Discussion question....POJA and the end of the affair - 12/06/07 04:24 AM
This issue came up in a discussion I'm having off the board and I'd love to hear what some of you guys think about this.
Is the end of the affair and the ground rules for transparency and safety for the BS something that should be POJA'd - or should these things be met by the WS for the BS...and then once safety ground rules are in place, POJA should become the rule of thumb?
My thinking, based on my experience with Steve Harley, is that first comes NC, radical honesty, transparency, etc, as the BS needs, and then POJA can be implemented, but not before.
We talk alot about negotiating the end of the affair around here..and alot about POJA in recovery...
But I am wondering if people are thinking that the BS should negotiate his or her safety with a WS?
What are your thoughts?
Is the end of the affair and the ground rules for transparency and safety for the BS something that should be POJA'd - or should these things be met by the WS for the BS...and then once safety ground rules are in place, POJA should become the rule of thumb?
My thinking, based on my experience with Steve Harley, is that first comes NC, radical honesty, transparency, etc, as the BS needs, and then POJA can be implemented, but not before.
We talk alot about negotiating the end of the affair around here..and alot about POJA in recovery...
But I am wondering if people are thinking that the BS should negotiate his or her safety with a WS?
What are your thoughts?