praying for each other?

maybe I should move it to the HO down thread?
Here I am. Thanks for holding me a spot, Strivin.

April 27, 9:30am

First mediation session. I guess everything unresolved gets put on the table for discussion - finances, property, final custody, child support, alimony, etc. I am supposed to meet with my lawyer Thursday to discuss things.

But also pray for me as WW and I will hopefully have some fruitful discussions this Friday (4/20).
How about sdguy? When does he go to court? Isn't it soon-ish?

And BC, I am not even SURE what to pray about for you! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> I think you need an extra prayer or two after mentioning putting something in Kobe Bryant's butt on a PRAYER THREAD! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />X2!!!

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> Haha--gotcha!

chrisner, I sure you would look MIGHTY FINE pulling up the Jeffco Courthouse with Kobe Bryant's wistress. I think she's working as a waitress at some fancy restaurant in Aspen. Ooops! I forgot. They're ALL fancy there! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

You guys CRACK ME UP! I think we may need to see what the Yankee HO is doing that day!


~~CJ
chris, sorry for you, going to the Taj. I hate that place.
CJ,

I said HER butt! Kobe's still trying to pull his wife's boot out of his!
Eph, good luck to you, too! I'll say to all what I said to Wildhorses (whose date with the devil was today!" Be Cool, boy, real cool...
RLT,

The Taj looks so stupid and out of place there. What a waste of money. Man, is this going to suck or what!

And guess what that day is? The 26th anniversary of my proposal at guess where? Red Rocks. We married exactly 2-weeks later in a little chapel in Denver.

(:{}<<<<<<< Puking Sigmund Freud
We need to make an emoticon thread...
Me! April 26 at 2:00. Settlement conference.

LilSis
Okay--and now I remember...sdguy got a continuance. So we have FIVE of our Killer Bees going to court next week.

Alright people. Time to get on your game faces. Repeat after me: "That MAY be your opinion, but mine differs greatly! (and I have proof!)"

Remember, almost everything your WS says or does is going to be an attempt to make you react, so no matter WHAT outrageousness demands or requests come out of their mouths, you just be factual and say, "That may be how you see, but my point of view is extremely different."

Now...for court prep 101.


~~CJ
"That MAY be your opinion, but mine differs greatly!

"That may be how you see, but my point of view is extremely different."

HOw did I do?
“Listen here you **** ******* mattress thrashing, cheap painted ***** *** ****!!!!
If you think I am going to give a **** ******** nickel to a *** ******** of Great Dane’s ***** **** and your jug headed attorney ………"

…..ummm I will keep working on it.
Nice try chrisner....uh...keep practicing....

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

Strivn: VERY GOOD!! Now, can you say it with him in the room, saying things like, "Everything was fine until she had an affair" or "I did everything to keep our marriage together, and she just left me for no reason" or "Strivn has abused the children by (insert B.S. reason here)." THAT will be the real test!! When he pushes your BIGGEST, REDDEST button...are you ready?

LilSis--you practicing out there? Because I guarantee you, your WS is practicing pushing your buttons and he is VERY good at it.



~~CJ
"That MAY be your ***** ******* ****** opinion, but mine actually makes since!

"That may be how your ***** ***** ***** ****** brain sees it, but my point of view actually makes sense!"

gettin closer
Oh, Chris, you sweet talker...
Quote
Strivn: VERY GOOD!!

(:O............o (spitball)

See how the teachers always favor the girls BC.
I have to say, in my current state of mind, I like the phrases the Chrisner and BC have come up with, but I will not use them when my time comes, I pwomise.

Oh, and totatally OT, but I was checking who is online right now. It amazes me that I know so many names now, as opposed to a year ago. Weird.
*Splat* Getting nailed with a spit-wad

HEY!! Who's doin' spit wads without me! No Fair!!

Okay, chrisner and BC--you can do it. Go slow....

[i] That
may
be
YOUR
opinion
(think but do not say out loud: "...you lying, conniving, evil spawn of Satan." Pause for effect instead.)

Mine
differs
GREATLY!!"

Now, you try...
GIRLS REWL
Okay, okay, okay CJ. Let me try again.

That.......
may....be....
YOUR................
opinion.....
but......

If you think I'm gonna....You can go suck on the snotty end of a rhino's........

Damn, CJ this is tough. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

BC, help me out here.
Okay Chris...YOU leave me NO choice...I HAVE to break out the potatoe gun!


OOOOOO....POOF!


<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />
Yep, I'm off the hook for another month. I'll be sending out positive vibes for everyone, though.

The best way to stay calm is to pay lots of attention to your breathing.

At least, that's what I think they said. It was hard to hear around the oxygen mask and the paramedics carting off that Sippy Cup sales rep.
Sorry I missed the fun. I was having an interesting evening with WW. I might not have to say that stuff after all. WW is starting to cave.

Check out my thread.

Oh BTW, you can defend yourself from Rin's potato gun with a tennis racket.
Hey BC,

I will miss you in Mrs. CJ’s detention hall.
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LilSis--you practicing out there? Because I guarantee you, your WS is practicing pushing your buttons and he is VERY good at it.
Ya think?

Actually, I think that WH and I will not even see one another (according to my attorney). This is just the first of a "I want this, you want that" kinda meeting....of which I will make SURE there are PLENTY. My sister said she was in one room, her XH was in another room, and the attorneys were in a third room (ca-ching), and the attorneys would run back and forth....but she was in another county so it might not be done exactly the same way. Weird, too, because WH is working that day; which means he'll probably show up in uniform...GAG!!!!

(Speaking of "in uniform," did I ever tell you all about how in the little local/weekly paper a few weeks ago, there's a big picture of WH reading aloud to a classroom of 1st graders at the local elementary school. "Awwww...isn't that NICE...the neighborhood cop reading to the little children. What a GREAT GUY!" Made me ill. I can't REMEMBER the last time he read to his own kids.)

Regarding court...I will not go gently into that good night.

BTW...good catch CJ on all the court talk. It is weird that so many of us are in very similar timelines...

Next week you can change the thread title to "Killer B court updates"
I was wondering the same thing LilSis, about so amny of us?

Perhaps all of our WS can meet, since their ALL great people! SO, helpful, I tell you! LMAO
It'd be fun to watch them try to out selfish each other.
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Perhaps all of our WS can meet, since their ALL great people! SO, helpful, I tell you! LMAO

I am not sure I would want to see that Strivn. All those whips, rubber undies, tubs of butter....yuch.
ewwwwwww, you had to say butter, didn't ya...
I second the motion! Thankssss, Chris!
Let's see 5 more days to court for me and E...

Four more days for BS and LilSis...

Two more for Chris...

Anyone else?
Chris, how are you doing? Would love to hear from you!

Just thinking Tues.'s coming fast for you now! I'm wishing you the best and praying for you!

Oh, I heard J.Lo is available Tues., how about her?
Hi Strivn,

Just saw this post. I hope you had a great Louisiana weekend! I am doing well. Another great weekend with DD19. T-minus 24.4 hours to Judge Wopner!

J Lo would be fine by me. Maybe in that little green and blue number she wore to the Oscars a few years ago.

82 days of Plan B. 74 days zero contact.

The 90 day cooling period for the D is up on May 24th.

I am sure Wayzilla is dancing on my grave already.

Wayzilla vs Little Green chrisner
I know it seems simple or even silly, but I feel like this is my community of friends. You guys are my friends, sight unseen. I feel stressed for you all. I hope you all have a good day at court, like a good day on the battlefield.

[color:"red"] “It’s the unconquerable soul of man, not the nature of the weapon he uses, that insures victory.”

"You shouldn't underestimate an enemy, but it is just as fatal to overestimate him.”

"No sane man is unafraid in battle, but discipline produces in him a form of vicarious courage."

General George S. Patton [/color]
LMAO, CHris...you're a nut! best wishes tomorrow and glad you enjoyed your weekend.

SL- I love you too! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> Smile! Appreciate the support!
Where is our hostess to change the thread title when we need it?

I think that she blew out the candles on the cake and make a wish to go live among the fairy under the mushroom tops! THe place where the softest bed is a dandelion away! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

I think that she could have joined Peter Pan and Tinkler Bell and SHE'S NOT SHARING THE PIX DUST! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

What is this world coming too? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />
HEY BEES,

Sorry I didn't catch this thread last week. My date was 4/20 for custody.

I was awarded primary custody. No visits with WW while OM present for at least a month. And when she asked the court to force me to give kids passports - they laughed <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />.

No practice was needed on what to say, my over-priced attorney did what she was paid to do.

Good thing, I was going to use that mattress thrashing, evil spawn of satan line.
Good for you! Congrads! I would have felt on top of the world!

So, what's ahead for you? ANy more court dates? How are you?
reaching, I'm so happy for the decision in your favor. Good job!
Who's up today? Someone is...little prayers going out.

Someone posted a schedule, too lazy to look, and late for work. I kinda wish I was earlier in the week...Thursday at 2 gives waaay too much time to feel nauseated...

Good news, reaching.
Chrisner goes today, 9am Colorado time.

T-minus 3 days for me.

I agree LilSis - too much time to think and feel, mind wandering, stomach churning, etc.

Hang in there everyone!
Yeap, I'm there with E on Friday...

And BC is with you LilSis...

Bc and I are Central time!

Chris, wishing you well man! I hope you practiced enough or do you feel like you'll need detention after today also? LOL <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
Thinking of you, chrisner! Hope it all goes well.
Chris, don't forget your light saber; May the SCWARTZ be wich yououououououou! All kidding aside, I hope your recovery from today is quick!
finger tapping...
thumbs twiddling.........
Throwing sharpened pencils at the drop ceiling...
pickin' my nose.......


Did you survive, chrisner? All joking aside, we're thinking of you.
Hi all. I put the main report on my thread. I can't thank you all enough for the support I get here. I love you all!

Without this site I really can not imagine where I would be right now. You are all very close friends.

It went very well for me. I do not seem to have any real emotion or reaction left for her at all. If anything it was a strange combo of disgust and pity.

Thank you all again.

PS: WildH, wipe your finger off.
<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />
For those who are following the chrisner/Wayzilla World Cup match, the score is:

chrisner: 45-ish and still cute and darkly funny!

Wayzilla: 1 Gollum and the power of the ring is taking away her hair and turning her sickly gray.

DD19: 100!! And she's smart and good looking like her dad!

Lil Green Guy: 500 and a BRAND NEW CAR! (He actually "got through" to Wayzilla a few times today). PAY THE MAN!

26 year Marriage: <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" /> zero

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />



--CJ
CJ, I wanted to say Bless you for all you are doing for Rin (strvn). It is good to have someone in your corner who has walked many miles in similar shoes.

You are an inspiration to us all; being in a new marriage and dealing with the fallout of your first with such poise, meanwhile, starting threads for the MANY in Plan B right now. You amaze me. You are a goddess...
Silent,

I second what you say about CJ.

Thinking and praying for all you fellow Beees this week with your court dates.

Chris... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Still
Okay, the motion has been passed...CJ plese step forward to accept your award!


***A feather tiara*** LMAO <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
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So, what's ahead for you? ANy more court dates? How are you?

The fun is only beginning.

On the agenda:

First is a court ordered Co-Parenting class - I think they go over sippy cup washing during this class.

Next is a Home Evaluation. Seems kind of worthless at this point, the custody master even agrees with this, since there are no agreements made over who will get the house in the D. I guess WW will have to clean up all of their extracurricular toys from their love shack.

Then the Kids get pulled into it with psycological evaluations etc.

Then back to another round of court dates.

The stress level doesn't get any lower at this point.
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The stress level doesn't get any lower at this point

Any lower? Mine is pretty high, TBH...

I couldn't sleep last night to save my life! I did a little and woke up with a headache...

Waiting to hear from my laywer...
BC and LilSis are heading to the plate tomorrow.

Strivn and Eph are in the batter's box for Friday.

Good luck you guys. Stay frosty!

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I guess WW will have to clean up all of their extracurricular toys from their love shack.

I would call HazMat. Yuch!
STBX's A is asking for a continous...we'll see! Waiting to hear what's up
I just confirmed with my A that the 26th hearing is cancled.
WW has conceded custody until the hearing officer meeting on the 4th.

My A and her A are friends and her A knows she's getting a better deal by cooperating with me. He knows what I want and thinks it's fair and appropriate. So in a sense he's on my side although he's representing WW. Sounds like Chris's sitch almost.

I'm feeling good about this right now.

So the killer B's are still on top.

SWEET!!
So we are down to Sis and Eph for this week.

Sis goes in tomorrow and Eph on Friday.

Give en He!! guys!

Quote
I'm feeling good about this right now.

Keep that feeling and confidence BC!
Sorry I missed the thread.... I had my court date yesterday.

It was for PSS and A Fees, I feel I got robed but in the pig picture I am better off. She gets 2000 a month until Oct, she already was getting 1500 for CS and I have 30 days to pay 5K for lawyer fees, which they claimed to 12K. Now I only pay 1K per month and a lump sum of 6K in Oct. She makes about 1600 gross from her work.

Now, she gets the 736$ car payment until sept, she gets to pay car insurance, she gets to pay half of the 3 kids uncovered medical - which all 3 are heading for braces. She also gets to pay boarding for our daughters horse as I can't afford it with marital debts - she asked for it in ED so I am giving her that responsibility.

Net of it she is still short each month

Now we are having a jury trial for alimony that is in october, and I am pretty sure a jury will convict her, sorry wrong court... anyways with things that have happened and things that I have documented I don't think a jury will think she is needing.

I have documented more instances of bad parenting on her part, exposing the kids to things that just are good for a 6 9 and 11yr. So we are moving up our custody hearing to probably in the next couple of weeks

WW has isolated herself from all old friends, even her dearest, they are now better friends with me....

Here is a letter I sent her about the latest children issue

This is in reference to the voice mail I left you on Monday April 23, 2007.

If your not already aware I want to make sure your aware, if you are aware I would like to know what other things you might know that has gone on.

The girl’s behavior has definitely changed over the past couple of months, I know some of it the stress of events between us. Now there are things happening to the girls, our girls have always had a safe and secure environment and I think we both want that for them.

DD6 came this week saying things like, "touch my Weiner" and over the weekend said things to Amber that upset Kelli. I asked DD6 where she heard things and she said at your house, I asked the other girls and they have heard that and worse from the kids at your place.

Today DD6 tried to pull one of my neighbor boys pants down, I don't consider that appropriate and will not tolerate that behavior here, I asked DD^ why she did it, she said she didn't know why, I asked if that had happened to her, she said (neighbor boys 5 & &) tried that with her.

I asked if she had been touched by those boys and she initially said no, but then said, yes and then got really defensive. I left it alone but will have the counselor's explore those issues with the girls when they are seen.

The girls told me that one of the boys Kristen or Dakota urinated in front of them. I asked what they did, they said they ran away. I asked if they told you and they said yes.

You and the girls relayed the story of one of you neighbors friends, being so drunk that he urinated on your house.

I am concerned other items have happened that the girls don't feel comfortable to talk about, that is why I called Clayton Counseling to have them seen as soon as possible. They are on the top of the list and a new children's counselor has started, so we should be seen in the next week or so. I have also asked to speak to the center's director about this so she can make a decision if the girls need to be seen sooner.

DD6 asked again today to stay with me; I thought it might just be her beginning loving. I am concerned now that the might be reason's that she doesn't feel safe there.

Please let me know what more information you have on any of these items, and if there are things that have happened that you choose not to share with me at the time. Please make sure let me know what they are.
Vike,

How do you feel about the custody hearing coming up? Are you going for 50/50 custody or more? It sounds as if the WW and her surroundings are not good for the girls.

I hope WW has to get an 80 hour per week job in the near future.
VR...holy cow. I'm really sorry to hear about what's going on with the girls. Sigh.

BC...good news. I'm up alone tomorrow.

My stomach is in knots. I am certain (as certain as I could ever be about anything ever again in my life, which ain't much) that WH does not want custody, so that's not an issue. If it becomes an issue, it will be a battle, because I have that stupid, stupid, stupid move that I will have to get past. "The incident."

Everyone assures me that what I did under extreme physical and emotional duress and in a moment of passion doesn't stack up against WH's abandonment (which he didn't do according to MIL) and lack of contact with the boys over the past nine months.

I may have made a REALLY bad move, but I am in counseling and I have been the primary care-giver throughout the entire time, taking care of all the parenting stuff alone. I'm sure IC would be able to document my state of mind at the time of the incident as compared to now. And I'm sure it wouldn't reflect well on WH that during the time I was a guest of the county that it was FIL who stayed with the boys, not WH.

Nonetheless, I am scared, scared, scared.

Probably not so much about what will happen tomorrow--because it's just one more insult on top of soooo many, but the whole thing. Divorce. My kids. The end of my marriage. The loss of H. It still seems like a bad dream that I CANNOT wake up from. I swear sometimes I feel like this is all so absurd that it can't really be happening.

I did call my attorney, BTW, but he was gone for the day and will call me tomorrow AM at the office.

So it's down to two...me and Eph.
LilSis

We will be rooting for you and things will be better win you have some finality.
Sis, we are rooting for you. Waiting for your return with abated breath.
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Sis, we are rooting for you. Waiting for your return with abated breath.

I got some life savers Wint O Green if you need one.
You're a looney! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />
Lil...

I was arrested for domestic trespass in november and the judge still awared be 50/50 up from every other weekend.

Stay strong girl
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The stress level doesn't get any lower at this point


I guess I need to re-phrase that one -

The stress level didn't decrease any..

It has actually gotten a little worse - Plan B was doing its thing - I was in a pretty good place emotionally before the hearing, since then I have agreed to talk with her to try to come to an agreement - and it starts all over - the ONLY way to have any peace is to stay darrk.
Wow VR. That whole thing with your girls stinks. That is a slippery slope to sexual abuse and that is something no one needs in their life. BTW, what is PSS?

Just wanted to share one thought I have had regarding our Friday session. I don't know how this will play out, but one option I have thought long and hard about is to take all marital debt but also keep all the assets (401k, home equity, etc). If the custody situation does not change, I don't want her babysitting while I am at work to count for anything and her future visitation rights are every other weekend. I rally cannot image that the GAL can make any decision based on a 1 hour in-home visit at both our home and WW's place. I hope she will talk to family friends and get input there - we could both have been fake for 1 hour.

I think she found some kind of sales job working from home but I am willing to bet she ain't making squat. I don't want her to use staying at home with the kids as a reason to not get a real job. I intend to have DD3 in school next year somehow, and I would love to find something for them somehow in the summer. I have the same large disparity in income between WW and I (though not quite as large as VR)

Sis - praying for you tonight and tomorrow.

I guess I am the lone ranger on Friday <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Tonto say infidelity stink, kemosabe.
Give me a L, Give me and I, Give me a L...

Give me a S, Give me and I, Give me a S...

What's that spell? LILSIS! HURRAY...

GO SIS, GO SIS, GO SIS!

I was never a cheerleader, but my XBF was in college...I must have learned a thing or two...

Cheering you on all the way!

__________________________________________________________

On a side note, I'm still waiting to hear if court will be cancelled tomorrow...no word from my A...

Please pray that it happens and I can move on with this...

_________________________________________________________

Reaching out - I understand...and It's okay...you ARE doing well...

Stick with us...SOMEONE will help you smile! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
Okay, Court has been cancelled for tomorrow and we're waiting on STBX's lawyer to call us about an agreement on CS, and moving back home...

looks like we will be trying to agree to this out of court!

New court date is June 7th...
Great news, Rin! BSs are still up.
Good news Rin! I hope all goes well working toward a settlement!
Strivn,

I am glad you did not have to face him. This sounds very good to me. The weekend can start early!
Sis is it for the week.

Stay in the conference room and let him stew!

There will be Love Busting in Rat Turd Land tonight!
LilSis,

Sending up a prayer for you, positive thoughts, good vibes and whatever else!! Stay calm. Breathe. You will be alright!!

As soon as you can, let us know how it went, okay???


((((((((((((((((((((((((LilSis)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Your faithful friend,



CJ
Still have me on for tomorrow.

WW made a proposal - she wants joint custody with her getting primary physical placement. NOT!!!
Sorry Eph! Good thing they don't have me in charge of the docket. There have been so many moves and cancellations I lost you there for a minute.

How are you doing?
Really dreading things. I felt lousy today but God is good and everyone here has helped pick me up.

I think we probably resolve everything but custody tomorrow, but I have been willing to concede most things she wanted except for custody all along.

In my own thread, I mentioned that she said she would speak with Steve Harley in exchange for her getting primary custody. While I think he can really help in our situation, I don't think it should require that "trade."
MEMO

From: Eph525

To: WW

*****

You chose to leave the marriage
You chose to leave the family
You chose to lose half your time with the kids

Your proposal for joint custody with you getting primary physical placement is unacceptable.

I propose that you leave your adulterous relationship and return home so you can have 100% of your time with the kids.

If you refuse to do that, I propose that we have joint custody, I have primary physical placement since I am the one who has provided the children stability in their home, and you have every Wednesday night and every other weekend.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />
Thanks CJ - so true.

I don't know if we will be in separate rooms or together any at all. Regardless, I have it in my head to say exactly what you wrote.

I even had the idea to tell her "I am ready for you to come home now and forever. That is what is best for us all." when I pick the kids up this afternoon.
Faithful Father God,

Please be with LilSis in court, help her to be strong, and hold her up when she feels weak. Thank you for loving her, caring for her, even carrying her when she needs it. Continue to show her your unending love, mercy, and faithfulness.

Amen
Eph,

Don't you dare sway from your position. And, absolutely NO TRADING especially invoving the children. No way, no how.

Get a summer school program lined up, have the school that you intend to send DD to including positive feedback from other parents whose children attend that school. Be prepared to talk about how friends and family will help you with children. Get it written in the papers that no overnight guests with children present no related by blood or marriage.

Best of luck and prayers for you tomorrow.
Thanks everyone...I feel like I have no clue what is going on...

I don't know if I should think this is good or not...

I feel like I'm in Limbo land...I'm also happy that I don't have to face him...
Reposted from my thread...the B's are still up. I guess I'm considering it a win since I got a reprieve unti August 2!

I only saw WH from a distance. My friend B sort of blocked the view and WH kept a safe distance waaaay down the hall.

I guess this is what happened. My A came in with a list of demands. His A came in with a list of demands. They weren't the same, so nothing more happens until we have to go before the court again on August 2.

Which means I'm covered under his insurance, he pays the house payment, and most important, RT is kept away from the kids until that time.

WH asked for exclusive rights to his pension and retirement in exchange for the house...I'd get it free and clear. He's got a killer pension (union state) and we socked tons into retirement because he was always bound and determined to be sitting pretty when he retired at 53.

My A assured me beyond all doubt that the court would never, ever require me to sell or refinance the house as long as I have minor children. So to me, that means that the house issue is not really a great bargaining chip as it will likely be paid off by the time DS8 graduates. I'd rather pay him the current equity in 10 years than give up all my rights to retirement...I only have a couple of paltry accounts, because we always socked $ into his.

WH also claimed that I have the ability to work full time...intel that he only could have gotten from....wait for it....MIL. The only impact of that anyway will be in factoring CS...it would have come out eventually. Except I don't want to be full time...I want to work 30 hours. I can't swing working 40 with the transportation issues that I have for the kid's school. Oh well...that's for later, I guess.

WH also asked for the boys six weeks in the summer?!?!? ...but I need to be "flexible" due to his work schedule. He does not want to pay spousal support (alimony). He wants a "portion of the photographs, Christmas ornaments, tools, and yard equipment." He wants the mini-van (TAKE IT!) and the Suburban in exchange for the Vibe.

My A asked for spousal support and disporportionate assets due to WH's "long term infidelity." He asked for WH to pay part of the attorney fees. He noted that I will have to secure medical insurance on the open market (not true if I go full time; now I am 80% covered)

That's about it....

Thank God it's over. Thank you all for your prayers and good wishes. Now I can breathe. I am so thankful that B was with me. She was very calm and asked good questions while I'm shaking like a leaf.
Good for YOU! GO Bees!

I'm still waiting to hear! I'll let you know as soon as I do!
Looks like, for now, all's quiet on the Western front, and, seemingly, the eastern one too.

Whew, let's all have a glass of wine and toast the ushering in of the weekend...
Okay...so far the score is:

KILLER BEES: FIVE FOR FIVE!!!
chrisner--He gets what he asked for (DD19) and Wayzilla gets a big ol' dose a REALITY!!
BC--WW agreed for BC to have sole custody of DS (for a year I think!) and then they'll re-evaluate.
LilSis--Didn't even have to see WH so he couldn't manipulate her. WH's demands were silly, LilSis didn't cave--and things stay as they are until the final court date which isn't until August.
Strivn--court was continued to June, but it looks like her STBXH will agree to CS and letting her and the boys move back home!!!
vikingrule--his STBXW was awarded PSS (spousal support) but now that will be counted as income and will lower his CS.

Waywards: ZERO!!!!!



Still up to bat...
Eph525--Still heading to court on Friday. WW wants joint custody with her having primary placement. Eph525 says, "Uh, not just no...but NO!!"
Ah, GEEZ, I forgot about Eph. Crapola, well one more good guy goes up tomorrow. We'll be cheering from the sidelines. I gotta say, Eph seems pretty strong in his convictions, so I'm not nearly as worried for his emotional wellbeing during this, so much as hoping for a good outcome.
And just a clarification....the next court date is Aug. 2...not the final.

We have both made our "demands" and are to report on Aug. 2 to let the judge know where we are in reaching agreement. If there is no agreement at that time, she'll schedule a trial date, which will be another 2-3 months.

Even if there is some agreement at that time, I don't know what the "next steps" are from there. I think there has to be a final something something. It's not just a done deal on Aug. 2.

????
A bit of a departure from my previous posts, but since I am indeed in the same boat with court next week here goes nothing!

I filed and won an ex parte emergency temporary custody order today for my two kids. WS has been out of the house since 22 March and has threatened (among other things) to take the kids out of state. Based on conversation today (after the order was granted, she hasn't been served yet) she ACTUALLY BELIEVES that Kansas will have child custody juristiction, even though we all have lived in North Carolina for over three years (military). She refuses to give me her current address...living with a female friend who "doesn't want any drama at her house", but she got a job yesterday and gave me the address...I guess the Sheriff can serve her there. Court on Wednesday, and I've got quite a bit of evidence of her neglect on my side, plus it was her that left the kids in the first place.

We shall see how it ends up, but so far so good.
Great job LilSis.

Thanks for the vote of confidence SL, but I gotta admit my emotions are all over the place. As you said, I do feel strong in my convictions so I am holding on to that.

Hoping to make us 6-0 for a clean sweep.

Just need to get some stuff ready for tomorrow and get in the bed.

Pray for me.
Brewer- Good for you...I wish you the best of luck...

E- I was talking about God being your biggest fan...LOL...sorry, I'm a fan too...all the same I'm glad it helped...

I've got you covered in my corner with the prayers!
Eph - Good luck today!
A sort of an update, My DD11 has a band trip for May 5, down to Carrollwinds in NC. Its my weekend and I had baught tickets for all 5 of us. Me the 3 girls and WW. She was is going to drive separate, her big SUV by herself and me with 3 kids in a Jeep wrangler.

Now after court, I have 30 days to come up with 5K for A fees, which will be tricky. I had to make a command decision one that deeply hurts and effects me emotionally. I had to leave WW a voicemail last night letting her know that I can not go, that I would prefer for her to take the girls, even though its my weekend and make sure they have a good time.

My DD8 hear the message and asked and got sad and cried, because she wants me to go. DD11 called just a few minutes later and she asked me if I was going. I left the VM for WW and DD11 called to confirm that I wasn't going. I had left WW the message not really wanting to get teh kids involved. The only thing I heard from DD11 was if we have a spare ticket can we use... that is just like WW. I haven't even had an offer from WW to pay for her ticket let alone help pay for the kids.
Good luck, Eph! Thoughts going out to you today...keep us posted.
Batter UP! Knock this one out of the Park Eph! Let us know how things go...

Dave, keep us posted as your day comes up.
Thanks everyone for your thoughts, prayers, and encouragement.
No idea how long it will take, but I think it will go fast since I ain't budging on custody.


Now batting for the Home team, Eph525. He is batting over .500 with 1 HR and 2 RBIs.

Good stats on that Eph, let's see what he can do today...
VR,

Your kids will see through it if she tries to use this to make you look bad. You're basically doing this FOR your kids so you can afford to fight for them. That's NOBLE.

You know what's up. God knows what's up. You're covered dude.
Eph,

Praying for you today. Remember God is with you.

Still
Quick update from mediation:

No discussions on custody, that will stay as is for now.

It will all be related to financial matters today.
Well we are done for today.

Some baby steps, but no final agreements.

My counter offer on the financial matters was met with some resistance.

So I did not lose anything but did not gain anything. Is that a win or a tie?
That is a win. I'm happy things went well.
Sounds like a win to me. Good job! Were you and WW in same room? Did that go okay?
Winner!
We weren't in court - it was an attorney's office complex.

We were together while the mediator explained the ground rules and the process. Then my A and I went to a different room to craft up a response to WW's original proposal.

The mediator then met with us to review it for his understanding so he could present it to WW and her A. He felt it was fair.

the sticking point was about a cash offer and the value of a portion of my 401k I offered that she would get in a QDRO.

I gave her most property that she wanted that was not being used by the kids, i.e. bikes, clothes (ugh, clothes again?), books, art stuff, etc. We need that stuff at home.

Play-by-play:

And Eph525 steps in and watches ball one go by. Second pitch is fouled off behind the plate. Next pitch, ohh he drops to the ground to keep from taking it on the chin.

Steps back in, here is the pitch, swing and there is a solid single to left-center field.

Looks like the visiting team's coach is on the way to the mound to have a talk with his pitcher - stick a fork in him he is done.
So the final score for the week:

Killer Bees: Six for Six
Waywards: ZERO!!!!

I would like each and every one of you Killer Bees to keep this in mind the next time you wonder, "When is karma gonna come around and bite WS? They get all the fun and stuff and I get all the responsibilities and bills!!" <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Did anyone here win the final battle? No, not really. But each and every time , the waywards presented an unrealistic demand, and each and every time, they were brought down to earth with some harsh realities. Not one single killer bee caved, wavered or freaked out...and not one single killer bee lost anything precious like CUSTODY. (Hey--money is nice but let's be honest...you can live without it!) In each and every instance, the killer bees behaved in a civil, reasonable, dignified fashion protecting themselves and their children...and in pretty much every single instance, the waywards were cranky, controlling, demanding, unrealistic, selfish, or unreasonable.

Guys, this was a GOOD week! Let's celebrate with a Killer Bee BBQ weekend. I'm making ribs...and I'm gonna teach Strivn how to start a grill!!!!!

Here's to you, Killer Bees. I tip my feather tiara to you!!! GOOD JOB!!

Your faithful friend,


CJ
Good at bat Eph! Team Eph is lookin' good, kids cheering from the dugout, all us Bee's in the stands, smell dem dogs and beers. Great day for a ballgame.

I agree with CJ, Great week, you guys! I am in awe.
Well, I was really feeling like mine wasn't a win but I do have custody for awhile longer...

So, I guess THAT is good...

Way to go E...I'd consider that a win too!

CJ, I can't thank you enough for your clarity...I love the way you can put things into prepective...

I guess I'm still up...waiting on the call about CS, and use of the home...hoping it will be early part of next week...

Do we want to have some fun with it and take bets? LOL

Perhaps that like easy some of the tension for me!
Hi Killer B's;

While I am not a vet, nor can I advise you on Plan B, I do want to encourage you and support you on your journeys. Why others don't comment could be two-fold, one, you guys are doing a great job supporting each other, and two, I've concluded there are some on this board that are drawn to the drama's for the excitement. Plan B is more methodical and doesn't change really on a day to day basis. Just my humble opinion.

I just wanted to stop by and let you know that I admire all of you. I didn't find MB until several mo. after d-day #2 with NC established. Thus, I never did the plans. And I regret that after I learned of them. What you guys are going thru now is tough, that's for sure. But what you would be going through w/o is much worse. I can see how strong all of you became after the BS fog lifted, it took quite a while for my fog to lift and still working on the being stong part.

Another aspect of Plan B is, from what you all shared, it has allowed you to be there for your kids. Your emotions are more in check and it doesn't seem like you live your days ruled by them. Your kids have all benefited from this I am sure. I know it wasn't an instant thing for most of you, more like a process until you got to where you are. The fact that there is the group that supports each other is what I think this forum is all about.

Take care and good luck on your journeys.

.
Nabohio,

Thank you for encouraging us. I think it's just been a stressful week for most. You are dead on when you say that there is no real drama in Plan B, which is how it should be.

There are so many new people coming to the forum almost daily, it seems, and THEY really do need the most attention. I do love how this place has helped me to even find a plan, much less follow it.
June 14th.. final court date. I can't seem to help myself from counting down the days. 35 more days till I'm divorced and no longer Mrs. H. In my heart he will always be my H.. not the WH I no longer recognize.
Oh yea, Mesa county, CO
FIL! Another Colorado Bee! Mesa County. So it's a pretty good chance you live in a city with the initials GJ. I really love it on the West side.

I am on the East side of the rocks.

My D should be final on June 13th in Jefferson County. 34 more days.
Count down to court: T minus 14 days tomorrow...

Who else is up soon?
SCQ and I reached an agreement on support. Otherwise, I would have been in court this morning.
Good for you! SO, are you all done? No more court?
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