I decided a few weeks ago I needed to change my way of thinking. Instead of it being the anniversary of the day I found out about the A, I needed to think about it as the anniversary of the day we started making the changes we needed in our marriage.

I have not been perfect in thinking that way, but I am trying. There have been several things the last few weeks that have jumped out at me and reminded me so much of the time and events surrounding the affair and d-day.

I was so blessed that the A was over when I found out. I never had to deal with him leaving, withdrawal, etc. Since the A had ended 2 months before, we were both actually doing the carrot part of plan A. In fact we were building the love banks and meeting one another's needs.

I think when I discovered the A, I was so stunned because things in our marriage were so good. I felt like the couple of months before when things were so good had all been a lie because he was keeping secrets.

I don't think about her as I once I did. Only this past week since we were spending several days in her town with dh's family.

We have come so far. I have a husband who adores me. He makes my heart melt with his smile. He supports me in my business - even goes to help me photograph weddings.

We spend almost all of our time together - even if it is just beside one another while he watches tv and I do computer stuff.

He changed jobs and is now home so much more. I try to meet his needs as well as he meets mine.

We have check ups every few weeks as to how our love banks are building.

We are more honest with our needs. We are honest about when a withdrawal is made from the love bank as well.

We are happy.

We are celebrating the day as a day to "move forward" not to be stuck in the past or even the present.

Another saved marriage! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

This stuff really works! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Mr. G

Hi MoFo,

Still packing, but I had to sneak on here and tell you Happy Day.

For me, this is an unabashedly happy day, since it's the day that, with God at the helm, my Crimson Cape of Power steamrolled over the final obstacles to a peaceful journey.

Even though your day is much more mixed, I'm sure that, like everything else, it will get better with time.

So just keep telling yourself. No more D-Day, just V-Day.

{{{{{{{{{{{{MoFo}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Congrats MoFo (*snicker*) and welcome to the two year club!!! Glad to hear that things are going so well...<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Mrs. W

My dear friend,

Enough people have snickered at me, that I finally looked up mofo, and found that I had not considerable improved myself over my previous abbreviation of "MF", which my own mother snickered at.

So in the interest of continued brevity, I shall now call you Mord.

Unless someone else knows something about that that I don't, and snickers at me.

Neak

I wasn't snickering at you Neak...That is just something that I always done to, ahem, "MoFo" (*snicker*)...She knows that...It's the 13 year old boy sense of humor in me...How in the heck I got that I'll never know...Good thing Mr. W likes it and is that way too...Maybe he and I should change our posting names to Beavis and [censored]! heh heh...Ya think? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Mrs. W

Let me guess - you weren't snickering at me, you were snickering with me, right? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /><img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

No, it makes no difference. Now that I have found that Mofo is not just regular old gangsta talk like bling, but is actually naughty, I can't keep calling poor Mord that. But nice try, Mrs. B. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

ROFL
Honestly, if it is the two of you calling me 'mofo' it doesn't bother me at all. I know for Mrs. W it is more a term of endearment - well at least a term of teasing <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Now, when I got called that by a kid at school this year, it bothered me a lot. On here, I don't associate it with the same thing.

Neak, something you said really stuck out to me this morning. I had a facial today and a lot of time to think. You said it was mixed. I started to respond that we are doing really well - not really feeling mixed, but I was in a hurry to leave.

While I was thinking, I realized that yeah it is mixed - because we both decided on d-day that we would work on it and therefore the d-day was the same day as recovery began. Although, we are doing really well in recovery, there is still that stigma to 6-27.

So I can see where I am still having mixed emotions. I am very excited that the good feelings about recovery far outweigh the negative ones about d-day.

thanks for helping me see that

move! I miss you. Congratulations on the two year mark and doing so well in the recovery of your marriage. Well earned it is.

Thanks, FF. I miss you, too. I was thinking about you this week and wondering how things were with you. Do you update on Idiotville or somewhere? I would probably never find it on Idiotville since there are so many pages, so how are you?

move, I have not updated here in a long time. I post mainly on a board for BS's with OC situations. It is not something much understood around here unfortunately.

Doing ok, we have been in recovery for a few months. I had my last dday 12/31/06. He came to me on his own, confessed and has since been NC with OW and OC.

Congratulations, Moveforward!!!

I can't express how happy I am for both of you making it through the dark days following DD. Your friendship and advice has been a comfort to me these past two years.

Wishing you many years of continued marital bliss.

Love,
k.d.'s heartbreak