Marriage Builders
Posted By: Maybe2late Sometimes it does work out. - 05/17/07 04:11 PM
Some times it does work out.

It is just over a year ago that I discovered my wife’s EA. It had been going on for about a year. I found this place about 3 weeks later and set to learning all I could about affairs.

I thought my sitch was special and original and that the ideas around here didn’t apply to me. BOY WAS I WRONG. I thought what the he)) does Mel or Pep or Mrs. &Mr. W (and others) know about me and my wife. Attn newbie’s – they do know – listen to them.

I set out to do the best Plan A I could. I planned trips with my family. As many trips as I could. Picnics, county fairs, water parks – anything that would show my FWW us as a family. It was hard, you all know that. Hard to hear your wife telling you how much she loves the OM. I even moved out for 5 days. But I stuck to it (plan A) and in the end my wife just plain cracked one day while Christmas shopping. Spent the whole day crying to me. That was our turning point. Plan A was 7 months for me and I was about to go to Plan B at the time.

Today my wife HATES the things she said to me while in the fog. She HATES what she did to us. I have made Plan A improvements to me that are paying off big time. She has too. At the end of April I took my family to Disney World to for our son’s 6th bday. While there my wife told me how happy she was that I saved her and us from the EA crap. Talk is in the air of a 3rd child.

I have not been around too much because I am spending time with my family and trying to keep working on me too. I give credit to those who have been here for years and giving of themselves so others can heal. Thank you. I am not writhing this because I think I am special, but I want to give people hope and to show people that sometimes it does work out. I know when I was at my rock bottom that hope was all I had and I looked for it here all the time.

Best wishes to those still in this crap. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

Thanks to those who have helped me when I didn’t want to go on <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Sorrow to those yet to come here. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: Mywifeilove Re: Sometimes it does work out. - 05/17/07 04:23 PM
Awesome, Maybe!!! Dr. Harley's take on all this, has so far been so true!! And the fact that you and I are success stories only stengthens my belief.

It's not always easy to believe that your situation is NOT unique. But when a BS finally gets it, they realize that in the end, THEY ultimately have control of their own happiness, and that recognition generally allows for the best opportunity for a marriage to survive infidelity.
Posted By: FinallyLrningT2H Re: Sometimes it does work out. - 05/17/07 04:27 PM
thanks for sharing!!!

all the best to you and your family.
Posted By: Pepperband Re: Sometimes it does work out. - 05/17/07 04:30 PM
Quote
Talk is in the air of a 3rd child.


last I heard ... "talk" was not gonna be quite enuff to bring the stork by

I think there is hanky-panky afoot !!!!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

ask Mortarman how "it" happends
Posted By: Maybe2late Re: Sometimes it does work out. - 05/17/07 04:35 PM
Hey, Pep. Let me tell you something. You scared the crap out of me when I was fist here. When I had moved out of the house your words "M2L, you really piss me off" was the hit in the head I needed to get home and take back my family. Thanks to you and Mel for being straight shooters. It does take all kinds to help.

MWIL - I think you were the first to post to me. Good to see you still around some. Glad all is well for you too.

FLT- thanks for the kind words!!
Posted By: Pepperband Re: Sometimes it does work out. - 05/17/07 04:43 PM
gawd I'm mean sometimes <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> ... BS-bashing .... !!!!

enjoy the baby-making

sounds like fun to me
Posted By: jmwc95 Re: Sometimes it does work out. - 05/17/07 05:17 PM
I might be another success story pretty soon. I get some affection and ILY's, but still haven't had SF, although there have been hints that the dry spell might end next week when we go on our romantic vacation to the Pacific Northwest (we are spending a couple days in Portland, exploring the Columbia River Gorge, touring the wineries of the Columbia Valley, and spending a couple days in Seattle) because my W "wants our first time together again to be 'special.'" Personally, just having SF would be 'special' enough for me, but I'll take it when I can get it. If it doesn't happen next week, I don't know what I'm going to do (I shave my palms every day and I'm already blind in one eye).
Posted By: Pepperband Re: Sometimes it does work out. - 05/17/07 05:22 PM
Jim

buy new underwear

I am serious

buy something different from the usual

if usually loose .... go tight
and visa versa

humor is an aphrodisiac ... be overtly funny not overtly sexy
Posted By: Maybe2late Re: Sometimes it does work out. - 05/17/07 05:26 PM
Go Jim Go.


Hey, why not give it a go on the plane ride out there???? Something new!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: Pepperband Re: Sometimes it does work out. - 05/17/07 05:33 PM
M2L & Pep the sex cheerleaders on MB

oy-vey ! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> what IS this world coming to???
Posted By: normalguy Re: Sometimes it does work out. - 05/17/07 05:58 PM
It is good to see threads like this. I know I came here often looking for hope. I can say we're recovering too. My wife has started to say more and more often how much she loves me and that she is going to protect us, make me proud, etc. The care we give to each other (meeting ENs) is very good (boy that helps things a LOT) Its a looong way from absolutely no affection or care and date conversations that included lines like "Its not that I hate you"... We have been having an absolutely terrific time in our new home. She has started a job which she is really enjoying. The kids are doing great, both of our sons are on the honor roll getting straight As.
Posted By: frognomore Re: Sometimes it does work out. - 05/17/07 06:29 PM
2, 4, 6, 8 mel and pep have tips on how to fornicate.

Congratulations M2L. I agree with MWIL,
Quote
THEY ultimately have control of their own happiness, and that recognition generally allows for the best opportunity for a marriage to survive infidelity.
Posted By: Maybe2late Re: Sometimes it does work out. - 05/17/07 07:17 PM
Quote
M2L & Pep the sex cheerleaders on MB

oy-vey ! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> what IS this world coming to???

I see your feeling better. Love your humor kind lady.
Posted By: silentlucidity Re: Sometimes it does work out. - 05/17/07 08:25 PM
M2L,
I remember when you moved out, and reading about people telling you to get back in. Thankfully, you had found this place at a time when you really needed it, and began following the advice given.

Many don't find this site soon enough, and I thought I would be one, after going through a year post A#1 flying blind, I found MB, and began my Plan.

Your post comes at a good time, when many of our board members question if their situation is special or totally unique. It's always good to know that we are not alone, and that others have a good idea what we are going through. It's also nice to hear the stories of those who came here with a M in a shambles and are now recovered or on the way.

Thanks for posting this M2L.
Posted By: _Ace_ Re: Sometimes it does work out. - 05/18/07 06:08 AM
M2L....you wrote:

Quote
Hey, Pep. Let me tell you something. You scared the crap out of me when I was fist here. When I had moved out of the house your words "M2L, you really piss me off" was the hit in the head I needed to get home and take back my family.



Thanks to you and Mel for being straight shooters. It does take all kinds to help.

I'm glad for your successes, M2L. I agree that some posters are more effective for those of us stubborn ones who were looking for reinforcement for what we wanted to hear instead of seeking the truth.

Hope you stick around to keep posting positive stories.

Ace
Posted By: Maybe2late Re: Sometimes it does work out. - 05/18/07 02:57 PM
Quote
It is good to see threads like this. I know I came here often looking for hope. I can say we're recovering too. My wife has started to say more and more often how much she loves me and that she is going to protect us, make me proud, etc. The care we give to each other (meeting ENs) is very good (boy that helps things a LOT) Its a looong way from absolutely no affection or care and date conversations that included lines like "Its not that I hate you"... We have been having an absolutely terrific time in our new home. She has started a job which she is really enjoying. The kids are doing great, both of our sons are on the honor roll getting straight As.

Great to hear this NG.

Yes we do need to see more threads like this. I remember hanging on to these kinds of threads for hope when I was deep in the crap. Your story is very good for people with little or no hope.

Best wishes to you.
Posted By: Maybe2late Re: Sometimes it does work out. - 05/18/07 03:00 PM
Silent, Very glad to hear about your sitch and the changes. Very good!!! We need more F Plan B ers as in no need for any Plan A, B or D - just working on a good M.

Ace, thanks for the kind words. Now you know where I have been the last month or so.
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